Housewife Adventures

Buddy and Bug

2011-12-29T14:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Blogger,

Things are not really working out for us. It's not me. It's you. My readers can't comment on my posts. I can't even comment on my posts! Also, you are kind of slow...

A friend of mine introduced me to a blog site called WordPress. I can be found at Buddy and Bug.

Affectionately Yours,

Michal

Twas The Night Before Christmas

2011-12-24T07:56:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Eve and everyone you meet is near to burst because tomorrow is their favorite day of the year!

Not I.

Though I do love Christmas, for me, the best day is today! Christmas Eve. My dear Reader, you know that I love to set a stage and there is none other set like there will be tonight!

I have spent a little over a month getting my props just so. Every detail is thought out. It starts with the Christmas decorations and is even in the careful consideration of the wrapping paper and ribbons. I feel the wrapped gifts are just as much apart of the decor as the ornaments on the tree. Every year I choose a color scheme and stick to it. This year I went with silver and green simply because I had scads of silver and green ribbon left over from a Homecoming party Caren and I decorated for.

Then there are the advents. We have several. One is a large wooden box fixed with 25 doors. Behind each door is either a piece of candy or a piece of paper with instructions for getting in the Christmas spirit, i.e. call your uncle, watch a Christmas special, kiss under the mistletoe, etc. Upon our move to Colorado we began another type of advent with our chalk board wall. On it I draw a full sized Christmas tree and each day one of the kids draws an ornament on it. This has been nice because the child who does not open a door on the other advent gets to draw the new ornament. Tomorrow's child gets to draw the star at the top of our chalk tree! Gabriel has already confessed to me BIG plans for this year's sketch. And finally we have an advent that is just for the week before Christmas. It was a gift given to us when Drew was just a babe, called What God Wants For Christmas.

I have found this to be a wonderful tool for both counting down to the big day but also preparing my young boys' hearts for what our family is really celebrating. This advent is a nativity. Each day a short poem is read based on the events told in Luke 2:1-20. Inside the advent are 7 boxes. After a poem is read, the boys get to open one of the seven gift boxes. They are numbered so they can be opened in order. Each box contains a character of the nativity. Finally on the seventh day we get to open the box to see what God wants for Christmas and it's....I can't tell you! I would hate to ruin the surprise in case you get one of these yourselves! I cry every year. I actually arrange it so that the seventh box is opened on Christmas Eve so that my kids can go to bed with the beautiful imagery the advent provides to ponder in their hearts.

The night before Christmas....truly the most magical of all nights! Just before bed we cram the whole family onto the couch poised before a roaring fire. I will lead a few Christmas lullabies that are favorites of the boys followed by someone reading Twas The Night Before Christmas (either Aaron or a special guest.) Aaron then reads Luke 2:1-20 to the boys and we wrap up the bed time stories with our What God Wants For Christmas Advent. Then with special care, the boys prepare a plate of Santa's favorite cookies (Sombreros/peanut butter cookies with a Hershey kiss in the middle) and a cup of eggnog. Both are lovingly placed on the fire place hearth where they wait for our dear Santa.

We tuck the boys in with a special Christmas Eve prayer and then Aaron and I retire to the basement to work on a jigsaw puzzle or to watch a Christmas special or both. We have a glass or two of eggnog ourselves (with plenty of nog) and wait until the boys are sound asleep. When we see that the sugar plumbs are dancing, we pull out the Santa Gifts. They are specially labeled from the North Pole and have a unique ribbon tied about them. The stockings get stuffed. The cookies are eaten and typically something near the fireplace is disturbed as proof that Santa had made an entrance.

And then I in my kerchief and Aaron in his cap will finally settle down for a long winters nap....(except that the anticipation is too delicious!!!)

Nearing Full On Mountain Woman Status

2011-12-18T17:25:00.000-08:00

Aaron and I saw a mountain lion! (I think the experience increased my Mountain Woman status a few notches.) The family was on our way home from a band concert when the gorgeous creature passed in front of our car. It was fast but Aaron and I had an unobstructed view of it. They are quite large... On it's hind legs, Aaron guessed it would stand at 7 feet. I feel like that's a bit of an exaggeration but when I talked to other Mountain Folk they said it was not an unreasonable assessment.

I have hoped to see a mountain lion and a bear. I hoped to see both while driving or through the window of my house. Check and check. I was most happy to see the lion while in the car. Seeing that in my yard would not have been so pleasant... Though it was miles from my home, it has unnerved me a bit.

I've always known they were out there and have heard of sightings in the hood but to see one yourself and in action... My nerves are a tad shaken.

That night when we got home, I found myself a little creeped out about getting out of the car and walking up the drive into the house.....at NIGHT! Eek! They could be out there watching us! On another evening I found that I had left my phone in the car. Also, the car was parked in the half way point in the driveway....

"Babe, I left my phone in the car."

"K."

"Well...would you mind getting it for me?"

*Quizzical look*

"It's dark."

No response.

"The mountain lion has me a little spooked...."

"Go get your phone."

I grabbed a flashlight and my car keys. As I walked down the driveway I clicked the lock on my remote entry keys so the lights would flash on and off. Once to my car I dove in and quickly retrieved my phone. The heebie jeebies took hold of me as I slammed the car door shut and...

"Eeeeeeeyaah!" I screamed as I ran for the front door.

See. Mountain Woman status: up.

Sort of.

The Drew Bug has been sick this weekend and as I type I am starting to feel the evil booger creep over me. NoooOooOooOOoOoo! Poor little Bug threw up twice. If I'm lucky I'll get that part too. Little pre-holiday weight loss... On second thought: I don't really have the strength for it. Beginning to find even typing exhausting...

Prayers.

Mediocre: The New Awesome

2011-12-15T21:14:00.000-08:00

This week is almost over and I have never looked forward to Christmas break more. I have been pumpin' and blowin' since 6 a.m. Monday. I have hardly been in my house, which would make one assume that means it can't get messier but that is a wrong assumption (as most assumptions are). My house is in a Red Alert Disaster! Laundry and dishes have piled to the ceiling as have all the crud we like to dump on the island in the kitchen. Now it's like...a volcanic island.

This week I have shopped, worked out, seen the nutritionist, waxed my eyebrows, volunteered at the school 3 times, planned parties, baked, baked, baked, (for a cookie exchange) made tamales, shopped, did the post office thing, wrapped presents and have forgotten lunch at least twice.

I sent the following e-mail out Tuesday night (after a band concert and after staying up to frost the cookies for the cookie exchange):

My Dear Ladies of the Kitchen,

I have been going non-stop today trying to get everything ready for school events, baking day, and Christmas (like all of you, I'm sure.) I walked into the laundry room today when I needed the restroom.... I think the Starbucks barista did not comply with my order for DECAF but...I digress.

The rest of the week is looking to be just as crazy, including tomorrow. Drew's eco-fair is tomorrow (selling mini donuts) and I have been wrestling all day with how to do eco-fair and make tamales. It's tough, really, trying to choose between your child and tamales.... His fair starts at 9:30 and ends at 11:30. I've decided I can indeed do both, though I will have to leave both my child and tamales hanging a tad. Drew and I can get up early tomorrow; he to make his mini donut batter and I to make the masa for the tamales. (I know, Caren. Sounds like how you operate every day but though I dream of it, I am not an actual superhero.)

I have stopped the tornado briefly to send you this note of instruction:

I will drop the husks, masa, ect. at Caren's. You will want to start by soaking the husks in warm water. This is to both soften them and clean them. I am unfamiliar with the brand of husks I bought so....i have no idea how they will be. Sometimes they have dead bugs and corn silk in them, so get that all off.

Page 10 of the Historic Cookery cook book will give you instruction for the carne con chili. Do the one for Red Chili. I do not use a chili sauce but powder and I don't add any stock or tomatoes unless the meat mixture seems really dry.

Page 7 has the masa instructions but I should be back before you run out of the first batch I make.

After the carne con chili is made and the husks are clean, dry them. You may need to trim the husks, mainly the pointy end off. Spread the masa (I use the back of a spoon) on the smoothest side of the husk. You will see that one side is much more bumpy then the other. Should take about 2-3 T of masa. Then add a heaping T (or 2 depending on the size of the husks) into the masa. Fold the sides together and then the bottom up. Clear as mud?

I should be there by 11:15.

I'm sorry to do it this way and leave you in a lurch but...about 7 years ago I had this kid... Also, I just read the recipe and I know you all are much better at following a recipe then I am!

144 tamales later...

Just before bed last night my oldest informed me that he would need a treat for band the next morning because they were going to have a party. Seriously. Thanks for the heads up. I figured I would just send the cookies I got at the exchange.

I woke up this morning still feeling exhausted. Not a good sign. I have not been this tired since I was pregnant! Then I remembered it was Polar Express Day for Drew's class and I was supposed to bring hot cocoa and a treat.

I can use the cookie exchange cookies, I thought. Wait. No I can't. I'm using them for Gabe's party.

I was also bummed because I wanted to save those cookies for my family. Then I remembered my mom telling me a real easy holiday treat. I planned on using it for Gabe's class party but figured I could make them now for both the band and Polar Express and just buy more ingredients when I was out running errands today. The treat (and I've been so stinkin' busy I did not even take a picture) are made with chocolate donuts, like hostess brand. You stick a red candy (m&m) in the hole and then broken mini pretzels in top for antlers and wa-la! Rudolph Donuts! Oh, and dot on some eyes with icing. My sons did the m&m noses and pretzel antlers and I did the eyes. Thank you MOM!!!

As I said before, I was pumpin' and blowin' and a song was running through my head:

A sweet friend had posted this on her Facebook profile and it has become my anthem the past two days. (Not to mention the killer dance moves this chick has. I can totally work that!) "I'm runnin' and I won't touch down! Oh no! I've got to keep on movin'!

While at the school this a.m. I ran into Gabe's teacher. I'm his room mom and am in charge of the Christmas party.

"Hey...sorry I haven't decorated or anything, " I told him.

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. Gabriel said it's going to be an awesome party!"

"Damn..."

I have sent out e-mails to the parents and it seems like everything is going to come together. Several are pitching in by bringing snacks, paper goods, etc.

"Does anyone have party ideas? I would like to not do musical chairs. A child in Gabriel's second grade class threw up during musical chairs and I will forever associate it with that. But that's just me..."

A mom suggested a game where the kids wrap boxes while wearing gloves. (Oh my gosh! I'm supposed to bring gloves. Note to self....)

Still I would like to start the party like this:

"Hi kids....I'm Mrs. McDowell...I heard a rumor that this is going to be an awesome party! If you heard that rumor I would like for you to just take a minute to lower your expectations a bit, mmkay? Once you are ready for a mediocre party then I think we will be all set for a good time!"
One more day and then I can spend the next 3 weeks relaxing with my kids... (Tell me you get the irony of that.)

Out Of The Mouth's of Babes

2011-12-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

My kids make me absolutely batty but they also keep Aaron and I in stitches all the time! Here are some recent funnies:

Drew wrote a commercial for his economics fair project at school where he is selling mini-donuts:

Are you tired of your plain donuts being too big for your children and they start feeling sick? Are they too crumbly? Well not any more! Come on down to Drew's Mini Holes! When you buy mini donuts it's small enough for your children, are not crumbly, and your children will not feel sick any more! So come on down to Drew's Mini Holes!

Here is a paper Gabriel wrote on whether or not you would like to have a sibling. I was so touched that he chose that it was better to have a sibling then to not....:

I would like having a big brother or sister and I like having a younger brother or sister too. I would like to explain why. First, with brothers and sisters you have someone to annoy, you can pick on them too. But only when there's nothing else to do. Next, it's kind of better if you have one that's younger than you because they get in trouble more often so you sometimes seem like an obedient kid. You can play with them if you can't got to a super ~~cool~~ marvelous friend's house. When you are grounded from TV and anything else with a screen, you can start playing with them. They can be fun or boring. You find out. Then at dinner time your brother or sister might make a bigger mess than your mess, making people think that you're cleaner by comparison. It is the same when they have a messier room then you. I am sure that at least one or more than one of these things I say are true. I know because I have a little brother. Finally, I can end this paragraph! (I was running out of sentences.) Do you think brothers and sisters are awesome?

I like how he will only play with his brother as a last resort...

Conversation overheard in the car:

Drew: Brother, when I grow up, if I decide to have a seafood restaurant, I'm going to name it The Salty Batoon.

Gabriel: What's a batoon?

Drew: I don't know. I heard it on Star Wars. "General Kreel, assemble the batoon!"

Gabriel: Ha ha! You mean PLAtoon.

Drew: Oh well. I think Salty Batoon sounds better.

Conversation I had with Gabriel who is considering auditioning for a role in Camelot:

Me: Gabriel, I was looking at the description for the role and it's a little boy who wants to be a Knight of the Round Table.

Gabriel: Cool.

Me: It is cool! I think it sounds like a perfect role for you. I bet that if you lived in the Renaissance times you would have wanted to be a knight.

Gabriel: Well...I think I would've been interested but...and no offense...I would've been more interested in being a samurai.

Me: Yes, but you'd have to be Japanese.

Gabriel: I think they would make an exception for me.

Me: Indeed.

Incident at Gabe's band concert last night:

Drew was so stinkin' excited to hear Gabriel play. Once we got there he became more excited as he saw friends from school filing in.

"OH! Hey! Madeline! Over here! It's me, Drew!" he shouted while waving his hands around. "My big brother is going to perform tonight! He plays the trumpet! What? What? I can't hear you! Hey Lily! It's me Drew! My brother is playing the trumpet tonight! You're what? What? You're too far away! Oh my gosh! Jack! Hey Jack!..."

You get the picture.

The lady in front of us turned to Drew and asked if he'd ever seen Goonies before.

"No."

"You should see it. You remind me of one of the characters in that movie!"

Oh...Chunk!

In the car after the concert (p.s. Gabe was so proud of his performance he pumped his trumpet in the air in the final applause):

Drew: Brother, you were awesome.

Gabriel: Thanks.

Aaron: What is that smell?

Me: I thought it was you.

Aaron: I thought it was you!

Drew: *giggle, giggle, giggle* It was me! I farted! *peals of laughter* And I farted in the concert too! *cracking up* I farted lots of times!

The whole family was in tears with laughter. Aaron rolled down the window.

Drew: Dad! It's freezing! Put the window up!

Gabriel: Would you rather face the cold or Drew's farts?

Aaron and I: The cold!

And finally, while watching a bit of snow start to fall this morning:

Drew: This looks like the works of Jack Frost!

Drake's Party Part 2

2011-12-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

This morning Drew did so good getting ready. He used a new chart that I had made him to help him stay on task. He made himself eggs for breakfast. Aaron had apparently emptied the trash this morning. He removed the trash bag from the can and placed the full bag in the corner of the kitchen. Why he can't get it down to the garage is beyond me. He also failed to re-line the can. Drew tossed every broken shell into the can assuming it was lined.

(First mess of the day for me to clean up.)

On the way to school we saw 6 turkey's crossing, 4 elk a grazing, one goat standing on his hind legs, and a partridge in a pear tree. OK, not the partridge or the pear tree. Now THAT would've been something!

When I got home I noticed that Drake was not in the yard. This usually means that he got cold and let himself into the house. Sure enough, when I walked in Drake greeted me. He was ashamed for the breaking and entering, nub tail tucked, ears and head down.

"Buddy...you know better! It's your special day though, so you can stay in with mom!"

I headed up the stairs and noted this at the top of the landing:

"Drakers! Bad dog! This is Gabriel's Halloween candy! Oh...and it's chocolate..."

And then I saw this:

"DRAKE! Outside! Now!"

I opened the door and he ran right out. I don't know who I was more aggravated with, the dog for getting into the trash, my husband for leaving it out, or me for not taking it down myself on my way out the door.

I assessed the rest of the house:

The empty ziploc was full of Caren's home made Cranberry Pistachio Biscotti that I had planned on mailing to my Grandma. There was also a partial pound cake that is now missing. The blanket is from my couch that he is NOT supposed to get on and was either used to try and clean up his mess or to cover it up. Miraculously, the gingerbread house was untouched.

Aaron IM'd me to see how the morning went. After I told him EXACTLY how my morning went I added:

"If you are ever wondering why the house never seems to get better, why the same messes are in the same places when you get home, it's because of days like this."

Gotchya!

2011-12-12T05:49:00.000-08:00

One year ago today the boys and I were at a birthday party while Aaron drove out to the Boulder Humane Society to adopt Drake. Never in my life have I felt for a dog like I do this one. I don't know if it's because he is so darn big or because he is such a lover but this dog has completely won my heart!

He is a rascal and has given me loads of trouble. I don't know how many dog beds he's eaten, cats he's threatened, deer he's chased, or children he's made cry but the hearts he's invaded far out weigh his naughtiness. We hired him a personal trainer, Christine, who has worked wonders with him and has become a friend to our family as well.

Not everyone is as fond of Drake as we are. Poor Sinclaire felt betrayed enough to move out. She seems to be as happy with her new family as Drake is with his!

To celebrate one year with Drake the kids and I threw him a Gotchya Day Party.

Drake with his party hat on

It was to be a small affair but grew into a full blown bash! Several of Drake's friends (both human and canine) came out to celebrate. His trainer, Christine, came with her three dogs and Caren and her girls came with The Rowdies. There were 6 dogs in all! Our sweet friends Melissa and her kids came out as well but Mel said her dogs were too old for parties. Poor pups. ;)

Drew and I made cupcakes for the dogs. We used the meat log that we buy for Drake in the refrigerator of the pet aisle. They were frosted with peanut butter and had a Pupperoni dog treat in the middle as a candle. We also got Frosty Paws dog ice cream! To serve these to the pack with out causing a huge dog fight, we served each dog one at a time in the house. It went very well!

Leave it...

Drake got fun dog gifts from his guests and we sent them home with a little chew toy for a party favor as well. The humans got cake too, thanks to Aaron's leftover birthday cake!

It was such a fun day! My boys are already talking about next year's Gotchya Day. Uh-oh... What have I started?

How I Wrecked The New Car

2011-12-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

Book club was last night and I got a group message text from the host:

Careful driving. Second turn going up is slippery, you should do fine if you go slowwwww. See you all soon. I can come get you at the park and ride, Michal.

I read it to Aaron.

"Do you think I should take her up on that?"

"No," he laughed, "You can drive yourself. Do they know you wrecked the new car?" he laughed more.

"No..."

"Does Caren?"

"Oh yeah, she knew before you did."

"Oh I can't wait to tell them all," he chortled.

"I will tell them..."

So here is how I wrecked the car:

A few weeks ago Aaron bought me a new car with all wheel drive. My other car couldn't make it up our drive way if there was the slightest bit of snow on it.

After bringing the new car home, I wanted to take it for a spin and set out for a grocery run.

"Be careful..." Aaron said looking down on me.

"I will!" I answered indignantly.

But he had reason to warn me. I have a track record of blowing a tire or backing into a tree, or side swiping the mirror every time we get a new car.

My run to the store went with out incident; as did all other excursions in the car for the past few weeks. Until Monday.

Monday morning I went outside and remeasured the snow. Over the past few days we had accumulated 19.5 inches! There was still 13 remaining on the ground. I called around to see if school was closed.

All systems were a-go.

Stupid Mountain People! This is ridiculous.

I considered keeping the kids home anyway but Aaron said if school was open then they needed to go.

I checked with Caren who had already ran several errands that morning and she said the roads were fine.

"It's an accumulation of up to a foot but they have been maintaining the roads in between. They are fine. Are you asking me to take Gabe to band?"

"No. I'm taking him."

I begrudgingly got my kids out on the snow packed roads. I dropped Drew off at the bus stop to wait with Kevin (and to keep me from killing him because we had another rough morning. That is another story and is improving as Drew and I both are getting more organized) and I drove Gabriel to school for band.

All with out incident.

Caren called me when I was at the school.

"Did you make it?"

"I made it. I guess now I need to go on to my tap class."

And on I went.

With out incident.

After tap I went home and had lunch by the fire. After lunch I set to work on the house. Our bathroom is being redone and so I periodically would peek in on our contractor, Joe, to see how all was going. My day was going much better and productively. Soon it was time for the kids to return home.

One of the things Drew and I fought about that morning was wearing his snow gear. He eschewed the snow pants and boots. He only took a coat because I threw it at him as we walked out the door. The high that day was 10. I planned on letting him walk up from the bus stop with only his coat and wind pants but Aaron told me that was unacceptable. So I grabbed the car keys and bundled up.

Our driveway is long and narrow but has a couple of little nooks where one could park their car. Our contractor had tucked his truck into one such nook, truck pointed down the driveway. As I backed out I made sure to check for his truck. The last thing I needed was to back into it. The new car has a feature that beeps if you are about to back into something.

Looking out back and using the mirrors I made a careful descent down the drive. I had cleared his truck (with out even any beeping) and began to turn my car into another nook in the driveway so that I could go the rest of the way down facing forward. As I did I heard a loud SCRAPE!

"No," I moaned.

I stopped my car and looked out the front window. It appeared that I was past the truck. I got out and saw that our bumpers had hooked and my bumper was half way off! I got back in the car and headed back up to the house.

"Joe....I hit your truck..."

"Oh no! I'm so sorry!"

What a guy to apologize for where he parked when I hit the car?! Joe came out and surveyed the damage. His bumper suffered a 2 inch crack but nothing more. He reattached my bumper and had me check my lights and other things. Everything seemed to be in working order.

"What are these for?" I asked as I handed him a pile of broken plastic.

There was scolding from the kids that they had to walk up the hill in the freezing cold and Drake got out during all of this as well. It was just an awful night. Joe asked the kids to be kind to me, that I had tried to pick them up but had an accident and then he took off in his truck to round up the dog. Seriously. A very kind man.

Aaron was not to be home for dinner as his boss was in from Canada and they were out together. As I made dinner for the kids my anxiety grew. I hated not telling Aaron right away about the car. I needed to confess. I texted Caren and Shalah:

"I got in a wreck in the new car..."

They both asked if I was OK.

"Sorry, I should've started with, I'm OK."

Caren was relieved to learn that it was not due to the snow. She was worried that I had slid into a ditch and would never drive in the snow again.

"Was it because of the snow?" Shalah asked.

"I wish... I hit my contractors truck backing out of the driveway."

"Dork. Does Aaron have his paper bag to breathe into?"

"Aaron is out with his boss."

"Wine."

"Already poured."

Later Aaron's brother texted regarding Christmas plans.

"P.S. I wrecked our new car. I am dreading your brother's return from work...."

"Send the kids to bed early and answer the door naked. He'll be alright."

"Not a bad plan. Maybe I'll have a beer for him too."

And later, Shalah again:

"Well, what did Aaron say?"

"Not home yet. On his way..."

At this point I am feeling like a little girl who has to tell her parents that she lied or did some other awful thing. I just wanted to get this whole things over with.

"Matt suggested I greet him naked."

"He'll know you did something if you do that. He's been married to you too long."

"True."

"I never asked, what kind of car is it? Do you even know?"

"I do know! Sort of... It's a Volvo....of some kind. An SUV."

"Damn. A Volvo. OK yeah...take off your clothes and start praying."

Then I heard his car pull up. I heard him climb the stairs up to the front door. I heard him enter and rummage around. I knew he would soon see the broken car parts sitting out on the kitchen counter.

Time to pay the piper.

I went up stairs and found Aaron in the kitchen going through the mail. Maybe he had not seen the broken car parts.

"Hey, Babe..."

"Hey," he said as he hugged and kissed me.

Must not have seen them.

"Honey...um...I was in a bit of an accident...."

"I saw," he said and gestured to the parts. "You OK? Anyone hurt?"

"I'm fine. No one was hurt."

"Was it with an inanimate object or another car?"

"Um...kind of...both?"

Silence.

"I hit Joe's truck."

"Crap."

"I didn't damage his car at all. Well...a little...but nothing he is concerned about."

"OK. I think I know where all of this goes. I'll take a look at it in the morning."

That's it?

"I'm really sorry, Babe."

"I know," and he hugged me and sighed with disappointment.

"You're disappointed."

"Yep."

"I kind of wish you'd yell at me....I do this every time we get a new car!"

"Yep."

We shut the house up together and went to bed. He spooned me into his arms and was soon softly snoring.

What an amazing man. Thank you Lord for giving me such a good man! Thank you for his grace and Yours.

My Last Baking Day

2011-12-08T11:05:00.000-08:00

Everyday this week I had been thinking it was Wednesday. Wednesday finally came and I thought it was Thursday. Wednesday is, of course, Baking Day. Feeling out of sorts, I had no intentions of tooling about with fires and kitchen utensils, but after I got there I decided to take care of my month long craving for cranberry scones.

The scones were set aside, yet again, and I made cranberry cream cheese muffins. Quite the consolation prize! (In fact, I am eating one now. So good...)

As often (and I mean OFTEN) happens during baking day, someone finds that an ingredient is missing, or I forget to bring something to take things home in or just something happens that sends me back to my house. It is not unusual for me to walk back and forth between Caren and I's homes 3-5 times a Baking Day. I tell myself it's good exercise but it really does get exhausting.

During one of my errand home I saw one of my neighbors outside and learned that he had pneumonia. His wife had recently had back surgery and they are an older couple. I text Aaron the news who asked if they needed dinner. I had already thought the same thing and grabbed a bowl of beans from the fridge and some meat from the freezer.

"I'm going to make chili beans for the neighbor. I had started to make the beans a couple of days ago but they never finished cooking!"

"Beans take a long time to cook and at this altitude it takes even longer. The boiling point is higher," Laurel explained. "This is why I usually just buy canned beans."

"I do too actually but the other day I was remembering how I would come home and the whole house would smell yummy because my mom was cooking beans. Aaron had bought a huge bag of pinto beans in case we ever got snowed in and so I decided to cook them. I soaked them and I boiled them for about 6 hours and they are still not cooked. Do you think I can finish them up today?"

"Oh, yeah. That should work!"

So I set them up on the stove. I figured in an hour or two they should be done. I mean they had already cooked for half a day!

My muffins turned out great and everyone else's goodies were coming along magnificently. It came time that everyone had to leave to pick up children or what not. My beans were still not done and so I would be staying to wait them out. Stacey's orange pound cakes had not finished baking and so she left me with instructions for attending to them.

"They just have a little bit of time left on them. When the timer goes off, if you wouldn't mind, checking them with a toothpick. I'll be back later to pick my stuff up," Stacey said as she headed out the door.

No problem, right? Boiling beans and baking pound cake. The hard part was done and now the oven and stove top would do the rest. I occupied myself with doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. The beans had been boiling for about 2 hours so I spooned one out to check if it was done. When I cut it with a fork it was crumbly.

Seriously? Dang!

Then Stacey called:

"There should still be a little time left on those cakes," she said as I opened the oven to check on them.

"They look gorgeous! One in the back looks a little dark....should I rotate them?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. Also, you might cover it with foil so it does not brown any further."

I got off the phone with Stacey and set to rotating the cakes. When I pulled the brown one out it sort of tipped. The inside was not cooked AT ALL and the batter poured out of the top of the cake and all over Caren's oven.

"No! No! Crap, crap, crap!" I cursed and fussed while I got a rubber spatula to try and scoop up what had spilled and put it back into the cake. I then covered the ruined pound cake with foil and then tried to clean up the oven. There was batter down in the crack of the door. I took some paper towels and tried to wipe it out.

"Crap!"

All I could think of was that Stacey wanted one gluten free cake. I was pretty sure this was the gluten free one since it was the only one turning out differently. The one gluten free one and I spilled it. I spilled it all over Caren's oven, who is probably ready to kick me out of her kitchen because her cookbooks, appliances and work places all bare evidence of my being there.

"Crap!"

I checked the beans again. Still not done.

I returned to clean up.

I was cleaning one of Caren's very sharp knives with the rainbow handles (you Baking Day girls know what I'm talking about) as I went to return it to the knife block I tripped. Luckily I did not fall to the floor. I righted myself and laughed as I put the knife away.

Oh now wouldn't that have been the best? I can just imagine Caren coming home to find me dead on her kitchen floor. Which would be more disturbing...that I was dead or that her good knife was ruined? Ha ha! Oh I hope that if that had really happen that the girls would all laugh at my funeral! "Baking Day did her in!"

The timer went off on the pound cakes but they were still a gooey mess inside. The beans were still not done either. I fought tears because I seemed to be cursed in the kitchen. I don't even have to do anything but be near the cooking food and it will be guaranteed to be foiled! (And I don't me with aluminum.)

No good deed goes unpunished, I thought as I stared into the pot of boiling beans.

Caren finally got home and I got out of that kitchen as soon as I could. She would call me when the beans were done so I could add the other ingredients and take them to our ailing neighbor.

Once home I declared to Aaron that I was done with Baking Day.

"I'll just go sit and have tea while they bake but I'm not cooking anymore!"

"Yes you are."

"Nope."

"When are y'all making tamales?"

"Next week."

*Silence and a knowing look*

"I'll make tamales and THAT will be my last week."

And there is more to tell....

When Santa Vomits

2011-12-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

We have 12.5 inches of snow on the ground. The earth has absorbed some of it because when I measure what is on the patio table its 19.5. I have a love hate relationship with these conditions. I love to be inside, by the fire with some Bailey's spiked cocoa, admiring the snowy scenery from the warm side of the window. However, the mountain never shuts down and I have to drive my son to band and then go on to my tap class.

I could skip both but Gabe has a concert coming up and I missed last weeks tap class due to a stomach virus. I have the least experience in the class and can not afford to miss any. The instructor says I'm doing great but so far I can't crack a smile. I must appear to be very serious. I don't know what I am. I'm nervous and embarrassed. I hate when I'm not good at things. I must be a glutton for punishment though because I keep putting myself in situations where I perform lousy. You know, like kitchens and dance schools.

I was still nervous driving this morning but I managed not to white knuckle it or cry. I was remembering the first time I got "caught in the snow." I was buying groceries when about 10 flurries fell from the sky. I prayed through clenched teeth the whole way home. Hahaha! I guess I am a little more mountainy now then I thought.

So now that I have run all of my errands; I am "in" for the day! There is no where I prefer to be this time of year then at home! I think my home is just beautiful when decorated for Christmas. Yuletide touches are in every bit of my house. Even the bathroom has an especially cute Christmas shower curtain and some other fun accessories.

One Christmas Past, Shalah visited.

"Michal, your house looks beautiful.... I mean, it's like Santa threw up all over the place!"

Yea! What a compliment!

Here is a little tour for you:

Best seat in the house

The lounge...so to speak.

The Holiday does not begin until Auntie Cutie's mistletoe arrives!

I think books make such pretty decorations. I have more on top of the piano.

This year I went for some live garland. I have the faux garland my mom used when we were growing up. I felt like it was getting a little chewed up looking. I may have to bring it back out though because it is hard keeping live garland fresh in dry, dry Colorado!

The nativity I painted a few years ago on the basement mantle.

The scene outside makes the basement's look complete!

I have scads more photos but I'll just leave you with this last one, my favorite!

I love peeking into my sleeping boys' room that is lit up with their own little tree!

The kitchen has Christmas towels and pot holders draped about. Glass icicles hang above my sink and the chalk board wall fills in as a type of advent for us. I've drawn a huge Christmas tree on it and the Little's draw an new ornament on it every day. There are a few hints of the season in the guest room as well. So...what do you think? Too much? Does it look like Santa has spewed his good cheer?

Mountain Woman Test: Driving In Snow

2011-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

Whenever I wake up to a snowy morning I think of Simon and Garfunkel...."this is the sound...of silence." I awoke to "the sound of silence" this morning; our part of the world muffled under piles of snow.

Aaron recently bought me a new car, with all wheel drive, for just such a day. Today would be it's virgin voyage in snowy conditions. The kids and I prepared for launch with little concern.

"Mom, can I wear 'heaters' today?" Drew asked.

("Heaters" are what Drew calls pants that are fresh out of the dryer.) I threw his pants in to the dryer.

"Socks too!" Drew called down the stairs.

I went out ahead of schedule to warm up the car and to remove snow from all of the windows. We would be leaving with plenty of time for me to drive slow. The snow was already about 6 inches deep and was still coming down.

I text Aaron and Caren:

"Today will be my first day to drive the new car in the snow."

"Be careful. It's not good," Aaron responded.

"I'll be thinking of you," Caren texted.

"It's a Mountain Woman test..." I sent back.

As I loaded the kids up (and was no longer early because The One Which Will Remain Nameless couldn't get his act together) I was still feeling confident and comfortable with the task before me. I've had a lot of experience driving in snow as of late but when it's like this I have had the good fortune of hitching a ride with Caren.

Before heading out Caren called for a little pep talk.

"Call me when you've made it home," she said.

Backing out was fine. We pulled out onto the road. Caren's in-laws were at the bus stop with their grand-daughter.

Oh Lord, please don't let me be the one to run over Kevin's parents...and right in front of their little girl!

I put the car in Neutral and began to gently break...slide...off of break, gently break...slide...and stop.

Whew! Friends and family still alive!

The couple smiled and waved to me, unaware of the danger they were in.

That little bit there told me what I was in for for the rest of the way to the school. The boys know there is no talking when Mom is driving on snow and they were near perfect. We drove on in silence and at a snails pace. As I turned onto the highway there was another slippy slide. I regained control and on we went.

Besides the roads, there was an issue with my windshield wipers. I couldn't figure out how to work them.

Why is this so difficult?

The control was on the right instead of the left. I could not figure out if it was turning it or flipping it that made it go. Somehow I got them on but could not control the speed. The insistent wonk, wonk, wonk of the blades on the dry window was making me batty. I finally got it at a speed that was in time with the snow fall.

In front of the local saloon we had a slippy, slip, slip, slide. With clenched teeth, I handled everything as taught.

"Whoa!" Drew said.

"Shh!" scolded Gabe.

By the time we got to the school, poor Gabriel was 10 minutes late for band. I helped him gather his things and then walked Drew into school on shaky legs. I guess my face was as white as the scenery because Drew's teacher Julia, greeted me with, "Gotta love Colorado!"

I weakly smiled.

I got Drew settled in his class and then went into the hall to discuss Christmas plans with his teacher.

"I'm trying not to cry. I'm still a little freaked out from the drive in," I said before we began.

"Oh you should do it!" she said as she hugged me. "Let it out. You'll feel much better. I still cry and freak out about it. Stay at the school for awhile if you want. Just relax," Julia suggested but I was thinking of the snow that was still coming down. The roads would not be any better if I waited. I just wanted to be home by the fire with my big brave dog to comfort me!

"I think I'm going to go for it."

"Then here," she said as she handed me a container of cinnamon sugar bagel holes, "take these. They will make the drive better. I'm serious! It works."

Armed with my cup of bagel holes I headed back out to my car. As soon as I got my car running and the heat pumping I popped a bagel hole in my mouth and then called my girl, Lauren.

"Hey," she answered.

"It's Michal," I whimpered.

"I know."

"I'm in the school parking lot....sob....because I'm afraid to drive home in the snow! I mean, it was scary enough driving up the mountain and now I have to drive down!"

*More sobbing*

"OK, it'll be OK...you got there safely..." and I honestly can't remember everything she said because I was crying and then laughing because I felt so silly. "Is there someone there you could call who could maybe be more informative about how to drive in those conditions? I mean, I'd be freaking out too."

"No!" *loud sob and laugh* "Caren is working out somewhere down the hill. I don't even know if she is there yet. She could be driving. I'm sorry! I shouldn't of called you. I don't want to worry you. I just needed to cry to someone!"

*More crazy crying and a bagel hole*

"Don't apologize for calling. I'm glad you did I just feel bad that I can't give you any advice or help."

I told her about the windshield wipers.

"I'm going to read the manual before I pull out of here."

"That's a good idea. I can't believe Aaron let you drive that car with out teaching you how first."

"I doubt he knows how to either." With the manual in my hand I started to feel better. "I think I'm better now."

"Good. Will you call me when you get home?"

"Yes."

"I'll be praying for you."

"Thank you."

"OK, be safe. I love you."

"I will. Thanks again. I love you too!"

I ate another bagel hole and thumbed threw the manual until I found the information on the wipers. It's ridiculous. This car has so many features and gadgets. I tried to narrow it down to the important part. The rest I will figure out later....

Low gear...how do I do that?

I read on shifting to low and also learned there is a button I can push for when I was driving in winter conditions. I just couldn't figure out if it was just for certain times or could I keep it on the whole time with out damaging the transmission. I opted not to use that. Besides, it's not the car that will get me home safely but my skills.

I know. Scary, right?

OK God. It's you and me. Surround my car. Give me wisdom. Send your angels to protect me.

With a bagel hole and that prayer, I was off.

I tightly gripped the steering wheel, clenched my teeth and carefully headed down the mountain.

So far so good.

In my rearview mirror I could see another car coming up behind me. I worried about how slow I was going.

Don't worry about that, I heard Caren's voice say, It's better that you take it slow and not worry about other drivers.

I did not change my speed and I noticed the car behind me swerve a bit and then take to the slow pace that I was on. Another car came up behind that one and we all crept on like a funeral procession.

I felt the car slide a bit as we headed down.

Go into Neutral, Caren said.

I obeyed and continued on, recalling Caren's instructions the whole way home.

I finally was on my street.

We did it! I thought to God and to that angel, Caren who was along for the whole ride with me.

Once I was parked in my driveway I sent a text to Aaron, Lauren and Caren:

"HOME!!"

"Wonderful," Lauren's text said. "Now stay there!"

"Oh I will! I'm the worst Mountain Woman ever!"

Thank you Lord! Ug! That was awful. Thank you for keeping me safe and thank you for the support of all my friends.

The Gift Of Season's Greetings

2011-11-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

You know the scene where Charlie Brown keeps peeking into his mailbox to see if he's received any Christmas cards yet? That's me!

I love Christmas cards! I love to send them and I love to get them. They are an essential part of my Holiday decor. Every year I hang them up so that they frame the window in our dining room. We've had 4 houses now and we always have had this arrangement!

After Christmas is over, I carefully collect each one. All of the ones with photos goes into a this box:

When the Holiday rolls around again, we take out all of the decorations and this box is in among them. I set it out on my coffee table. We all have such a good time perusing through them and seeing how everyone has changed and grown.

I just got back from printing out our cards. I've armed myself with a mug of hot water, fine tip pens, address book, and am now ready to address envelopes. I love this part too! Oh! I forgot to buy stamps! I hope they have pretty ones this year...

A Winning Thanksgiving Week

2011-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

As luck would have it, a demon of some sorts took root in my belly last night. I woke up multiple times to kneel before the porcelain throne. This has continued through out the day in all sorts of variations of "fun." I can't tell you how many of my friends have confessed their envy of me. It's a perfect way to end a holiday devoted to eating. I'm pretty sure I will have met my goal with my nutritionist next week. Yea.

This Thanksgiving, as in last, my husband wanted to take on the preparation and roasting of a Turducken. If you are unfamiliar with this Thanksgiving mutation I can break it down for you. It is basically a monstrosity made of turkey that is stuffed with a duck that is stuffed with a chicken. The unfortunate part of Thanksgiving for me is that turkey is the main course. I am not a fan of poultry. My mother was in the Weight Watchers program while we were growing up and it seems the only meat allowed was chicken. We had chicken served to us like Forest Gump would serve up shrimp. Oven fried chicken, Parmesan chicken, chicken pot pie, chicken-a-la-king....you get the picture. I like turkey only a little better then chicken. I like duck not at all.

My husband is very proud of his Turducken. It's quite the feat for any chef. Each bird has to be de-boned. (According to Julia Child the correct term is "boned" but I giggled like a 13 year old boy every time we talked about boning a turkey.) Aaron first made two different types of stuffing. I was not allowed to even help with that part due to last years fiasco with the stuffing. He then de-boned each bird. The chicken was stuffed with one kind of stuffing then placed in the duck and so forth. Everything is then stitched shut.

Our friends, Tiffany and Bryon, were in town this year and so Bryon helped Aaron with some of the work on the Turducken. He also prepared a fried turkey for our feast.

But wait! There's more!

We were all invited to Kevin and Caren's this year. Kevin smoked a turkey and so Iron Chef: Turkey was born.

The day before Thanksgiving, Tiffany got to sample what a Baking Day at Caren's is like. The two of us spent the whole morning at Caren's preparing everything for our meal. Caren and Tiffany made two different stuffing's, two different cranberry relishes, mashed potatoes with various toppings (we had a potato bar), sweet potatoes, and green beans.

I made a pumpkin cheese cake.

When the big day arrived the men presented their turkey's. They were quite the sight!

Turducken

Each was carved and served. The adults all had ballots with criteria to grade the turkeys by. It was a close race but in the end, my beloved's Turducken won. I personally liked the fried turkey best. It was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen but it was juicy and the crisp skin tasted like bacon. Can't go wrong with bacon! Note: the kids liked the smoked the best.

The other part of our Thanksgiving week was to prepare for another annual competition: The Gingerbread House Smack Down. Last year's competition had an at-party-assembly rule. This year had to be modified due to lack of space. There was now the option of assembling your house at home or at the party. Participants would only be competing with in their category. I went the at-home route and enlisted the help of my friend, Tiffany.

We had a great time together and found that we worked well with each other, feeding off of one another's ideas. I would have an idea and then Tiff would either complete it or improve upon it and vice versa. The end result was fabulous!

This year's theme was Santa's workshop:

The other at-home-assembly competitors:

The day before the party I found this super cute candy cane hat. I thought it would be so fun to wear at the competition and so put together this little party outfit:

At the party the kids have a-go at it as well. Caren and I bought a bunch of gingerbread haunted houses on sale after Thanksgiving. We provided these for the kids teams as well as candy and frosting for them to work with. The results were....interesting. Bless their hearts, they did what they could in the 30 minutes they were given to work in.

After the kids were done the adults stepped up to the table. The adults had one hour to work on their creations. (Party Trade Secret: we covered the table with multiple layers of plastic table cloth. After each round was done we simply wadded up the dirtied top cloth and the next round of players was set to go on a new clean plastic cloth! A little Caren Genius...) The competitors this year were more prepared then the last. Many came with their own candies that had inspired them.

My favorite conversation overheard that night:

Dave likes to work with fruit and antique tools..

"The icing is overflowing!"

"Well, get it!"

"I can't! I don't have anything!"

"Just use your hands..."

"I can't!"

"Yes you can. It's icing! Not battery acid!"

The winning house went to Occupy North Pole:

Our other tradition for the Gingerbread House Smack Down is that the winner of the previous year is to add to the trophy so it will grow like the Stanley Cup. I won last year's competition. Here I am with the new improved trophy:

I also won this year's first ever at-home-assembly category and so I now have a new trophy to add on to! Yea!

So that is how my Thanksgiving week went. Lots of fun with lots of friends and lots of food. Now I am sitting here by the fire, wrapped in a Big Ugly sweater, sipping hot water and nibbling on saltines. Just one more stomach flu away from my goal weight...

What A Difference A Year Makes...Or Not

2011-11-16T21:03:00.000-08:00

Baking Day
November 16, 2011
Rating: Productive with a dash of the usual mishaps

We have a Newbie in our group. Another Texas transplant named Stacey. Like I once was, she was feeling sheepishly intimidated by all of the experienced bakers in the kitchen.

"Don't be," I assured her. "I screw it up all the time but things always manage to work out."

It was about this time last year that I was attempting to make a cornbread stuffing for Thanksgiving. It seemed simple enough. I was doubling a recipe. Unfortunately I increased the Baking Powder (or Soda...one of those) too much. Laurel tasted it and tried to make me think it was OK. Caren tasted it and suggested that we scrap the whole batch and start over.

"Toss it over the deck. The birds and squirrels will eat it."

I took the huge pan of cornbread stuffing out to the deck and cried as I sent crumbled chunks of it over the railing.

The next day that I was at Caren's I expected that the crumbs would have all been eaten by some sort of mountain critter.

But no.

And not the next day either.

Or the next.

For nearly a week, the Cornbread Crud littered Caren's side yard and remained untouched.

"Not even the critters will eat it!" I would wail.

Now that I have over a years worth of experience under my apron strings, one would think that I could handle myself quite well in the kitchen. One would think...

Today I attempted to make pumpkin carrot bars from a recipe I got here. I was doing two doubled recipes. Everything was going great with the first batch. There was a lot of tasting as I went and all who dipped a finger agreed that this was going to be a tasty treat! I poured the batter onto a jelly roll pan, popped it into the oven, and began batch #2.

As I began re-reading the recipe I realized that I had not included the dry ingredients into the first batch which was already baking in the oven. Four ingredients! Critical.

There was a lot of good natured chuckling at what has become an expectancy. I can't seem to make it through a Baking Day without some little dink.

"Oh Michal! You make me feel so much better about myself!" ribbed Stacey.

So the jelly roll pan was removed from the oven and dumped back into the bowl. I added the flour, pumpkin spice, baking powder and baking soda (basically everything that makes a cake a cake) that I had previously missed. The jelly roll pan was cleaned, re-greased and floured, and the new batter was poured back in.

Whew! That was a near disaster.

Back to my second batch. This time I paid close attention to all that was called for in the recipe.

Batch 1 was finished and Batch 2 went in.

"Something's burning," announced one of the ladies.

We peeked in the oven to see Batch 2 overflowing onto the floor of the oven. Someone grabbed a cookie sheet and shoved it under the pumpkin bars to catch the spill over.

"Par for the course." I remind them.

"You are handling this so well," Stacey whispered. "I would be in tears at this point."

"Oh, I have and do! After awhile though..."

Laurel's gorgeous buttermilk bread

I helped the ladies with their baking projects, i.e. I tasted things. There were two varieties of cookies, frozen biscuit dough, buttermilk bread, and banana muffins. Batch 1 had turned out pretty good. Everyone agreed that it was a keeper! Batch 2 finally finished. The oven was a bit of a disaster but the pumpkin bars still looked like they would be tasty.

After cleaning the oven I sat back for a salad, fritatta and coffee with home made Bailey's. I enjoyed my lunch and the company of my baking ladies. Someone was discussing their own recipe and the ingredients that went into it. Something was said about butter.

Butter!

It suddenly hit me that I did not include butter in Batch #2.

"Oh no!" I cried.

"What?"

"I forgot the butter!"

There was another round of laughter at my expense.

"You are so entertaining!" Stacey quipped. That is not the first time that has been said of me at a Baking Day. I'm always glad to do so and love to help boost anothers self-esteem. (It turns out that Batch 2 was just as good as Batch 1, so if you want your pumpkin bars to be reduced fat, simply eliminate the butter.)

When Caren's daughter was dropped off from school, she and her friend dove into the baked goods that were spread about the kitchen table. With in minutes of her friend leaving I received a text, "SO DELICIOUS! Can I pretty please get the pumpkin cheese cake bread recipe?"

Validation.

Living On A Prayer

2011-11-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

I had a mild panic attack this morning.

At first I could not figure out what it was, I just felt like I was hopped up on caffeine. My mind was racing and trying to prioritize everything that I needed to get done for the day and that some how leaped into what I needed to get done for Christmas.

I managed to get the kids out the door with little incident. We were waiting at the bus stop when Kevin pulled up with his daughter in the car. The kids got on the bus and Kevin offered me a ride back up the hill.

"Thanks," I said as I got in the car. "Kevin, I am seriously trying not to lose it."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I just feel like I have so much to do but I can't even tell where I should start. I need to get things ready for guests this weekend, there are after school activities every night this week, art projects need to get done...."

"And then we die," Kevin said.

"Huh. Yeah. You're right. I will run around and do all of this stuff and then I'll be dead."

Once at home I went to my desk with paper and pencil.

Lord, this is not OK. Give me peace and perspective.

I took a few deep breaths and just sat quiet for a moment. A few more deep breaths...and then I wrote TODAY at the top of the paper. Under that I wrote everything that I truly needed to accomplish today. Next I wrote WEEK and wrote what needed to be done by the end of the week and this was followed by MONTH. Looking at the list caused a little bit on anxiety to creep up again but then I remembered that I only needed to look at TODAY.

Some friends were meeting me for my walk and I had some time to kill before they came. I focused that time on some of my chores and then cleaned the chalkboard wall.

"Thanksgiving To Do List: clean house, Be Thankful, groceries, Twilight, Be Thankful, finish art projects, laundry, after school activities, cook, Be Thankful."

(Yes, I included Twilight on my To Do list. I gotta see that movie!) I felt better after each golden "Be Thankful" leaf that I added.

And that's what it's all about Charlie Brown.

Peace restored, armed with a To Do list and endorphins pumping through me from my walk, I am now ready to take on my day. And it's 11 a.m. Good grief!

Thank You Veterans!

2011-11-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

"Happy Veteran's Day!" the boys greeted me this morning.

"We have to call Aunt Cathy!"

"You're right we do," I said grabbing my phone.

"And Uncle Isaac, and Uncle Matt..."

"Yes, we will call them all right now and say Thank You," I assured them.

And then we did.

Uncle Matt in his uniform for Gabriel's Marine themed birthday party.

My sister-in-law and my niece saying their Goodbyes.

My brother, Isaac, served in the Navy; as did/does his wife, Cathy. She is a Lieutenant and recently served 9 months, away from her husband and litttle girl, in Iraq. My brother-in-law, Matthew, is an inactive Marine. I can't even tell you how many times he's gone to Iraq and Afghanistan. Lots and lots. Then we have our parents, uncles, and grandparents who have served. The boys come from a long line of heroes. It's no wonder they are so enamored by anything a soldier/warrior does.

Their school puts on an amazing Veteran's Day program every year. Many of the students also have Veterans in their family. They all come and are honored and thanked by the students and staff. It's awesome and there is never a dry eye in the house!

As the boys got ready this morning, Drew marched about the house while singing "It's a Grand Ol' Flag" at the top of his lungs. Gabriel carefully donned his Boy Scout unifrom since he and his fellow scouts would be part of the flag ceremony in the program.

We are so blessed to be Americans. With all her flaws our country is still a place where freedom reigns. We are all so fortunate. Fortunate to be born here. Fortunate, that if you weren't born here, that you are here now. Fortunate to be sharing freedom with one another.

Thank you so much to all who have served. Thank you to those who have stayed home while their loved one was far away taking care of us all. Thank you to those who answer the call and I pray for the ones who make The Call that they do so sparingly, fearfully and wisely.

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas And Other Fun Gift Ideas

2011-11-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas, I have decided to buy all of my gifts from small business owners. Several thoughts/ideas have brought me to this conclusion:

1. Caren has been on a rampage (for at least as long as I've known her) over how many products are made in China. Since we often shop together, it has been brought to my attention numerous times. What's most frustrating about it is that there will be American created products, i.e. the product was thought of here, invented here; but then it is produced in China. It's cheaper for these American companies to have the Chinese make it for them but at what cost to our own economy and to our own citizens? Caren's goal, at this point, is not even necessarily to Buy American but to just not buy Chinese. Even Ugg boots are made in China now. Come on World!

2. This whole Occupy Wall Street thing has gotten me to thinking too. Let me make it clear that I believe in Capitalism. It is good and it works. Money is power and power corrupts but I am all about a free economy. There are kinks and Jerks that get into every system especially when money is involved. If one really wants to give it to Wall Street they need to make their voices heard. Money talks much louder then any number of people sitting outside of the Trade Center. If you want to stick it to big corporations then don't buy from them. Seek out local artisans and craftsman so you know that your money is going directly into the pocket of your fellow American. These small business owners went into business because they know that capitalism works.

So stay out of WalMart, Target and the mall! (I can hardly stand the mall at Christmas anymore. Greedy, selfish hoards in stores proclaiming their Season's Greetings in flat political correctness. Blah!

Instead consider some of these things:

A gift certificate for a salon appointment. My sister, Dawn The Hair Extraordinaire, does amazing things with a pair of shears! She lives in Austin, TX and works at a local barber shop there. She does great hair for men, women and children and she can even go to your home. Maybe you know someone who could use a whole new look or you can treat them to hair and make up before a big event, like New Year's Eve. A girls night of make-overs would be a fun thing as well! You can contact Dawn at dawndawn@gmail.com.

Another great gift (and Austin contact) is that of professional photography with April Thomason. She has an amazing eye and whimsically romantic style! A fun idea may be to hire Dawn to do your hair and make up before your photo shoot with April... I might also add that Dawn and April both have connections in Houston and it's surrounding areas and so can often be convinced to do work out there.

I love my masseuse! No one has better hands then Jolene!! So for my local friends, here in CO, I would highly recommend gift certificates from Willow Creek Wellness. An hour massage is a great gift for a teacher, friend, or spouse. A REALLY great gift would be a massage, once a week for a month... OH yeah....I can smell the aroma therapy oils now... Jolene can be contacted at wcreekwellness@gmail.com.

There are fun things to be found at The Perfect Stitch as well. Stacey embellishes shirts, bags, onsies, etc with beautiful embroidery and bling-bling work. You can see more of her crafts here.

Do you live in the Dallas/Plano area and need treats for your party? Sugar Queen Cupcakes will take care of you! A fun gift idea may be a gift card to Sugar Queen for an after school date with your kiddos! They have more than cupcakes there. You can find fun t-shirts and gifts. Plus they are the home of the Official Cupcake of Texas! ;)

Check out this little shop! Don't they have the greatest things! Southern Joy is based in Tennessee. They are an eco-friendly gift shop that boasts beautiful hand crafted jewelry, spa gifts and more! I am in love with their jewelry.

This reminds me...shop Etsy, people! http://www.etsy.com/ This is a huge resource of handmade gifts. Here is a fun etsy shop with cheeky little accesories: Leilani's Heavenly Flowers

I plan to hit local boutiques and specialty stores like Rustic Point in Evergreen. Conifer and Morrison have all sorts of fun shops to explore. Back home in Texas, I used to love to shop around in Downtown Tomball and Old Town Spring.

A great source for stocking stuffers is Hammonds Candies. Hammonds is a candy factory in Denver, CO. They are a small factory that makes all of their beautiful and delicious candies by hand! You don't have to go to Denver to find Hammond's Candies. They have been featured in O! magazine, Martha Stewart and other similar periodicals. They are the largest company featured here but I think they qualify because everything his American made and they are a small company compared to say...Macy's, though you may find some Hammond's Candies at Macy's....

Another wonderful shopping idea is at places that take what you give them and give a part of the proceeds to a charity. Sevenly sells cool t-shirts that sponsor a different cause a week. Freedom Fashionista's website reads, "Every girl wants amazing style. Explore our sustainable fashions and let your new style sense provide empowerment and employment for women rescued from or at-risk for slavery." Check out their cute PJs here. In fact this link is devoted to listing the various sites where one can by gifts that help fund anti-human trafficking programs. These gifts go way beyond the boughs of your Chritmas tree and branches out service to the world.

Gift cards to Mom and Pop restaurants are another great idea. The gift of landscaping, personal trainers, the ideas are endless! If you have a small business that you'd like to plug, please feel free to do so in the comments. I'm looking for good ideas.... Heck, I suppose I could plug myself: Decorator/Party Planner/Custom Art ;)

I love Christmas! No matter how it got started or what it evolved from, I love that the world takes time out of the year to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. No birthday party is complete with out gifts and buying your gifts from small businesses gives two fold: to your loved one and to your neighboring entrepenuer.

A few more ideas:

paino lessons s.eby699@gmail.com
contract work for your home kippandsons@hotmail.com
dog training cboothwest@gmail.com

Just Do It!

2011-11-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had an appointment with my nutritionist. While getting ready to go I realized that I had not been missing my scale anymore. I went from weighing myself 3 times a day to once a day to once a week and now to once every two-three weeks! I don't have a scale in my home and I am happy/fine with out it. I have lost a total of 10 lbs. and am 3 lbs. away from my personal goal weight of 135. (I have not stepped foot in a gym!) The doctor would like me to loose 5-8 lbs. more but we have discussed that I have been at 135 in the past and watched my diet and exercised 5 times a week and can never budge past 135. He's agreed with me that 135 and healthy is better then 130 and not. We will not be going through any extreme measures to get me to a certain number.

At the weigh in yesterday I found that I had not lost any weight the past two weeks. However, I also did not gain any! I feel fabulous and beautiful! Still...to deter diabetes I need to lose this last little bit.

"You don't seem surprised that there was no weight loss," my nutritionist prodded.

"Well let's see...I had fast food twice and ate out once in the past two weeks. There was a Halloween party and I had Starbucks coffee about 3 times this week. I only walked about 4 times in two weeks. So I ate less healthy and had less exercise then I have been doing in the past."

"Well, that happens. We start to feel good and comfortable, plus life is busy and so short cuts are made. I know with the snow and cold walking your 3 mile loop may not seem as appealing right now. What are some other ways you can up the ante on your exercise routine?"

"I just started taking tap dance classes."

"Oh that's great! How often will that be?"

"Only one hour a week. Of course I could tap at home too..."

"Don't you have a gym membership?"

"I do...it's one of those 24 hour type places. I'm not a fan."

"Three times a week of exercise is great for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Studies show that in order to see a change in weight loss you need to exercise 4 times a week. Also resistance training helps burn more calories."

"I love weight training. I used to do that all the time."

"See if you can't find a way to work that into your weekly routine."

I'm going to lay it out for you guys in case you want to join me in this. Remember that none of it works until you conquer your own mind. Once you get your head in the game it all falls into place. (Rather, it all falls off!)

First I kept a food log for my nutritionist which revealed to me how often and what exactly I eat. Passing a plate of cookies and having just one is fine but when you pass the plate 4-5 times a day...it adds up. So awareness of your diet is key. I became aware that sweets were actually not my weakness, as I thought. I don't keep sweet snacks in my house because I thought that was my go-to and I did not want to be tempted. What was really getting me was the salty things! So another round of pantry purging had to be done. Also, I need to add more vegetables. Still.

Next was continuing the food log but using a calorie counter. I used www.sparkpeople.com. I could enter my food and it counted each calorie. Note: you don't just enter: Turkey Sandwich. Enter the type of bread you used. Whole or half sandwich, type of turkey, cheese and condiments. Try to keep your calories within 1500-1700 a day. You'd be surprised by how much you can eat. Don't forget to include beverages. They have calories too. (Also, the amount of calories allotted to me was chosen by my nutritionist based on my weight loss goal and current size. This may not be the same for you but if you are about 5 feet tall and way 148 lbs. this would work. I don't know, because I am not a nutritionist, but I think 1500-1700 would be healthy for most people.) Nothing was restricted from my diet. I ate/eat whatever I want so long as it stays within my caloric intake.

Exercise! Grrr....nobody likes this and if you are overweight, chances are you really don't enjoy it nor do you see time for it in your daily routine. Here is where the battle with your mind begins. You have to decide that you want it enough. Boy did I want it! I cried every appointment with my nutritionist. I cried every time I got dressed, showered, saw my reflection. I was disgusted with myself and yet I could still not change my habits. Ridiculous! At some point you have to grow up, take responsibility and JUST DO IT! Thanks Nike. Burning calories is more effective then cutting them, though both are key. However, if you need to start somewhere let it be in the BURN.

My nutritionist said that the most effective way to lose weight is to move your biggest muscles, i.e. your legs. Most all of us can walk. So make time to walk. I have a beautiful and hilly 3 mile hike in my neighborhood that I can walk. Three miles is a lot if you are just starting. One mile is excellent! I was not in bad shape though and knew I could walk that loop and climb the hills and I knew I would get awesome results by doing so. I had hoped to do it 5 times a week. In reality I walked 2-3 times a week. Sometimes I would do other hikes. I would invite friends along or take my dog.

I was also fortunate enough to be dancing in Evita and that helped, I'm sure! One of my cast mates had a pedometer and she counted that we walked a mile every performance. We performed 3 times a week so that was an extra 3 miles I was getting in. A pedometer is a great way to help you keep track of moving even if you can't walk a trail or on a treadmill. You can set a goal and try to beat it every day. A good goal is to not go to bed with less then 10,000 steps taken. (3,000 is a mile....if I remember correctly.)

Moving is key. Find ways to move. I do squats in my shower. 30 squats. Whenever I think about my weight/health/body I would drop and do 30 push ups. Another time I would do 30 crunches. Just move! It does not have to be a one hour set of working out. You can find a minute here and there to do a little something extra. Take the stairs. Walk to the mailbox instead of drive up to it. Park farther away from the store. These things really add up.

Sometimes life is crazy...OK, most times life is crazy...and we don't have time for a nice wholesome meal. One night I had to take both boys to scouts at two different times and then drive to the airport to pick up my sister. Quick meal solution this night was Wendy's drive through. Not a gold star on my nutritionists chart BUT you can not beat yourself up and feel bad about it and you can STILL make smarter choices.

"Could you get a salad from a fast food place?" my nutritionist would ask me.

"No. The salads are usually made with gross sad lettuce and if I'm going to buy a salad it needs to be delicious! I'm getting a burger and fries."

Some places, like Wendy's, give you a small, med, large option. I don't know how big med and large are because I always ask for small and it seems like quite a bit of food and drink to me. The small cup is the old large! Anyways, get smaller orders when you can. Maybe even go for the kids meal so you get less fries. In another bind I ordered a Chick-fil-a meal to SPLIT with my sister. It's plenty. So avoid the drive through but when you can't be smart about it.

Same with restaurants. You can ask for the to-go box at the beginning of your meal. Put half of your meal away and out of sight. Eat smaller portions of everything. At home, use a salad plate to serve your meal on. Portion out the same amount you would give to your child (a young child). Eat slow and savor every bite. Enjoy your food! Assess your body's needs mid way through the meal. Are you satisfied/full? Then stop. Plan ahead. Is there dessert? Eat less of the main meal so you have room for it. That's right! Don't deny yourself dessert. Are you crazy?!

Another important habit to get into is to change your vocabulary. Food is not "bad" or "naughty" or "wrong" (unless you are talking about McDonald's.) There is a good, better, best thing going on for sure but don't call your temptations naughty. Somehow, that makes them even more tempting! Also, be careful how you talk about yourself. You are not trying to get skinny or look prettier, you are getting healthy. Believe me, I would not be stopping at 135/130 if I was wanting to get skinny. but that is a healthy weight for me and I will keep diabetes at bay.

"I feel fat," I often say.

"Fat is not a feeling," Caren will tell me. "You can feel happy or sad but not fat."

Watch your vocabulary!!! It's a huge part in conquering your mind and getting yourself in a place where you can start to lose weight and get healthy. Also, let go of the numbers. You are not a number. How do you feel (health wise)? My clothes are baggier, I feel happier and stronger. Healthy living makes a happy person.

The goal is to lose one pound a week. This is a reasonable and healthy goal. I know there are ways to lose 3-6 lbs. a week. I've done them. They don't last. Lasting weight loss goes away slowly. Also, the most frustrating thing about the Battle Of The Bulge is that it takes a whole week to lose one pound but it only takes one meal to gain it back.

This has/is helping me and I hope it helps you. My nutritionist has done little but hold me accountable and reiterate what we all already know about health and nutrition. If you need accountability I'd be happy to help you with it but find someone to check in with on your state of mind, food log, and weight loss.

I'm in a MUCH better place physically and mentally. I still have a ways to go and I know this last 3-5 is going to be the hardest (and the holidays are approaching...) but I feel much more confident and I know it can be done. You can do it too!!

Brat Attack

2011-11-06T12:40:00.000-08:00

I think it was sometime Friday afternoon that I realized we had nothing going on this weekend. I was out having lunch with the ladies when it hit me that the boys were done with soccer and football. We had no sporting events to attend to. No Holiday. No party. No show. It sounded really nice! We could just relax, hang out with the neighbors, maybe take a hike. Just family stuff.

The vision of Family Fun Time fizzled when I got home. My house has been a wreck all week. I've slowly chiseled away at the various Clutter Catchers through out the week but between Halloween, school activities, and my own procrastination, very little actually got accomplished. Though I had repeatedly pleaded with my sons to put their Halloween candy away, it was still spread out on the pub table in the basement. This same table was nesting in a pile of snow pants, coats, Halloween costume accessories, and candy wrappers.

The laundry room had several baskets of dirty clothes needing attention which baffles me since I did at least one load a day. Clean laundry was folded in neat piles on the laundry room counter waiting for someone to carry them up stairs and deposit them in their appropriate drawers.

The bathroom had another full hamper of towels and clothes waiting for me, (How?) and since the upstairs bathroom is under construction; my cosmetics, hair brush and Aaron's electric razor sat out on the counter. Not to mention: toothpaste splatter on the mirror, in the sink and on the tissue box holder.

"Boooooys!" I growled under my breath.

This was just the downstairs. Upstairs was another carousel of disarray as every place I turned and every room I walked into I found more mess to clean up. The scene for my relaxing weekend with my family was certainly not set, and they were due home in a matter of minutes.

Actually, Aaron is usually home by now... Aaron is often home early on Friday afternoons. Typically he beats the boys home but sometimes he meets them at the bus stop.

I worked on cleaning up the kitchen in the time that I had and had a thought that I had made no plans for dinner that night. I checked the fridge and found there were plenty of leftovers but hoped that Aaron would want to take the family out instead. Thinking of Aaron, I checked the clock.

The boys' bus will be here soon...where is Aaron?

I headed down to meet the boys.

"Mom! Why didn't you bring the car?!" Drew greeted me in his usual way.

"Because the walk is good for us."

"Maybe Dad will pull up..." Drew hoped.

But Dad did not pull up.

We went home and talked about the days events. Then we talked about the condition of the house.

"Fellas, nothing is happening this weekend until that Halloween candy is put away."

"We are sorting it into categories!" Gabriel explained.

"You can sort them into Ziplocs and then bring them to me. Also, every wrapper on the floor needs to go in the trash. All snow gear needs to go in the mud room. That's what that room is for! After that I want your room cleaned. I am tired of not being able to walk through with out stubbing a toe or stepping on a toy."

"Why do we have to do everything?" Drew groused.

"Boy, that is not the thing to say to me today..." I warned.

I got the boys gallon sized Ziplocs and they set to work on cleaning up the candy. I finished up on the kitchen and then got the dining and living room back in order.

At least things will be clean up stairs. I can start another load of laundry and then close that door, clean the bathroom....sweeping, vacuuming, dusting can be done tomorrow.

I got all of this done and then realized that it was very near dinner time. Aaron was still not home.

He must've gone out with his co-workers.

I made the boys some leftovers and went to practice my piano. Time was going by and still no husband. I sent him a text, poured myself a glass of wine and sat back down at the piano. I kept looking at my phone, waiting for a response from him. I examined my phone again, this time expecting a call from the hospital.

He must've been in a car wreck. What will I do? How should I tell the kids? We would bury him in Texas... Get a grip. He's at a noisy restaurant and can't hear his phone. It should be on vibrate! Call him. No. Don't. If he's with co-workers you don't want him to look like he's whipped. Screw that. If he didn't want that to happen then he should've called ME and given me a heads up on his plans. I'm calling him.

And so I did.

"I just got in the car and am headed your way," he said.

When Aaron got home he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. Greetings and niceties were exchanged.

"So, you went out with co-workers after work?"

"Yeah, I took some of the younger guys out. I needed to do some damage control for management. These kids have no idea what it's like at other companies."

"Well, that's good."

Pause.

"I don't mind you going out after work, but you need to let me know. Otherwise I start to worry. Knowing is half the battle."

"Thanks GI Joe."

"I'm serious," I laughed.

"I know. Sorry."

We put the kids to bed. Aaron went down to watch something on TV and I played solitaire on the computer.

The next morning I was ready for our weekend of Family Fun to start.

"Drew has been wanting to go to the Aquarium or to Red Rocks. I thought that would be fun for us to do this weekend," I told Aaron over breakfast.

He sucked in his breath and and looked at his food.

Not what he had in mind...

"What sort of plans did you have for the weekend?" I asked him.

"I really need to get my ski pass, gear and I still need to go and look at a 4 wheel drive for you. The snow is already coming and you need to be able to get around."

I knew these were things that he's been trying to get off his To Do List for awhile. These things would take up the whole weekend. They would be most quickly accomplished if Aaron went by himself which meant I would be home with the kids. Or we could all go together and I would try to engage and entertain the kids the whole time we tagged along with Aaron. Basically, this sounded like a seriously crappy weekend to me.

"OK. I know you've been needing to get these things done."

"First I'm going to work out."

"OK."

Aaron left and I started to get back to work on the house. My heart was hardly in it. I don't want to clean house on the weekend! As I was berating myself for not planning better the phone rang. It was one of Caren's daughters inviting the boys and I over for a tea party.

"We are on our way!" I chimed as I tossed the broom back into the pantry.

While at the tea party Caren invited me to go to her eldest daughter's volleyball game.

"I probably can't. I really need to get my house in order and Aaron has plans to go ski and car shopping."

"Again? How many times has he said he was getting a car?"

"I know but he's found one he wants to go pick up."

"Get the car tomorrow and he can do the ski shopping today."

"That's a good idea..." I had already put the house work on the back burner and was scheming to see if I could get out of shopping.

Aaron was fine with the new plan and I ran off with my playmate.

Caren and I sat in the bleachers watching the girls warm up when she got a text from her husband asking her out on a date that night. This totally bummed me out because I was hoping our families would hang out together that evening and also because I was not being asked out on a date.

"Call your sitter and then ask Aaron out," Caren suggested.

Easy for you to say. YOU have a date. I'm not arranging my own date.

I went home, put out with Aaron because Caren's husband asked her out on a date. I totally knew how unfair and unreasonable this was but that changed nothing. I had made no plans for dinner once again because in my imagination we would be going out.

That's not fair. You can't be mad at him because you want to go on a date. He has no idea and he can't read minds. Don't be one of THOSE women. But he should be missing time alone with me and WANT to take me on a date. Of course it could be that you have not had a date in a long time because you've been singing and dancing in Evita for weeks. He's laying on the couch, tired because you sent him to the store with the kids. He took them out for lunch so he will definitely not want to go out now.

Emotions and Logic argued as I did the dishes. Aaron came up stairs for a snack and bevvy.

"You OK?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong...?" he asked un-fooled.

"Nothing."

"Right."

"Lot's of things but it's not reasonable and it's not all you," he pulled me from the dishes and wrapped me in a hug. "Kevin asked Caren out on a date," I pouted.

"Ah ha..."

"It's been a long time since we've gone out."

"No it hasn't..." We both started trying to figure out when we last went out. "I took you to NY!" Aaron exclaimed.

"You did. That was our last date. That was 3 months ago."

"Seriously? Man! You're right. I need to do something about that."

"Yes you do."

"You're still out of sorts."

"I'm mad at myself because I'm mad at you and it's not all your fault. My weekends were booked for a month with Evita and then again with the Beer and Cheese Pairing party and Halloween and stuff."

"That's right!" Aaron smiled with vindication.

"And the house is a disaster."

"You need to elicit the help of the kids more. They don't do anything except clean their room."

"Yeah! I used to fold clothes, clean the bathroom, do the dishes...Wonder how old I was when I started all of that?"

I went back to cleaning the kitchen and then had an idea. I found Aaron in his office.

"Here's how things are going down tonight:" I told him, making it clear so he would not have to read my mind. "Let's put the kids down ASAP. Light a fire downstairs. We will get in warm PJ's and watch the Netflix movie I've got."

"Sounds like a plan."

This morning I was still wanting to have a special day with my family. I took a plum cake, that we made at Baking Day, out from the freezer and started it baking while I made a huge pan of scrambled eggs and a pot of coffee for Aaron. The oven beeped announcing that the plum cake was through. I took the foil off the top and drove a knife into the middle. It was still a little moist in the center. I put the cake back in the oven, uncovered. We ate our eggs while the cake cooked a little longer. I removed the cake again when I could smell a little bit of a burning smell...

"Dang it," I spit as I set the foil pan on the stove. "I should not have left it uncovered."

"Looks good," Aaron said, looking over my shoulder. Because the top was uncovered the edges had slightly burned.

"Burnt edges...No wonder I can't get a date. Messy house, unplanned dinners, burnt food....you are sooo lucky."

I stuck the knife through to check the center again but stuck it too far and went through the bottom of the pan!

"Arrrgh!" I growled again as I quickly grabbed a cookie sheet and slid it under the oozing cake. "So lucky!"

"I am," he laughed. "I think that every morning that I wake up next to you."

The Fury Of A Feline Scorned

2011-11-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

Every Halloween there is a trailer that picks up all of the kids and takes them house to house. We parents follow behind on foot, four wheeler or truck. This year the trailer stopped at a house that nests in a valley. There was an avalanche of princesses, warriors, ghouls, and fairies; down the driveway toward the warmly lit house.

"Lord, let me never forget this moment!" I prayed aloud. My heart captured the moment and stored it away with other Life Treasures.

The above has nothing to do with today's blog but has been twirling about my mind all week and so I thought I'd share it. Halloween was super fun! The boys had a grand time and we parents enjoyed one another's fellowship as we paraded behind them. What I really wanted to write about is a follow up on my cat Sinclaire.

As my readers know she left us. We thought her dead but 2 months later found her weaving through the tall brown grass of our neighbors yard. I beckoned to her but she played dumb. The cat obviously knows how to get home but has chosen a new abode.

Her new home is that of a recently widowed woman whom the neighborhood calls "Mom." (Did I use "whom" right? "Who" sounded weird...) Mom is the owner of the horses Stormy and Trigger; nemesis' of our dog Drake. I find it to be no coincidence that Sinclaire has chosen them as allies since Drake is her reason for leaving.

Whenever we drive by Mom's yard the kids beg me to drive slowly in hopes of catching a glimpse of our cat playing in the yard. I decided that I really should have words with Mom so that she is not worried about the creepers who keep stalking by her house.

One day as I picked the boys up from the bus stop, a truck pulled into her driveway. I followed it in. Surprised and wondering faces emerged from the truck.

"Hi!" I cheerily called, "I'm your neighbor from up the hill!"

"Michelle?" Mom guessed.

"No, but very good! It's Michal. I met you and your husband once before when we first moved in. I was sorry to hear of his passing."

"Thank you."

"I actually have stopped by to tell you sort of a funny story. You see, we had a cat that left us about 2 months ago..."

"Oh!" Mom gasped and her eyes darted to who I later learned was her daughter. (Her son-in-law had already parted us and gone to the barn to tend to the horses.)

"We have seen her playing in your yard..."

"I suppose you want her back," she said as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Actually, no. Though we love her, it seems she has chosen to not return home. It would not be difficult for her to do so!" I went on to tell Mom about our new dog and the riff it's caused. "We are relieved to learn that she is not actually dead as we had thought but alive and well with you!"

"I love her dearly. She has been such great company!"

"Yeah, she's a talker!"

"Oh she is! Would you like to see her?" At that, she opened the front door. "Sissy! Come here Sissy!"

Out skipped "Sissy" who greeted Mom with chatter while weaving between her legs.

"Well hello Sinclaire!" I said to my cat. I swear to you she stopped mid-weave and looked at me in horror.

No! They've come for me! was written all over her face. She hid behind Mom's legs like a shy toddler.

"Don't freak out you ungrateful thing! I'm not bringing you back. It's clear you've made your choice and it's a good match."

"Are you sure the boys are OK by it?" Mom asked with a nod toward my sons.

"Yes," Drew said, "It's good to see Sinclaire smile again."

"She's a good fit here," added Gabriel. "We'd be happy for you to keep her."

"You can come and see her whenever you'd like," offered Mom.

"Yes, I did not come to take her back or to tell you so you'd feel bad but mostly I did not want you to be scared because we keep driving slowly by your house to get a look at her. I find it fascinating, really."

"Well thank you so much!"

"Come here kitty...." I got down and beckoned to her so I could pet her. She stayed close to Mom and then finally approached me. I pet her a bit and then picked her up for a snuggle.

It's a lie! She really is going to take me!

Sinclaire wiggled and wriggled until I put her down and she ran off.

"There she goes to the barn," Mom commentated. "She loves to sit with the horses."

"I'm sure she does..." I could just picture the three of them commiserating and plotting against Drake.

We went on swapping stories about our cat. It seems that everything I would not allow Sinclaire to do in our home (jump on counters, drink from faucets and cups, etc) Sissy has full permission to do at Mom's. In short she is in Hog Heaven!

"Thank you so much for letting mom keep her," her daughter whispered to me as she walked us to the end of the drive. "Sissy has been a real blessing and comfort to Mom since Dad died this Spring."

"When we saw that she'd been living here we thought the same thing! We figured she was being loved and keeping her company. This is so much better then wondering if she'd been eaten by something!"

I'm so glad to know she is safe. Happy that she is bringing joy to someones life and home. Bitter that she left us. How dare!

Room to Breathe

2011-10-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night I went to bed at 10, woke up at 1, read until 3:30 and then had this crazy nightmare:

I was stuck in traffic when three guys jumped into my car and ordered me into the back seat. One guy was rummaging through my purse while another was checking out my cell phone.

"Take my purse, my car, whatever you'd like," I told them.

"Do you have kids?"

"Yes."

"What do you do?"

"I stay home."

"How can you stay home and afford this nice car?"

Next thing I know I'm in a house in the middle of some subdivision. The whole house is full of women. Some of the ladies were sitting out on the back patio very relaxed.

"How can you just be relaxing like this? We out number our captors. We can get organized and break out of here!" I said.

One worn out woman took a drag on her cigarette and let her smoke out as she said, "they actually take pretty good care of us here. It's kind of nice really."

I went into the house where the rooms teemed with more women. I suddenly realized that the boys would be getting home from school soon and that Aaron was out of town. I had to call and make sure my bases were covered at home. I found the House Hostess.

"Look, I know this isn't jail but I need to make at least one phone call. My kids are going to be home unattended."

"Oh, sure. You can make as many phone calls as you'd like. That's how we make our money."

I found the old rotary in the corner of the breakfast table. I wanted to call Aaron or Caren but did not know their numbers because they were on my cell phone. I dialed my mother's "real life" phone number and it rang at my "real life" house. (Make sense?)

"This is Drew."

"Drew! Hey baby! It's Mommy! I'm so sorry I'm not there! There is an emergency though and so I need you to go tell Mrs. Caren to call Daddy and tell him to return home."

"Mrs. Caren is here," Drew said.

Thank goodness! I'm sure Caren is wondering where I am and why I did not make plans for someone to tend to the kids.

"Let me talk to her Drew!"

Drew gave Caren the phone.

In a groggy and thick voice Caren answered with: "I'm really sick..."

"Oh no! I'm sorry you don't feel well and I'm sorry you are having to watch my kids but listen, I've been kidnapped! I need you to call Aaron and have him come home."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! Please call Aaron and I'm so sorry again that you are stuck with the kids."

After getting off the phone I watched some ladies break the front window to make a hole. One lady crawled through to see if one could fit through it and then she came back in.

She was out and free. Why did she come back in?

Then I saw my friend Christina.

"Huh. Fancy seeing you here," I say to her.

"I know, right?" she seemed just as confused.

I became belligerent and loud about getting out and going home. One of the "bad guys" somehow made me bite the end of a pen and I immediately felt the effects of some drug. I fought the effects of the drug and then wailed punches on the man who then hit me so hard he knocked me back into my conscious and was awake.

It's was 5:30.

I laid there reviewing the dream and trying to shake off the fear that gripped me. I found it amusing that while I was in peril I apologized to Caren for having to keep the kids.

So typical of a woman.

The dream was obviously about domesticity. I love and am blessed to be a Stay Home Mom and I'm very happy in it. I do wish I was able to be more involved in musical theater which is why I guess Christina was "trapped" in the house with me. (She is currently on a national tour of The Heights, lucky broad.) I could peel and dissect that whole dream (so much symbolism) but I won't.

I called a girlfriend of mine today:

"How you doin'?" I asked.

*Sigh* "It's been a really rough morning," she confessed. "My daughter had a 'Five Alarm' in the middle of the store today in front of some of our friends. I tried to calm her down but everything I did only made it worse until we were both screaming at each other. It was awful!"

"Girl I've been there! In fact this morning I dropped the F-Bomb on the boys."

"YOU?!"

"Oh yeah. I said 'I'm so fucking tired of always being late.' Only I didn't say it like that. I screamed it. I screamed the F-word at my sons."

"Really? That's great! Now I don't feel so bad."

"Yeah, it's not us. It's them," I joked. "I felt so bad and had to apologize of course. Let me just say they were perfect the whole ride to school and Drew thanked me again for making his Halloween costume. Every morning I give them a 10 minute warning for Go Time. I walk through the house reminding them of everything they need to have. Shoes? Back pack? Coat? They say they got it all and then as I'm grabbing the keys someone yells, 'wait mom! I can't find my shoes!' It takes those boys 200 years to get out the door. The thing that gets me is that I have good kids. Really good kids. Can you imagine the terror I would be if they were jerks? I would be spending time at bars more then coffee shops that's for sure!"

"After 'The Incident' the cashier greeted me and I just started crying. She and another woman said they totally understood."

"Of course they do! Everyone's kids act like a turd at some point and every one of us handle it poorly at LEAST once. Good Lord, I can't tell you how often I've had to apologize to my kids. Boo... But we can't beat ourselves up about it. We gotta dust ourselves off and try again."

"Thank you so much for telling me your story! It has made me feel so much better!"

Ladies, Mommies, get real. We can't do it all and we can't always do it right. We've got to be kinder to ourselves. Strive to do your best and have grace for youself when you miss the mark. We will go crazy trying to be a "Disney Mom" all the time. We are real women and real people screw up.

It meant so much to my friend to hear how badly I behaved this morning that I thought I'd share it with all of you. It was not a proud moment, to be sure, but I hope it gives you room to breathe.

Tempting...

2011-10-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of Drake I could bust! Drake is 3 years old now and is 90 lbs of muscle! If you are new to my tales of Drake he is not a weight lifting toddler but our Labrador/Rottweiler that we adopted last Christmas. He came into our lives full of love, mostly well mannered and with a taste for cat.

Drake tried to eat our cat, Sinclaire, on about Day 2 of joining the family. He also ate several dog beds, broke into our house and the neighbors house (repeatedly) and would drag me down the hill on our walks. Literally, it would be like water skiing down the gravel hill as I dug my heels in and Drake pulled/pressed on.

The first time I took him for a walk he was at heel the whole time and he ignored distractions like other dogs, horses, and wildlife. It seemed he had been trained in his previous life. Each walk progressively got worse as Drake realized that I did not know all of the rules. He became more bold at home as well, eating things off of the counter and the like.

Our walks became much more challenging. He would break off leash to chase deer or foxes or whatever. The deer were especially challenging for Drake to ignore because they were like Meals On The Run for him. The dog is a natural hunter. I think he would be awful to hunt with because he does not want to flush out critters he wants to take them down himself. He has come close many, many times. It's both terrifying and breathtaking all at the same time. Kind of like watching an episode of Wild Kingdom! It's a problem though. It puts me in danger and himself as well.

I tried a pincher collar.

Fail.

I tried a harness.

Fail.

I tried The Gentle Leader and it seemed to work but then...

Fail.

After being dragged down a hill on my ass for Drake to break into my neighbors horse corral I finally gave up and called a trainer.

As soon as Christine walked in the door she immediately had Drake under her control. As I said, it seems that he's had training and he could tell that Christine knew the rules. He was always so perfect for her. He was either a genius level fast learner or he was smart enough to know who to behave for and who he could manipulate. (That would be me, BTW)

Christine came every weekend and Drake quickly learned to walk at heel, not jump to greet, and various tricks. I learned how to distract him from the wildlife, what words to use to calm him, and what leash and collar system would work best (and believe me...it's quite the system). We also did some training with the cat. It went really well as we were able to have Drake and Sinclaire in the same room with out him trying to eat her! (Though, I don't think Sinclaire thought it went so well. I am sure that was the day that she vowed to leave. She spent several days after scoping out a knew home for herself and then, the day before we left for a trip to NY, she packed her bags and walked away. I'd like to think she looked back a time or two at the home of those who cared for her for 12 years...but I doubt it.)

The day finally came when Christine announced that there was nothing more to do with Drake and that the leash was now in my hands. I have not walked Drake everyday as I should. I'm still very intimidated. Call me crazy but I just don't like wrestling with a 90 lb. beast nor do I relish the idea of being dragged down a mountainside. I've bit the bullet though, and have taken Drake on his walks, when fear does not get the best of me.

One such walk was with my brother-in-law, Matt. Drake was walking beautifully. I usually have two hands on the leash but dropped one so that I could respond to a text message. At that exact moment Drake happened to spot a deer and he took off. Matt kept calling for Drake and I just stood there, dejected and angry with myself for not paying enough attention.

"Well," I sighed, "let's just finish the walk and then get the car and go looking for him."

Just then Drake came bounding back and hopped into a heel at my side. I took up the leash and we finished our walk. I gave that walk a B- because had he not went after the deer it would've been an A+.

We have a huge snow fall about to be dumped on us this week and so I wanted to get my walk in before then. I strapped Drake's body harness on and then his Gentle Leader (told you it's a system) and we headed out to the bus stop with the boys. As we neared the bottom of the hill I saw a herd of about 6 deer.

"Gabriel, run ahead and scare the deer off for me, will you?"

I turned Drake back up the hill so we were behind a bush and he would not see them running. I put him in a sit/stay and caressed his face while I gave the command for "calm." Then I point to my eye and say "watch" and he stared at my eyes until I released him from it.

Good. I still have his attention and he's in a frame of mind to obey.

The deer did run off but only to the hill across the street. I couldn't keep hiding with Drake and so we walked on down to the bus stop to wait with the boys. Drake quickly spotted the deer. His ears were thrust forward, forehead wrinkled and body poised in full alert.

"Drakers! Drakers, sit."

He sat. Haunches twitching.

"Drake...calm..." I caressed his face.

His butt came back up off of the ground. I wrapped the leash around my waist. Most of the deer were pretty much out of sight but one stood right smack in the middle of the hill and kept making a a chirp/barking sound.

Drake eventually sat and the boys and I gave him loads of love for his good behavior and in hopes that it would keep him uninterested in the deer. Drake was still very heightened but he never even lunged in the deer's direction!

The bus finally came. I loaded the boys and then Drake and I continued our walk. His pace was brisk today and he stopped to smell a lot. The run in with the deer at the bus stop had him riled up! We made it through the walk and I was feeling pretty good about things. I was so proud of Drake and I! As we got to our road that herd of deer were back at the bus stop!

Crap.

I wrapped the leash around my waist again. I grabbed onto Drake's body harness and then decided that we would just keep on and take the second entrance as our house is on a loop. Drake whined and pulled a bit but he obeyed and we continued past the deer. Seriously, you have no idea how huge a fete this was! (See Stags and Studs) Once past the temptation I released the harness and unwound the leash just as I finished this process we came up on the second entrance which had about 4 loitering Doe's.

Seriously?!

I took a minute to assess my options. Bear Hunt came to mind.

Can't go over it. Can't go around it. Gotta go through it.

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped the leash around my waist again, grabbed a hold of the harness and began to pray:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death....OK God, I know that's taken from the Drama Queen translation but what I mean is: help me! Give Drake some blinders or something. Scare the deer away. Just let us get home with out incident.

Drake was fully alert and aware of the deer but he followed my lead and pressed on up the hill. He heeded my pulls and chides and we were soon passed his greatest temptation. Man! And he's a DOG! People, when we are faced with life's temptations...sometimes they can't be avoided but we can get past them if we listen to the chides and pull of the Spirit.

If Drake can do that then I think I can make it through the potato chip aisle at the grocery!

Fall Fun

2011-10-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

Oh! How I love fall! I love the cool crisp weather, the colors and the festivities! Bring on Oktoberfest, Halloween and Thanksgiving!!!

Last weekend we hosted a Beer and Cheese pairing party. It was very fun and educational. I found that I liked Guinness much better when paired with Mozzarella then with out. A beer that stout does not need anything too fancy. Also, Aaron bought a Banana Nut beer that was awesome! We did not have a cheese to pair with it but it really did not need one. So good... (Pictures and details on pairings will be found under the Party Ideas tab later this week.)

Our weekly Pizza Night was turned into a Spooky Pizza Night! At baking day I made scads of pizza dough so the kids could all make their own pizzas. We had jars that were filled with various toppings and then labeled with creepy names, i.e. green olives are Frog Eyes, black olives are Tarantula Eggs, etc. The kids had a blast. There were calls down the table of "please pass the Vampire Vomit" and "I need more Spider Webs!" Finally they ate something other then a plain cheese pizza or pepperoni pizza. Yes! (Pics and details on this will also be under the Party Ideas tab....soon!)y

The rest of my week has been dedicated to putting together the odds and ends needed for my family's costumes and decorating Caren's house for her annual Halloween party. It looks so great all in purple, black and orange! I will reveal all of our costumes after the Holiday. They are turning out great.

A painting I did for Caren's mantle

Yesterday we checked off our final thing on the List Of Things To Do Before Halloween and visited a pumpkin patch to pick out our pumpkins. There were Go Karts, a corn maze, petting zoo, hay ride and the biggest field of the most variety of pumpkins and gourds that I have ever seen!

My heart is happy and so ready now for the next Holiday! I have so much to give thanks for.

Part Of A Blanaced Breakfast

2011-10-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

The thing about getting ready for school is that first thing each morning Mom and Kids are having to launch over one of the biggest hurdles of the day. It would be nice to ease into things: have a cup of tea and a nice quiet breakfast, maybe watch the morning news. It would be nice to wake up because you've had a full nights sleep and so you just can't sleep any longer.

Instead an alarm blares and I hit snooze about 4 times before I finally open my eyes.

"Time to get moving Bugs." I sleepily call out while still laying on my pillow. I peel myself out of bed and give another wake up call as I pass their room on the way to the kitchen. I flip the tea pot on, fire up the computer and then shuffle back to my sons' room.

"Guys, I'm serious. You've gotta get up. It's a school day."

Moans and groans.

"I have to go to the nutritionist this morning so I've got to get myself ready too. I need y'all to get dressed and get your own breakfast so I can take a shower."

They finally get moving.

"What can we have for breakfast?" Drew asked.

"I set out some bagels and cream cheese for you. They are already cut."

The boys are quite capable of making their own breakfasts and lunch but I am still usually the one to do it for them. Drew for sure can handle his own in the kitchen. Sometimes he will eschew the breakfast I'm offering, take out a pan and cook up his own eggs. Just the other night I was making the family a green chili stew for dinner. Drew walked into the kitchen, took out a spoon and started giving me tips on how to prepare dinner.

"Mom, I like your green chili stew but can I suggest a little less chili? And could you add a little more garlic?" he said while stirring the pork in the pot.

Typically I'm putting away dishes, signing off on homework and a few other things while making dinner. I don't want the kids under foot while I cook.

"Buddy, when you are head chef of your own restaurant you can prepare your food however you'd like. Right now I need you to get out of my kitchen."

I shooed him out and then minced another clove of garlic. I mean, the kid kind of knows what he's talking about. With this in mind, I showered and continued getting ready with very little concern for whether or not my sons could prepare themselves a bagel.

"Hey guys, we gotta go in ten minutes! This is your time to get your shoes on, make sure your back pack is packed, grab a coat...." I gave the last call warning as I walked into the kitchen to make my own bagel. About that time Drew walked out of the pantry wearing nothing but a t-shirt and undies. There is food all over his shirt and a little still stuck to the corner of his mouth.

"Drew Bug! Why are you not dressed? We are leaving in ten minutes! Wash your face and get dressed for school."

"I don't feel so well..." he groaned, "My tummy hurts..."

Figuring this was just a ploy to get out of school I said, "Well...I guess I will have to cancel the party we are having tonight. Can't have you playing with your friends and getting them all sick."

"Maybe we will. I don't feel good." As he said this I noticed a smudge of chocolate going down the side of his face like war paint.

"Buddy...were you eating chocolate?"

"No..."

"Nutella?"

"No."

"Well, then why is there chocolate smeared on your face?"

"OK I have a confession..."

"Mmmhmm."

He lead me into the pantry and gestured to the second shelf.

"I just couldn't resist the frosting!"

On the second shelf is leftover canned frosting from when Uncle Matt made him a castle cake for his birthday. They are like the cheez whiz cans.

"I mixed it with my grape nuts and bananas and it was soooo good but now my tummy hurts!"

We have a huge walk in pantry and Drew had set up a little picnic in the back of the pantry with his concoction.

"I'm sure it does Bug. Get dressed. You are going to school."

"But what if I get sick at school?"

"That's OK. You're not contagious, just foolish. Get dressed. You now have about 5 minutes."

After my appointment with the nutritionist (please note the irony) I went to the school to volunteer in Drew's class.

The front office clerk greeted me with, "Ms. McDowell, are you aware that Drew is laying down in the clinic?"

I marched into the clinic, dragged Drew off of the cot and down to his classroom. He told his teacher and class about his faux pas.

"Ms. D, I know it's Fun Friday today but I think I'm going to pass on the treat..."

Lesson learned.

The Cat Came Back...

2011-10-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

When we arrived in Colorado it was with two kids, two cats, an old dog and a snail.

Gary the snail died not long into our time here. He was a Rosy Wolf snail and ate other snails. The dry atmosphere and high altitude does not make a good habitat for a snail. We could find none to feed him but honestly I think he dried up before he had a chance to starve to death. It was sad even though he was just a snail.

Theodore was a 16 year old shitzpoo (part shitzu/part poodle) who was deaf, blind and incontinent. We inherited him from my mother. Theodore lived through the road trip (that I was thoroughly prepared to be pulling over and burying him on some Texas roadside) and he seemed to actually flourish in the mountain environment. But his new lease on life was short lived and he went to the Big Dog House In The Sky a few weeks after our move. (See Theodore's Finale)

This left us with two cats, Sinclaire and Smee. Sinclaire has a thyroid problem that we treated with medication. She was a sweetheart even though she was constantly jumping on our counter which I found disgusting. I would spray her with a water bottle. She would get down and then return. I would spray again. She'd get down and return. This went on and on. Her thyroid issue made her very thirsty so she would also drink out of the toilet or any unattended beverage. Annoying!

Aaron and I found her a year after we got married. She came when he called her and so Aaron conceded to keeping her. She was a pretty silver tabby with a scar over her left eye. Sinclaire would often bring us the gift of a dead bug. She would follow me to the apartment laundry mat and stalk the ducks at the creek that ran through the complex. When I was pregnant, she would walk with me at heel as I strolled through the neighborhood. No one has seen anything like that. She played outside and came to the door and mewed when she was ready to come back in.

One day, when Gabriel was a little more than a one year old, Sinclaire came to the door and mewed loudly. I let her in and as soon as I shut the door behind her she opened her mouth and out flew a frantic (and slightly bloodied) bird. The bird flew all over the living room while Gabe and I both stood there screaming. It swooped down and BAM! hit the storm door and dropped dead. I grabbed a dustpan from the kitchen and proceeded to scoop up the bird. As I tossed it out the door it came to life and flew off! Gabriel could not speak but he would re-enact the whole scene over and over complete with our screaming. Sinclaire brought live birds to Gabriel, and later for Drew, several times during their infancy's. I think she was trying to teach them to hunt. Ug.

Sad for our loss of Theodore, Santa brought the boys a new dog last year; our beloved Drake. Drake is the most loving beast a person has ever known. Everyone who meets him falls in love! The problem is that he is 90 lbs of cat hating muscle. Drake wants to eat the cats. He's come very close to getting Sinclaire. We did some training with him to correct it and it seemed to help.

A few days before Aaron and I were to leave for NY (August), Sinclaire went outside to play. She would usually return to us around 3 or 4 in the afternoon but one day she did not. I called and called for her, hiked around hunting for her and she never turned up.

"Are you going to put a sign out for her mom?"

"No buddy..." I always kind of laughed at people who put Lost Cat signs up out here. Really, if your cat has not come home....fox? Mountain Lion? Lot's of options as to it's demise. Once Caren saw a sign for a lost goat. Bwahahaha!

Aaron and I figured one of two things: she left to die (thyroid getting the best of her) or she was some mountain animals lunch.

Today was Baking Day and I made two sour cream coffee cakes. They were to bake for...

"...an hour and a half?! Why do I always manage to get these recipes that take a hundred years to finish?"

After two hours of baking they were still doughy and raw in the middle. Caren and I dumped it out and decided we would have to make a bread pudding with the remains.

When the boys got home we had to rush through homework. I needed to take a meal to the school for the teachers who were working late for parent/teacher conferences. After that I needed to take Drew to Cub scouts and Gabe to soccer. I had a hard time getting the boys out the door (imagine that) and so was late. I grabbed all of the food for the teachers and peeled out of the drive way. As I raced down the hill I suddenly saw something gray in the corner of my eye. Instinctively I knew and slammed on the breaks. I got out of the car and walked up to my neighbors fence to have a better look.

There, sitting near my neighbors horse coral, was...

"...Sinclaire?"

She looked at me but did not move.

"Come here kitty, kitty, kitty! Sinclaire!"

The cat gave me a blank stare. With no acknowledgement she turned away from me. Her profile revealed her scar over her left eye! That damn cat is alive and well! I don't know if she's been living with our neighbor all of this time or what but there she is! She obviously has no interest in returning to our house. Hmph! After 12 years!

She's been gone for 2 months. I heard a recent story of a cat who left home for 6 years and was found in another state. I wondered if Sinclaire could be out there living the mountain life but doubted it.

I called Aaron.

"I knew she wasn't dead," he said. "Nothing is going to kill that cat."

I just laughed and sang: "Oh, the cat came back the very next day. The cat came back; they thought he was a gonner but the cat came back. He just couldn't stay awaaaaay!"

Curtain Call

2011-10-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

Up stage, the doors open. Dramatic entrance music plays and my friend and cast mate, Becky Donnella, stoically marches out as Eva Peron. We are all facing her, backs to the audience, moving like flowers to the sun as she moves down stage. One by one she takes the hands of the ladies she passes as would a Pope offering a blessing. She comes to me and takes both of my hands in hers. We give each other a squeeze and in my squeeze is every hope, every wish to "break legs" and every bit of good energy I can send to her and the whole cast. It's my secret prayer for the performance and though we've already performed 2 songs, it's in that moment that the show would begin for me each night.

Every performance was better then the next. As things improved and we became more comfortable on stage, the back stage antics amped up. We all had so much fun making puppets, kidnapping flip flops, and making faces and dances up to try and make those on stage laugh. There were so many comedies going on on the side, I could not possibly share them all here. Friendships and partnerships were forged to be sure!

Also every night I would style the girls' hair. I knew how to make mine work and tried to help a few with theirs. It turned into a permanent "position" and I loved it! It also became a sort of measurement or prediction for how that night's performance was going to go. I told them it was like my crystal ball but instead was of hair.

"What does the hairball say tonight, Michal? How is it going to go?"

"We are going to start out a little rough but end with a bang!"

Or sometimes vice-versa.

As a thank you for all the heads of hair I did this past month, the cast presented me with a bottle of wine (yes ma'am!) and a golden head. Sadly, the gold head was made of Styrofoam and so when spray painted it got a little eaten up. The result was something that looks more like a golden burn victim... I'm moved none-the-less and she will hold court on a special spot on my dresser.

I must've done a good job because after every show someone would find me in the lobby to tell me how beautiful my hair and make up was and how fabulous my costumes were. The first time I was very pleased but when it started to be the only compliment I was getting, I became annoyed. Really, I did not work for months on learning to dance and sing these crazy Andrew Loyd Weber songs to hear that I looked pretty.

Our last show was splendid! Everyone's energy was great, the audience was playful and our leads gave it their all. I started to tear up in the second scene but held it at bay the rest of the show.

After our bows I felt good and ready to say good bye to Evita but it was still hard. I don't want to liken it to a death but maybe more like sending a child off to school or like putting a friend on a plane.

That was next for me to do.

For the last show my friends Amy and Christina came all the way from MO! Since the show was over the cast was to stay and strike the set, clean dressing rooms and the like. I had also been invited to Caren's for raclette, her family's traditional First Snow meal. (It snowed Saturday!) My heart was a wreck. Part of it wanted to be with the cast to physically and symbolically put away the show. Another part was desperate for more time with my MO girlfriends and wanted to spend this last bit of time with them, even if that time was spent in taking them to the airport. The last bit of me so wanted to be in my Caren's kitchen with our families, wine and food.

That "Spread Thin" feeling has been with me a lot this month as I tried to be involved at the school, with my family, my friends and the show all at the same time. I did not want any of these components to effect the performance of the other. Here in lies the reason that I have to step down from the stage for awhile. My family and friends need the break and, if I'm really honest with myself, I guess I do too. It kills me. I want to be in all of these places and do all of these things and it's just not possible. I feel like this is how my whole life is right now as I'm still struggling with having half of my heart in Texas and the other half here in CO.

I fought tears all the way to the airport. I dropped my girls off with hugs and kisses.

"Don't cry," Amy warned.

I got into the car and burst into tears. I bawled like a banshee the whole way home. There goes my friends! There goes my show!

When I got to Caren's I fell into her door and dove for the table. It was beautifully set and wine was already poured. I fought tears again as relief flooded over me. I had not seen Aaron or Caren all week. It was so good to be back in the role of Wife, Mother and Friend.

I had another good cry in bed. With out saying a word, Aaron just held me while I got it all out.

This morning the boys and I did our Off-To-School dance. Gabriel had band so I drove them. After getting Gabe settled, Drew and I went to the library to kill time before class started. A teacher found us there.

"Oh Michal! I saw the show Friday night and I just have to tell you that you looked GORGEOUS! I really enjoyed it. The leads were so good. I just loved it and your hair and make up were perfect. Those gowns you wore were beautiful!"

Oh. My. Lands.

A Good Apple

2011-10-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

When a child has a birthday in Drew's class, his teacher has the students write a letter to the birthday child telling them all the good things about them. To start the class brainstorms, raising their hand to tell a word that describes the child. Ms. D writes it on the chalk board and then the kids can use the words on the board to help write their letter. For example: If "nice" is on the board a student may write, "You are nice because you help people."

When I got Drew's book we sat down together to read his letters. His classmates said the sweetest things about him! Drew was beaming. At the end of the book Ms. D wrote everything that had been put on the board.

Drew's read (and in purple because it's his favorite color):

Dear Drew,

Happy birthday! We think you are:

empathetic, clever, artistic, a team player, helpful, caring, selfless, determined, smart, really kind, generous, nice, polite, considerate, happy, joyful, positive, creative, giving, an outside the box thinker, patient, loving, cooperative, loyal, sincere, sensitive, honest, truthful, genuine, and a magnificent Magic Maker!

Love,

Your Classmates and Ms. D

My eyes welled up and I choked the words out as I read those traits all together to describe my son. That is what a mother hopes for! "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) I think all of those things were listed! What an awesome kid. I'm so proud of him.

I wish Gabriel's class would do the same. He is already planning on having a Samurai party.

"We could have sushi!" I suggested.

"And you will have to make me a Samurai costume because there are none in the stores. For kids, that is."

"Maybe we won't do costumes buddy."

"But that's what makes it so fun! You made gauntlets and greaves for Drew's knight costume..."

Oh boy.

The good news is I have until May to figure out how to make a Samurai costume. Either that or to convince him to go another route.... What will we do? Make a pinata that we disembowel?

"And I'll need a katana."

I love my sons!

With The Grace Of A Chicken

2011-10-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my brother's family and my friend Tiffany came in to town. I had three Evita performances (like every weekend) and hosted the cast party. Many have asked "how do you do it?"

I do it with all the grace of a chicken with her head cut off.

Last week there were three mornings where I woke up sick to my stomach. Friday was one of them. The Bug was dancing and singing through the house, "It's my birthday! It's my birthdaaaaaaay!" I squeezed him and wished him a happy birthday and also asked him to stay out of the kitchen for the morning. *stomach roll*

"Don't forget my special treats at school today Mama!" Drew reminded me.

"I got 'em."

"Will you stay and have a special birthday lunch with me?"

"Not today Bub. I have to finish getting the house ready for Uncle Isaac."

Since I had an appointment with the nutritionist that morning I needed to get myself ready as well. I was looking for a new shirt of mine that I had not been able to find during the week, not in the clean or dirty piles of clothes. I started to tear through all of my drawers, the floor of my closet, under my bed. My stomach was getting worse and worse, then I stopped.

This is nuts.

I text Caren:

Sick to my stomach again. I think it's stress. I'm flipping out about a shirt! I feel weak to ask it of you but if you can, would you help me today?

"Take a deep breath..." Caren says to me when we met up at the bus stop. "What all do you have to get done?"

"I dont' know. I mean, I know it's just...I have an appointment at 9 with the nutritionist, the house is pretty much done but I need to sweep, mop and vaccum, I have a picture at Michael's that I need to pick up....well, I guess I don't need to, but I want my house all ready for when my brother gets here! There are a few more groceries to grab because the food for the party is going to be prepared ahead of time, I have some gag gifts for the party that I need to finish painting. I have a stew in the crockpot for the family's dinner tonight but I need to make a salad...."

"Make a list. Decide what really does need to be done and what I can help you with. Text it to me, or at least what you want me to do. It'll all get done! Your problem is that you are trying to do it all at this Martha Stewart level. It'll get done."

I headed to my appointment taking deep breaths and saying prayers of thanks for Caren and for Heaven's peace to be with me.

My appointment was stellar! I lost 4 lbs! That probably means I had really lost 2 lbs. the last week but the salty meals the day before weigh in effected the out come. This was a short visit just to weigh in and see if that was indeed the case. I left feeling light as a feather!

After buying groceries, I went home and began to make my list.

Shoot! I forgot to buy butane!

Caren was going to be watching the boys that evening while Aaron picked my family up from the airport and while I was at the theater. She was going to help Drew make creme brule with his new kit he got from his Aunt for his birthday. I text Caren about the butane. As I looked at my list I realized that was really all the help I would need from her. It felt great to go through and cross things off as I got it all done.

At 11 a.m. I ran Drew's birthday treats up to the school. I had planned to just drop them off and then rush home to finish my list. Drew's teacher does such a fun things on their birthday! I got caught up in his special day and ended up staying about an hour. It was so worth it and I still got everything on the list accomplished.

I got to the theater a little early Friday to hunt for a pair of missing flip flops. One of the cast had lost her flips. She had to leave the theater in her character shoes. She loved them so, as they were perfectly broken in. It was so wierd that they had seemingly vanished.

After scouring the dressing room I found them stashed into a small opening that I could barely get my hand into! I was so thrilled to have them! I had been hoping to find them first and have a little fun with it. I stashed the flip flops in my car. They hardly struggled.

Friday night, when I got home from the show, the house was dark and quiet. Everyone was already asleep. Someone had done all of the dishes but the stew was still out. I had a small helping and put the rest in tupperware. When I put it away I found the salad I had made untouched. Poop.

I went to bed and laid awake, too wound up from the show and too excited to see everyone in the morning. It was like Christmas Eve! Early in the morning I awoke to the sweet sound of a little bird. It was my niece who practically chirps when she talks! Just a doll! It's been over a year since I'd last seen her! She is so big and smart and downright adorable.

That afternoon Gabriel had a soccer game. Aaron went to pick my friend, Tiffany, up from the airport and then they met us at the soccer field. Gabriel was great! I had never seen him move so fast. I think he really tried hard to impress his Uncle. After the game I prepped some of the food for the party. I made homemade cream cheese icing to go on a banana cake Caren had made for me to serve at the cast party. I of course added too much powdered sugar and had to run to get more cream cheese to fix it. (Why had I not just bought cream cheese frosting? Ug.) Then it was time to get ready for another show. I made dinner reservations for my family and then headed off to the theater.

I was so excited because my family was finally going to get to see the show and because I had my friends flip flops!!!

As soon as I got there I wrote a note:

If you ever want to see your "precious" flippity floppity's again, await my instructions...

At various times during the show I would steal away to make another ransom note. We were all in stitches! To add to the back stage antics this same gal missing her flops had brought a mustache that we were all posing in pictures with. (See why I love this girl?)

Once home, after hearing my family's accolades, I continued to harass my friend. Tiffany and I tied the flip flops together and put duct tape over where their mouth might be. We took a picture and sent it from Tiff's phone to the owner of the footwear.

MICHAL, You gave yourself away with a Texas area code! P.S. I hate you.

Doh! I should've used my brother's phone...

Sunday we hit the ground running again. I made a list of what needed to be done for my sister-in-law and Tiffany. There is no way I would have pulled this off with out their help! It worked our perfectly. We reviewed the list and pulled out different pieces of serviceware and arranged tables with decorations and plates. Everything was set! All I needed to do was text them when the show was over and they would heat up the goodies and fire up the grill. In between the party preparations we got a few more pics of the kidnapped shoes. One had them hanging dangerously from the balcony and another showed them with a knife to their "necks." I tried to get money or cookies out of this but this gal is tough.

After the show the cast headed to my house. My home was teeming with nerds! It was great! We karaokied and I gave my friend her dang flip flops back. Ha!

Monday I was exhausted! I could barely stay awake. While driving my brother to the airpost there was talk about whether or not my niece was going to be able to stay awake. She got her pink blankey and took a little snooze. I was so jealous...

Everyone is back at their homes. After running errands I had a nice little nap today. This is the last weekend of the show. I have another friend coming in from MO to see me and I can't wait! I can't wait for Friday when we all perform again. Three more shows and then Evita will be over. I'm looking forward to life going back to normal and I also dread it.

I'm signing off now. Gotta go re-attach a chicken head.

Oh What A Knight

2011-09-26T13:14:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would say it but...thank God it's Monday! This weekend has been pack full of fun and work. Fun work but, whew!

Friday night:

Evita performance followed by karaoke with my brother-in-law and his friends. Rolled into the driveway around 1:30 a.m. Guess who has two thumbs and is not a teenager anymore? This lady! In the a.m. I had a much needed appointment with my chiropractor, followed by a 3 mile walk and then Caren and I decorated a friends house for a special Vegas style high school homecoming party.

Saturday night:

I was so tired I contemplated guzzling down a cup of coffee. Being reminded by friends of the detrimental results caffeine has on my body, I opted to splash water on my face and pressed on for another Evita performance. This was our best yet! Still so proud of us all. After our fans let us leave (ha) I met my husband and BIL at an after party for Matt Hughes, MMA fighter. I again met cheek to pillow at about 1:30. Ug.

Sunday hurt a little more then Saturday but there was no rest for the weary. While my BIL made an amazing Castle Cake for the Bug's birthday party, I decorated the house with banners I had worked on all week. I also tried to finish making gauntlets and shin armor for his Knight costume that he was to wear at his party. Unable to finish I brought the project to the show with me and managed to complete them while Eva died. Good thing it's sort of a long scene...

Sunday night:

Evita performance. My personal best but as a whole I don't think we were as awesome as the previous night. My BIL and some of my gal pals came to see the show. It was so fun to see them after! We had a brief pow wow regarding the main production of the weekend, Drew-Bug's birthday party, and then headed to the house to get the party started!

I had a few more decorations to set up and changed into a Queen costume. My King was in the backyard grilling the courtly grub we were to serve to the party goers. I found Drew sitting on the trunk of my car, in full armor.

"Whatchya doing Sir Drew?"

"Waiting for my guests to arrive..." and then seeing a friend walking up the drive, "Who goes there?!"

Drew's uncle bought armor, helmets and swords for the kids. He arranged a battle field and had the kids fight in a medieval styled game of Capture The Flag. The kids had so much fun! It sounded and looked so authentic with shouts of CHARGE as they ran towards each other, foam swords thumping.

My friends/neighbors, Kevin and Caren arrived with their daughters. Kevin rented himself a Black Knight costume and Caren a gorgeous Queen's gown! It was such a fun surprise! My son is so loved.

The kids had a great time trying to take down the Black Knight. Kevin valiantly braved the onslaught of enraged mini-knights. The rest of us enjoyed the revelry from the Royal Box.

"Is this a rich kingdom or a poor kingdom?" Caren asked, waving an empty wine glass to me.

"Ha! I love it! We are a rich kingdom indeed madame!"

Aaron grabbed a "goblet" for me as well and took care of Caren's empty glass. One of my favorite lines of the evening, Caren!

Also making Drew's party extra special was that his teacher showed up! She is a dear friend of ours and was at the Evita matinee. Upon hearing of the party she schemed to crash it. The kids loved it! This lady is like a rock star to these kids. When the party was over Drew was still talking about how cool it was that she came.

And then there were the Cousineau's! Thank you so much Stacey for snap, snap, snapping such awesome pictures. It was so nice to not have to try and do that at the same time as host.
The kids all enjoyed a yummy dinner of drumsticks, sausage on a stick, fruit and bread. They had so much fun ripping into the bread which looked so yummy to us adults until the kids touched it... Ew. Stacey was also sweet enough to pick up some Root Beer for the kids too so they could drink like medieval knights as well. Rootskies all around!

Huzzah!

There were no injuries. No sick bellies. No hurt feelings. Just fun, fun, fun! Thanks to all who helped me out this weekend. Behind every great mom is an onslaught of amazing family and friends.

Rave Reviews!

2011-09-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks I have finally felt a change in my attitude towards this whole weight loss thing. Or at least in my self-image. I have felt lean and beautiful! It's been so long.... One day at Caren's I stepped on her scale certain of a drop in weight. Sure enough. Two pounds down.

I knew it!

I was happy to go to weigh in with the nutritionist on Friday. I practically skipped onto the scale.

"You are up a pound."

"Come again?"

While we sat in her office I watched her enter my weight into the computer. I kept looking at that number, one number higher then the last time, and I swear to you that my pants suddenly felt too tight. My belly began to bulge. As this transformation from slender starlet to fat slob took place, I knew that it was completely irrational. Really it's one pound. The nutritionist reminded me that I ate salty food the night before and that can effect the numbers. I go back this week just to weigh in to see if it was due to over eating or water weight.

Last nights performance of Evita was so fabulous! Everyone did so well with everything across the board. Our Eva was superb! It was great! So glad it was to a sold out audience who gave us a standing ovation, thank you very much. After the show we meet in the lobby with our friends and family who came to see the show.

As I was milling about the lobby an older gentleman bee-lined for me.

"Oh I'm so glad I found you!"

A stalker. I must've done really good!

"I was hoping I would see you because I just have to tell you..."

Yes...

"That your..."

Dancing? Singing? Acting?

"...costumes are amazing! That polka dot dress you wore was so beautiful and the way it moved when you danced was fantastic."

My dress moved fantastic?

"Oh thank you so much!" I beamed, "I will be sure to pass your compliments on to wardrobe. They found amazing vintage clothes for us to wear. They are so fun to wear!"

Standing ovation people and my costumes got rave reviews. Ha! I am very proud of my performance last night even though I did continue to dance when everyone else had stopped. Another grand solo moment... Hahahaha!

I have to take a minute to brag about my sons here. I love my boys but I am not one of those mothers who thinks her children can do-no-wrong. My sons are proud nerds, one is a little on the loud side, they can be whiners and have no athletic ability but their other talents far out weigh their short comings. (If running like a girl is a short coming.) They have been so understanding and supportive the last few months while their Mommy has been off playing make-believe with a bunch of folks they've never met. I have left them with their (amazing) father many nights, including Pizza Night, or with a sitter, missed sport practices and games and I have only received one growl through the whole thing. I also get rave reviews about them from their teachers, friends and sitters.

While volunteering at the school the other day a classmate of Drew's approached me.

"Ms. Michal, I don't know if you give out Tickets at home but if you do I think you should give Drew one for just being himslef!"

The class nominated him Most Positive. *tear* Yes, this is the same boy who repetedly ran from the bus stop last year and grumbled and growled the whole way home when he got off the bus. This new attitude is in part due to bing more comfortable in CO and in school but also I must give credit to his amazing teacher, Julia, who has the kids check the negativity at the door.

The week of the opening of Evita, my husband was out of town and I had rehearsals every night. The boys had sitters for a week. (We have one sitter named, Alex. Speaking of her Gabriel says, "Alex is really great but she has a strange name for a girl." Um...really son?) After watching the boys one night Alex thanked me for allowing her to watch my sons. "They never give me trouble. It's so fun!"

One of my friends offered to watch the kids for me one evening.

"I won't get home until 11..." I warned.

"No problem. Let's just have the spend the night."

"Gabriel has soccer practice that evening..."

"I can take him to soccer."

"...and band in the morning..."

"I can take him to that too."

*Applause to my amazing friend!*

The morning after this mid-week sleepover, my friend called me to report to me about their night.

"Your sons are so hilarious! They have beautiful manners and were such a joy to have. My husband is usually not on board with having other kids over but he had so much fun with your sons. They won him over completely."

Later I saw her husband. "I had such a great time with your sons. That Gabriel is going to be a Senator one day and I'm sure Drew will be running his own kitchen."

Our contractor was over the other day and his partner played "Nerf guns" with my boys in the basement while The Boss and I discussed the bathroom re-model. They were laughing and having as much fun as if he was one of the neighbor kids.

My brother-in-law is in town this week and he had a friend over who made sure to compliment me on the boys.

"I have nephews about the same age. I love 'em but I have to say your sons are amazing. So well behaved and funny."

Thank you boys! I'm so proud of you and that meeting you is a blessing to people. Everyone can tell that you both have great purpose about you. You are well mannered, smart, witty, (loud), beautiful, ambitious and loving...did I mention smart?

Let's Do The Time Warp

2011-09-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

Baking Day started with an e-mail from Caren:

"Hey guys, I cleaned my oven yesterday and now it's not working. This means NO BAKING. We could still do stove top stuff or maybe make some things to freeze and bake later..."

Well a broken oven is a bit of a dilemma for a baking group but as anyone who knows Caren would guess, she would have some sort of solution.

"I have a convection oven we could bake a few things in."

"A what?"

If you are as unfamiliar with cooking tools as I am you may not know that some ovens are convection and some are not. The kitchen we use for baking day has a stacked oven with both convection and....regular...I don't know what it's called. I also have no idea (after a year of baking) what the difference is or why some things should be baked in convection or not. The spare convection oven that Caren has is a bit larger then a microwave. See below:

That looks pretty old...

As we begin to bake and prepare foods Caren suggests coffee. She whips out her coffee grinder. See below:

"Caren, I'm going to give you a piece of wisdom I received from my friend Shalah: Appliances are not heirlooms. I'm guessing this is your parents?"

"It is! It's probably from the 70's."

"Dear Lord..."

I'm adding, "your appliances should not be older then your friends," to the list of sage advice.

Taking a page from our fellow baker Patti's page, I decided to make veggie pancakes. I found this recipe in Family Fun magazine. It has cornmeal, eggs, flour, carrots, zucchini, and corn kernels. You can dip it in a pesto/sour cream dip or ranch dressing. They turned out really yummy! As other bakers arrived I lost my post at the stove and was moved to:

"What is this?"

"It's an electric fryer. Are you telling me you've never seen an electric fryer?"

By this time Caren's Oven Man (and our eye candy) had arrived. He found it quite humorous that there was a group of ladies who met to bake and at least one had no apparent knowledge in the kitchen.

The veggie pancakes were delish BTW.

Look what Kathy brought from her garden! Scads of Beets!

This isn't the half of them!

Pickled beets were also on the agenda. Cooked in a pressure cooker no less....another appliance I had never seen, used or heard of.

Since we seemed to be in a time warp I suggested Caren plug the 70's into Pandora. It was perfect! People need to listen to some of that vintage stuff every now and then. One forgets how good some of that is...

Caren and Stacey made a peaches n' cream pie:

We had to taste it because it was a new recipe. The verdict?

"Yes Ma'am!"

Oh my lands is this good!

We also had a huge box of plums to make something out of.... We tried a tart and there is some plum jelly about. I took some home to maybe add to the yogurt I made.

Or maybe I'll paint a picture of them. I think they are so pretty...

So it turned out to be a pretty interesting baking day. Mountain Women: innovative, spunky and using the same appliances since 1973.

Naturally

2011-09-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

Though I love to wear make-up and do my hair it feels so fabulous this morning to be completely au natural! I'm on my cozy couch in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. There is nothing on my face but moisturizer and my hair is a mess of tossled, product-free waves. Ah! So refreshing! This will be me for the next four days and then it will be back to red salsa lipstick, false eyelashes, hair pins and aqua net.

Opening night of Evita went really well. I never encourage folks to attend opening nights because they tend to be glorified dress rehearsals. This night had it's typical glitches but the energy was great! We had such a fun and involved audience. Applause to them!

On Saturday, my oldest son had a double header in soccer games. We sat in the cold and rain cheering him on, even though, God love him...not the greatest soccer player. But The Boy loves it! He is smiling while running around (kind of pointlessly) and he high fives his team mates when they score and helps up the fallen. It was great to be sitting there with The Nug-Bug in my lap, husband at my side and my little David Bekham doing his thing. The time with family was re-energizing.

Night two of the show was weak. We all seemed off in Act I and the audience was "blah." I felt like we redeemed ourselves in Act II but I'm not so sure the audience ever woke up.

Note to future audience members: Evita is a hard show to respond to. There is hardly any dialogue and often the songs move seamless of one another. A good rule of thumb for an audience of any show is that if you like something APPLAUD! Don't try to adjust to what's happening on stage. Let the stage adjust to your applause, not the other way around. Believe me, we would much rather hear your applause then not.

Last night's show was the best of the weekend! I personally had a near perfect performance. So close... The mistakes made are not things the audience will really even notice and so they become the funny bloopers that you get to see in the Out Takes of a DVD.

I had a sneaking suspicion that my friend, Caren, would be there last night as she was avoiding me all weekend. Not even a text. Thinking something was up, I was nervous to perform for the first time this weekend. I tried to push it back because it would be really lame if I was nervous and then there was no one there. After our first big dance number someone shouted my name.

Yep. They're here.

My nerves bubbled a bit more and then simmered down by the time I made my costume change. It was the wondering that had me nervous, not the knowing. I was able to go through the rest of the performance relaxed.

When the show ended I headed out to the lobby. The first face I saw was Caren's oldest daughter. She had a huge smile on her face! Made my night! I hugged her, her little sister and my friend Kathy's son, who I was very surprised to see there. In fact many of my Mountain People came with their families yesterday. Yea! We went out for a steak dinner and wine. Perfect.

When I returned home, my youngest was in the tub.

"Mom! I had a great time at football!"

"Awesome Bug! Did you win?"

"Nope but I almost scored a touch down. I ran with the ball and when they would come at me I would turn the corner on them. I was like, 'You're not going to get this guy!' and I ran and ran and then some guy got my flag when I only had about 5 feet to go!"

"Man Buddy! That sounds awesome. I'm so sorry I missed it."

"Me too. You will get to see me do it again sometime because I learned that I just have to keep turning corners to get away from those guys. How was Evita? Did you sing good?"

"It was great. I was happy with my performance too. No touch downs but close!"

Last night, I was laying in bed wrapped up in husbands arms. I was warm all over. And tired all over. There was a light ache in my feet, legs, back, face and arms. (Why my arms? Weird...)

I'm so tired and so content.

The Evita soundtrack kept looping through my head. My body was ready for sleep but my mind was still running.

Quiet you! There will be plenty of time for all of that the next three weekends.

I love every bit of it. I love rehearsals and hate when they end, even though I am ready to go and sleep at the same time. I miss my family while I'm working and I miss my cast mates when I'm not. During the day I'll be running errands, baking, cleaning and half my mind is in Argentina. The whole cast has put in so much of themselves into this show. The feedback I got from friends tells me it really shows.

On three separate occasions this weekend I was told I was made for, meant to be, or a natural on stage. I have always felt that way but always thought it may be a grand illusion and I never knew other people could see that. I think it's important for us to use our talents (no matter how small) that God has given us. Just like any other part He's equipped us with, arms, legs, He never intended for them to hang limp but to be utilized. I sure wish I would've done something with what talent I do have earlier in my life but I'm glad I'm doing something with it now, no matter what the scale. It just feels...natural.

Time to Spank the Baby

2011-09-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

The other night I dreamt that I was at rehearsal and the whole cast had a baby in their arms. A sweet, chubby legged baby! Dreaming of babies is a symbol of new beginnings. We have carried and labored for weeks and now our baby is just about ready!

We had rehearsal every night this week. The last two nights were dress rehearsals. I was a good girl and kept my joking around to a minimal. (So many good one-liners that were lost...) I love dress rehearsals, especially for this show because it's set in my favorite time period! The 40's!!! I love to wear my hair pinned up in victory rolls and the red lipstick. The whole look is so clean, put together and feminine!

The costume people xeroxed a bunch of different hairstyles for us to choose from. Apparently I have quite the knack for these hairstyles and styled almost all of the female casts hair. It's so fun! I'm going to let the "powers that be" know that if they ever need/want anyone to help with hair and makeup for a show to let me know. I'd love to do more of that. Because I'm doing so many heads of hair, I've taken to getting ready at home so that all I have to do to get myself ready is get dressed.

The first dress rehearsal I felt was the best. We all did really well! Last night was good but there were some issues. I think it was a across the board a slightly off night. For me it started from the very beginning. For whatever reason I had no balance. It was like I was walking in heels for the first time. I was wobbly through the first two dances. Musically I was off a few times too. I would sing the wrong part or not have the right timing. Poop. I had two favorite faux pas though.

The first was in a scene where we sing/chant "Peron!" There are three different times when we do this. The entrance is not cued by music so it's a little tricky. I hit every entrance but we are only supposed to chant "Peron" eight times. Once I did nine.... It was a lovely solo. Loud. Clear. Wrong.

The other may not have been my fault exactly but...I could have avoided it. At the back of the stage are double doors that are opened for a few grand entrances (mostly made by Eva and Juan.) If one exits stage left but then needs to enter stage right (or vise verse) one needs to run through the back stage area. These doors open to the back stage. So in one really quick exit and entrance that I need to make I dash across and right as I do I realize that the back stage doors were wide open! I don't know what is going on on stage but the audience may have been a tad distracted by a mad woman running across the back of the scene. Actually, I was running through and right as I'm in the middle of the doorway opening I felt the light hit me and thought Crap and stopped like I had hit a wall. Just as quickly I took off on my run again. So the audience saw a woman run, stop with a grim expression on her face and then run again. Ha! There is a large screen in this back stage area, that I should've gone around. It would've made my transition a little longer but it would have solved this whole problem. That door should not have been open at that time but I needed to have been aware of whether it was or not and dodged behind the screen.

Other than that...I think everything went smoothly!

I am tired and sore but I love, love, love it. I love everything that goes on back stage and enjoy being involved in making sure every one's props are where they should be and that the children know their cue to enter and "Oh my, the person who is supposed to take that chair off stage is not here yet so someone else needs to grab it." I love that stuff! It's fun to be a moving, functioning cog that is making the Machine work. A good show is not just in our showmanship or our voices it's in the little things, the details. Big hugs to the technical people who add the icing to the cake!

Yea, to the costume people! The lights and sound crew! The set design! The orchestra!! Yea to all of us! We are going to rock the kasbah at opening tomorrow night!

My Own Worst Enemy

2011-09-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

Last night's rehearsal was poop. Let me rephrase that: Rehearsal, as a whole, went really well. The show is right where it should be with 5 days out. I, on the other hand, was poop. And not so much due to bad performing. Let me e'splain.

For starters I had the call time wrong and was 30 minutes late. There is nothing I hate more than being late. It completely sets me off wrong. It gives the impression of either not caring or being unorganized, which I am neither. Turns out it was not such a big deal because we were doing the costume parade. This is where you try on your costume(s) for the director to preview. This allows them to see if you are wearing something period and character appropriate. Does anything need to be altered? This sort of thing.

I have all of two costumes. One is a formal and the other is an everyday sort of "worker" dress. My every day dress was not there since it needed to be hemmed a foot. I kid you not. This left me with only the formal to show. (This is why being late turned out fine.)

My formal is a lovely, bronze sort of gown. It's shorter in the front then in the back and has lots of pretty material that drapes elegantly from off my shoulders. Sort of a Grecian effect. At least on top there is flowiness, the bottom half clings to my hips and toosh. It also has a tragically low, plunging neckline. Yes, the front door is pretty much wide open bringing a whole new meaning to "who let the dogs out?"

I step out onto the stage in my gown.

"Could you step more into the light please?"

I take a few steps forward until the spotlight warms me. It quickly starts to burn me up. This situation is my nightmare come true. There are 4-5 people in the audience whose eyes are on me as directly as the spotlight. I feel like they are looking me over as critically as I do myself.

"Turn around please."

Dear God. Here we go.

I think I threw up in my mouth a little while I presented my dimpled, un-toned, had two babies ass to The Eye.

"That works. Thanks."

I returned to the dressing room and practically dove back into my yoga pants and shirt. It took everything in me to not sit in a corner, rocking and envisioning my Happy Place. This would have been a perfect time to do the scene where Eva dies. I could certainly have mustered real tears. But why? Nothing went wrong. The dress looks good. Oh but that awful feeling of being judged! Ug!

If I can't do that how could I possibly perform on a stage, you ask? Whole other game! The song and dance distracts from the mess. People are paying more attention to the performance you give then to you. It's also like how I can perform in front of a large group but to sing for one or two people is very scary for me. I guess I feel more exposed.

I laughed at myself for being horrified by showing my clothed backside when one of our cast members was just in The Full Monty. That's courage my friend. Obviously that is a show I would never attempt. Ha!

After the parade we proceeded with a run through of the complete show. This went pretty darn well. I was having so much fun! No kids! No dishes! No laundry! Apparently I was having too much fun and was scolded for talking too much in the wings. Obviously in a real performance I would not be carrying on and cutting up but "they" don't know that.

My Grandmother has always said that you should dress for the position you want. So if you want to be a manager you dress and behave like a manager even though you are only the receptionist. In the work place I have always heeded this advice but I certainly have not done so with this show. I don't think of it as my work place. My work place is at home. I am the manager there. The house, the kids, the husband, PTA (or O. Whatever it's called here) are my job and I am all over it. Organized, mature, serious. (Serious-ish.) The show is my playground! It's where I get to play make believe and dress up. I dance around and sing and there is nothing heavily weighing on me. I mean, I'm working hard and I want to perform my best (sometimes I really beat myself up about that part) but for the most part this is my escape and my fun-time. The problem is I will likely never get a more meaty role if I don't show that I can be serious and organized and professional. Not that anyone there is a professional actor but a show full of receptionists acting like management would be as top knotch as a show full of professionals. Clear as mud?

I've said it before that I felt like this show was a big audition for me but I blew it. I've spent more time and energy trying to make new friends instead of showing the director(s) what a hard working showman I can be. What a waist of Christina's time! She made sure I gave a professional audition and then I just went and "played."

Part of it is inexperience. Touring for 3 years in one show over 20 years ago is not experience. The latest thing I've done is the role of Seamstress. I had two lines and was such a sad dancer they staged the two tallest dancers to hide me in the one small dance part I had. At least I could sing.

I told Christina that I've pretty much blown it and that I shouldn't audition again with this group.
"There does not seem to be interest. I doubt they like working with me."

"You should audition anyway," she said. "It's good practice and experience."

Both of which I am short on. Wish I could let THAT hem out about a foot.

$#@&! It's Coming Right For Us!

2011-09-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

I feel that I should write a retraction of sorts to my previous blog Return of the Bear. In my blog I stated that a bear would be killed if reported to be in a neighborhood more than twice. I have been happy to learn that I was misinformed. They will relocate a bear if it visits a neighborhood more than twice but not kill it. Yea! Happy news!

I was also told that you can not shoot an animal on your property unless it is threatening you. Now this can make for an interesting discussion because there are different opinions as to what is a threat and what is not.

"Well sure! We wouldn't shoot a bear because it's going through our trash or passing through our property but if it's in my house..." I reasoned.

"Nope. It has to be threatening you," said the Mountain Woman.

"Um...a bear in my HOUSE is pretty damn threatening."

However...I kind of get it.

There is a story that I was told by one of my Mountain People about one of their neighbors. A bear entered their house through the basement door. Once inside the bear bumped the door and it shut. Poor thing could push the door in but could not figure out how to make it open to let itself out. (My dog, Drake has the same problem.) Feeling trapped and scared the bear pooped himself. Repeatedly. The bear pooped all over the basement and was sort of running about/pacing through it all, mashing that poo into the carpet real good.

It sounds like the floor plan of this house is similar to mine in that you can enter from the basement or from upstairs. The owner of the house exited his home from upstairs, went down to the basement door, and opened it for the bear to exit. The bear followed the cue and ran out the opened door. Now I don't know all of the details of this story. I don't know if the owner of the home loaded his shotgun first, then went and held the door open all gentlemen-like for the bear to exit through but if it were me, that's the way to go.

I think this home owner handled the situation perfectly. First of all if he had shot the bear he would not only have poop to clean out of the basement but a huge dead bear and a bloody mess to boot. His home was preserved (some what), family safe and the bear can also live happily ever after. I like that. However, I would not have thought poorly of him if he had shot the bear because it is in his house and that would make me feel quite threatened! If a human broke into my house and pooped all over it I'd shoot him. Actually, I would probably try to sneak out of the house while talking to 911 on my cell phone but the point is, if someone breaks into your home you can shoot them. At least in Texas. I guess I should find out what the law in Colorado is in this regard. Maybe you can't shoot them until they hit you first or point a gun at you first.

I'm still not sure what constitutes a threat by a bear or mountain lion or deer. (Deer can kill you. I know it sounds crazy but they can.) At this point I am taking my cue from South Park (written by Coloradoans). In one episode Uncle Jimbo explains to the kids that if an animal is charging you, you are being threatened and you may shoot to kill regardless if said, critter is in season. Jimbo uses this to kill what ever he likes.

A bear: "$@#%! It's coming right for us!"

A deer: $#@%! It's coming right for us!

A squirrel: $#@%! It's coming right for us!

Please note that by taking this cue it does not mean that I'm going to shoot and kill animals willy nilly and "claim" that I was threatened. It means that I think that the animal has to be "coming right for you" to be considered a threat.

Also note that in regards to my first blog where the bear shows up, I said that my husband was planning to take a day off from work to sit on the deck and shoot any deer that came on the property and tried to eat his trees. He did in fact say this. He was in fact joking. Maybe we have a rather twisted sense of humor but these things are in jest. The truth is we love the animals and we love to see them. My husband is the first to say that we are in THEIR territory not the other way around.

Rose hips and Raspberries

2011-09-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

Goodness! I had such a full day it's hard to decide if this should be one blog or two. I will do my best to condense.

The past few weeks (nutrition wise) have been tough. My body has felt exhausted! The rehearsals on top of workouts have left me feeling tired and worn. Despite all of the work and the conscious effort to make healthy food choices, I have felt sluggish and fat.  Every time I caught a glimpse of my reflection I was repulsed and my clothes felt tight.

Last week I had a relapse in my diet because of a bad day with my son.  That's the day I let myself buy the Lime Tostito Chips (soooo good) and it started a little bit of a snowball. The following day I figured I had ruined everything from the chips so I ate hazardously and did not quit until about half way through the day after that! It can take two weeks to lose two pounds and just one day to gain it all back. So the rest of the week I felt defeated and certain that I had sabotaged and failed myself.

"I just feel gross, fat, grumpy and all I want to do is eat. It's like I'm on my period," I half joked to Caren. I don't have the equipment for such a thing so that could not be it. "I do have the one ovary though...maybe I'm ovulating."

"Still?!" Caren laughed, "You've been saying that for over a week now."

Hmmm.

This morning I met with my nutritionist. Even though I was careless with my diet a couple of days the rest of the 2 1/2 weeks I made very conscious and careful choices and I've worked out hard. I felt certain that there would be a loss on the scale. I hoped for 5 but knew that it would likely be more like 2 or 3. Sure enough...

"You're down two and half," my nutritionist announced.

"Good," I said but I was still a bit disappointed. That was a lot of work for very little movement on the scale.

We discussed the previous weeks and I included the tale of the Lime Tostitos.

"When I hear you talk I hear a lot of negative and a lot of unrealistic expectations," my nutritionist began,  "A pound a week is excellent and it's the pace you want for weight loss. This sort of pace is the kind you want if you are going to keep it off permanently."

"Well that's good but it is disheartening to work so hard for so little results."

"It is. No doubt. It's so much easier to gain the weight then to take it off. But you have to be prepared for a long hard fight and not expect a 6 pound weight loss at a weigh in. Tell me about the day you bought the chips. What was going on?"

I retold how my son had been sick and was in a bad mood and ugly at the doctors office. I was tired from the long week of daily chores, activities, work outs and rehearsals. At the grocery store I had to wait 20 min. for my sons prescription to be filled and so was left to my own devices.

"I knew it was a bad idea to buy the chips but I just needed to feel better."

"What did you say to yourself when you saw the chips?"

"'Screw it.'"

She made a chart that said Event with an arrow to Thoughts to Feelings to Action. She wrote "delay at grocery" under Event and "Screw it" under Thoughts. She also pointed out that the thoughts come before the feelings. So true. I always tell my children, "You control your emotions. It starts in your head. Decide how you will feel about things."

"Really your first thought when you saw the chips was 'I need to feel better.' You thought the chips could do that. And they did but maybe a hug from your husband when you got home would do the same. You need to tell yourself encouraging words and TRUTHFUL words. You said when you work out you are mad afterwards because you don't feel better and you don't feel like there are results but there are. Even if you can't see them, there are so don't think, 'this isn't working.' Think, 'I can't see it but I know inside big things are happening and I'm getting results.' Don't think, 'screw it' in defeat to your diet, think 'that would make me feel better for a short time but for days, weeks, possibly months after, I will be unhappy because of that one bag of chips.' Why did you feel that there was not any progress this week? Because there was. Two and half pounds is excellent."

"I just felt big and someone took pictures at rehearsal and posted it on Facebook. When I saw it I just thought I looked gross."

"But you don't. That is not true. You are in great shape!"

"I feel that way today, I have no idea why I woke up this morning feeling svelte and cute when for the past two weeks I've felt disgusting."

"You have to stop telling yourself lies. You have to replace the negative and discouraging thoughts with positive and encouraging ones."

I will. I can. I do. I want, I thought. This is something my friend and Drew's teacher, Julia, always tells her students.

"When you wanted the Lime Chips you said that you knew you should resist, that it would be sabotage. So instead of 'screw it' what could you say?"

"I will. I can. I do. I want. I will resist the chips. I can make a better choice. I do have the will power to walk away. I want to be healthy."

"That's perfect!"

"My sons teacher says it. Also there is some verse in the Bible that just came to me about having control of your thoughts....?"

"It's take captive your thoughts."

"That's it! That just came to mind."

"You should put that on a post it somewhere you will see it. Also there is a verse that says 'Whatever is good, whatever is TRUE..."

"Yes! Yes! I know that one!"

"So you have to stop the negative thoughts."

I again thought of my Pillar of Positives on the kitchen wall. I did not need to write positive things about me on it. I needed to write encouragement. At home I wrote Julia's words on the chalk board "I can. I will. I do. I want.", 2 Cor 10:5 "Take captive EVERY thought," and Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is noble, whatever is TRUE, whatever is right, pure, lovely, whatever is admirable, think (meditate) on such things."

Caren and I decided to take the kids to lunch today (they were off for testing.)

"I thought a hike would be fun but the boys always whine..."

"Let's do it!" Caren encouraged. "We won't say we are hiking. We'll tell them we are mushroom hunting."

"I'd really like to try. I need some exercise today and I want them active."

It was a gorgeous day! The sun was warm but tempered by a cool fall breeze. We took our time enjoying scenery and tales of fairies and natives. The kids collected interesting flowers and leaves.

Drew and Caren's daughter kept running ahead to Aspen groves to rub the tree bark. The trunks of Aspens are white and it is said that Native Americans would rub the white off Aspen trunks and then wipe it onto their own skin as a sunblock. Drew and his little friend would rub their hands all over the Aspens and then onto their sweet round cheeks.

"This is great sunblock!" Drew shouted, "It's like rubbing powdered sugar all over!"

Mushrooms are found at the base of trees. Up the trail Caren spied some trees that she thought could have some mushrooms afoot.

"Hey guys! Look at this! It's like a little fort!"

The children ran to Caren and slipped under the reaching branches of the trees. The trees were growing in a small circle and provided a perfect little hiding spot. No mushrooms but lots of idea about who might use such a spot.

"Maybe deer take shelter in there..." Caren prompted.

The Aspen leaves are just beginning to turn and had sprinkled a few golden trinkets on the trail. The kids gathered up their favorites and we schemed to make an art piece with them. Unusual for Colorado this time of year, we came upon a clearing of butter colored snapdragons.

"It's like a Fairy Land," Caren's daughter sighed.

The kids saw another grove of Aspens and ran ahead to reapply their "sunscreen."

"Caren, check that out," I said pointing to a little container partially hidden under a tree and some bark. The tree it was leaning against was scorched by fire at some point.

"What do you think that is? You don't think someone tried to start a fire there do you?" I asked her.

"I don't know...what is that? Maybe someones pot stash?"

"Ha ha! Could be! Get it!"

"You get it."

I bent under the tree while Caren held back the curtain of branches. There was a small Tupperware container with a note attached to the outside.

"Oh! I bet this a Geo-caching thing," I guessed. It was actually something called Letterboxing. It's similar to the Geo-caching but instead of a treasure inside there is a little book where the finders leave a stamp. The supplier of the "hunt" also leaves a stamp for the finders to stamp their own books with. We put everything back and called the kids over to let them "discover" it.

While examining the letterboxing an elderly couple approached.

"Quick! Put it back!" Gabriel instructed, "They might be hunting for the letterbox!"

They were not hunting letters but raspberries. The couple had little luck with the raspberries but had a bucket full of ruby red rose hips. The woman said you could make jam with them. We asked to be shown what the raspberry bushes looked like. Maybe we could find some next summer. The couple carried on, as did we.

Caren and I paid more attention to the raspberry bushes this time and I found a few scrawny ones. The kids were delighted and began focusing their attention on berry picking. We gathered all of 5 raspberries and loads and loads of the beautiful rose hips!

Our pockets full and shirt fronts cradling berries, flowers and leaves; we headed home to examine our treasures.

"This has been an amazing day!" Drew cheered.

Caren and I had to agree. What a delicious afternoon!

Return of the Bear!

2011-09-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

BOOM!

"The bear!" I whispered

Aaron and I jumped out of bed and ran to the window.

"Hey! Get out of there!" Aaron shouted to it through the open window.

The bear wrestled with the trash can a little longer and then took off up the hill with a bag of trash. He stopped just a little ways up the hill, picking a spot under a tree for his smorgasbord. Once again, it was too dark to get a look at him. All I could make out was a huge round shadow and a white mass that must've been the trash bag. From the place of the large round shadow came the sounds of lip smacking and low bear-toned "nom, nom, noms." Between those sounds was a blast of breath every few seconds that sounded like a whale clearing his blow hole.

"That trash HAS to go in the garage!" I hissed at Aaron.

"He had not come back all week."

"Yes he has. He has come back every night since the first just not necessarily to us. He's hit Caren's twice and I've seen other neighbors with trash dumped everywhere."

The other night when we were at Caren and Kevin's playing Risk, we heard the dogs of the hood barking up a storm again.

"Maybe the bear is back!" Caren said.

We ran out to the front deck together.

"I don't see anything..." Caren said.

"Me neither but I hear something." We could hear the faint crunching sounds of something/one walking up the road. We got spooked and ran into the house squealing and giggling.

"You girls are silly," Kevin said. "It's too early for the bear to come. He hits around 3." And then to Aaron, "Glad you guys drove over though."

We had brought the car because it was raining at the time that we left. I was glad too because I did not want to walk home in the dark with a possible bear about. There in lies the problem with the bear returning. We don't want him to get too comfortable in our little area and start showing up when we are out walking our dogs or hiking up the hill with our children. The other thing is that if a bear is reported in an area more then twice, they kill him. That and if he's on someones property he can be shot. I think this is very sad and unfair. After all WE are the ones living in HIS world. I am happy to share my trash with him but...it's the safety factor that is an issue. We would never report him but I don't know about the rest of our neighbors.

Aaron left me at the window and grabbed his shoes.

"Where are you going?" I stage whispered.

The bear continued to nosh and I waited to see what Aaron was up to. I heard Aaron walk out the front door. (Our door is fenced in.) The motion detector light came on and the bear and I held our breath as Aaron emerged onto the scene, still with in the fenced part of our yard. The bear blasted his breath again.

Just like a whale, I thought. I decided to name him Moby.

Just then something went hurling through the air and hit the back board of the basketball goal.

"RAWHF!" the bear sort of gasped and he darted up a tree. I say "dart" because he shimmied up the trunk as fast and as agile as Mowgli but with the girth and "bababoom" of Baloo.

"Aaron!" I hissed. "Do NOT do that again!"

"Just trying to get him to move on. Did you see how fast he got up the tree?"

"Yes. I'm sure he could get over the fence just as fast."

We listened for awhile to Moby's heavy breathing and he made a few more "rawhf" type noises, then Aaron returned to the house and to his post next to me by the window.

"I wish I had the boys night vision goggles so I could see him better," I said.

Aaron took off again and returned with our video camera.

"Oh yeah....genius!" Our camera has night vision. It couldn't even pick up a visual of the truck though.

"Lame."

"Piece of crap!" Aaron mumbled and he tossed the camera aside.

Moby finally felt the coast was clear. He maneuvered down the tree a bit and then jumped to the ground. He's huge, y'all. I really hope it's a "he" and not a pregnant Mama. The last thing I want around here is a Mama Bear and her cubs.

Moby was still a little nervous and he moved up the hill to sit in some shadows. We couldn't see him but knew he was there by his distinct air blasts he kept making. Does this guy have asthma or something? So loud! No longer detecting movement, our motion detector light went out.

"I bet he goes back to the trash bag now that it's dark again." I whispered to Aaron.

Sure enough a shadow emerged from the shadows and bobbled back toward the tree. As he did so it set off our neighbors motion detector light. Moby froze and held his breath again. After some internal deliberation (I assume) Moby turned and headed up the hill away from all of our homes.

"The trash stays in the garage," I lectured again as we returned to our beds.

"Yep."

"I kind of think you left it out on purpose. I think you are fishing for him. Ahab."

No answer.

Resistance is Futile!

2011-09-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

The " Pillar of Positives" has come down. It made me uncomfortable looking at a list of my fabulousness from the inside-out, all over my kitchen wall. Part of it was from having a hard time believing all of it but the other was that it was in the hub of my home and anyone who walked in was going to see it. I considered moving the list to a post it in the bathroom but we don't have a Master Bath and so it would again be in a place that is well trafficked. The other reason I had originally put it in the kitchen (besides the fact that the chalk board wall made it easy) was that I thought it would remind me to make good choices, with it being where I would be making and choosing foods. It did but...it just felt weird so I erased it all.

I have been trying hard to record my meals. The first week I did meet my goal of 5 a week but this past week I have not been so diligent. I've still been very conscious and aware of what was going in and the working out has not slowed down. I do best when I have someone to work out with and Caren is usually a willing participant but due to injuries and then a sick child she had been unavailable most of the week.

One day she set up a circuit training in her basement. I went over and we worked out together using knowledge she had learned from her trainer. I grunted and sweat while her sweet little daughter sat on the couch watching on.

"Oh! Don't you just feel wonderful now?!" Caren exhorted after our work out.

But I didn't. I found that I would be grumpy and sort of mad after my work outs. I think I am mad that I have to do it because of this silly pre-diabetes thing. Apparently that's what it's called. I've suddenly been seeing it everywhere, in Fitness Magazine, on Spark People. Spark People had an 8 week challenge posted for people with diabetes or pre-diabetes. I clicked on the link to view the challenge. I looked at it but didn't read it and then closed it out.

That's not wise. You have a tool that could amp up your weight loss and get you to your goal and you are ignoring it! I also have a nutritionist, I argued with myself, and I'll just follow her advice, I justified.

Evita rehearsals were in the evenings and on the evening I had off there was Back to School night. I felt so tired this week. My body was just exhausted. If I'm not working out, I'm at a rehearsal or baking, or cleaning or at a meeting. I just wanted to stop and rest but when the opportunity was there I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd grab my music instead and work on it. Another time I started an art project. It's like when I was little and I'd spin and spin in the living room and then when I stopped it felt like I was still in motion. I'd start to get dizzy. Then a little sick. The only way to make it stop was to start spinning again. I knew what I needed was to rest but laying down for a nap my mind kept racing on.

It'll all calm down after the show. I thought to myself while laying on the couch trying to nap. Of course after the show the Holidays begin....

I tried to rest on Thursday. Caren was stir crazy from being cooped up at home with her sick little nugget. She offered to get groceries if I would keep her daughter. This seemed to be a fair trade! She dropped her off and as she was leaving my kitchen she stopped at the chalk board wall.

"What's this?" she asked while gesturing to the empty wall.

"I had to erase it. It was too weird."

And to her daughter she said, "Write some positive and nice things about Ms. Michal on the wall."

I gave her the colored chalk and told her she did not have to write about me but could draw whatever she wanted and then sat on the couch and tried to read.

I had mild success at baking day this week in some double chocolate brownies. I had hoped for something moist and chewy and instead ended up with anything but that. Still they must've been tasty enough because the Evita cast inhaled them. Another cast member brought me a bucket of blackberries from her garden to bake something up with.

Friday my plan was to hike, bake and rest. Thursday however I noticed that Drew had a loss of appetite (a sure sign "the boy ain't right.") He had been stuffy nosed (as had I) so I gave him some allergy medicine. That night he slept poorly, crying out in his sleep. I got him up and found that he was so stuffed up he could hardly breathe. I helped him blew his nose. He screamed and fought me like I was shoving sticks up his nose while I tried to get him to blast out some snot. I tried to be sympathetic to the fact that he was tired and was now standing upright in the bathroom instead of down in his warm bed but seriously: We're blowing a nose. It's not that big of a deal. I finally got him cleaned out and I tucked him back into bed with extra pillows to sort of keep him a little upright. He slept.

In the a.m. he was a bit of a bear and still had no interest in breakfast. Not even toast. I checked for a fever. None. I gave him more allergy meds, sent him to school and planned to call the doctor as soon as they opened. We've had enough sinus infections to know one when it arrives.

My hike was lovely! I took a trail I've been wanting to learn because I would really like to take guests there. There are huge boulders for climbing and I think it would be fun. Plus the climbing gives a little variety to the work out. I still noticed that I was a grump after the work out. Where are those endorphins? I need to change my thinking from "I have to work out" to "I GET to work out." I can afford the time, I have gorgeous places to exercise at, friends who are supporting me and the good health to do it with.

On the way home I called the doctors office and made an appointment for Drew in the afternoon. Caren then called and invited my hiking partner and I over for coffee/tea. We had our tea and then Caren made us an amazing lunch with a Mediterranean theme! There was some sort of Mediterranean Chicken Pot Pie that had chicken, fruit and a bouquet of spices arranged to my pallets delight! This was served with a salad of zucchini slices that had been marinated in something...I think I tasted lime and cilantro. Dessert was a Peach Soup. We decided the soup was basically a smoothie and wouldn't it be devine with a little champagne mixed in? Caren's house is my favorite restaurant.

I wanted to bake the blackberry dish using one of Caren's recipes for blackberry bars. She convinced me to do it at her house so the fun would not end. I walked home and gathered up my ingredients and then returned to Caren's. The recipe includes a lemon cream filling. This is made with sweetened condensed milk. I love this stuff! I scraped it all out of the can with a spatula and when I got as much as I could out of the can and into the bowl I licked every drop off of the spatula. It was de-lish! I felt a little naughty but quickly gave myself permission. Nothing is off limits. I licked a spatula, not drank a can of it. I then whisked in an egg yolk, lemon juice and zest. Not being able to resist; I licked the whisk clean too. (Not as satisfying since a whisk has very little surface area... : /) The bars were in and out of the oven at the exact time I needed to leave to pick up Drew. I left it at Caren's to cool (the directions said for an hour.)

I thought Drew would be thrilled to be getting out of school early but instead I had a very Grumpy Monkey on my hands.

"MOM! You should've come for me during Specials. Now I'm missing out on my second Friday Funday!"

Friday Funday is a reward for being good all week. I think it's like an extra recess, "And sometimes," Drew went on, "there are doughnuts!"

"I'm sorry bud. I'm sure there will be more of those for you but this is when the doctor can see you and we want to get you well so you can enjoy the long weekend!" I tried to sound chipper, being understanding of the fact that he got little to no sleep last night and was not feeling very good. Drew continued to badger me on the way to the doctor.

"How far is this place?" he demanded to know.

"We'll be there in ten minutes."

"How long is ten minutes?"

"600 seconds."

Once there he kindly greeted the staff and was equally a gentlemen to the nurse who let him use the stethoscope. We were shown into an exam room. Drew climbed on to the examining bed and began to beat a rhythm on it with his fists.

"Hey Buddy, let's not do that OK? It's really loud."

Drew continued.

Taking a little more of the "nice" out of my tone I made the request again, "Drew. I asked you not to do that son."

Drew defiantly looked right at me and began a new drum solo on the exam bed. Just as I felt my patience rush out of me, the doctor walked in. Drew's luck. While she examined him Dew kept looking at me.

"Mom? Are you growing a mustache?" he asked.

"No," I said through clenched lips. "My skin there is discolored." Grrr....

So I have discoloration, a darkening, on my skin. It is apparently very typical in darker skin toned people. It is also due to being older. I have other friends who have this as well but they have been blessed with a rather adorable spot on the cheek just near the corner of their eye or something of the like. Not for me. As it would be my dark spots are on my upper lip. I have to cover it with heavy duty sunscreen to keep it from getting darker and I usually have make up on over it. This day that was not the case.

Gasp. I went to the doctor's office with no make up. Every self respecting southerner would not dare to make such a faux pas but can I tell you the doctor was not wearing any herself?

Anywhoo, after discovering that Drew did in fact have a sinus infection and an ear infection we left to go and fill prescriptions. Drew opened the door bidding adieu to all.

"Hey Bug," I said while fumbling to get my keys out of my purse, "You want to be a gentlemen and hold the door for Mommy?"

The door shut in my face.

Apparently not.

I gave him a lecture on manners and how they do not go out the window just because you don't feel well. I called Aaron on the way to the store and learned he was at a very nearby gas station. We decided to swap. I would give him Drew and then would be able to wait at the pharmacy with out him.

I gave the prescription to the pharmacist who informed me that it would be ready in 20 minutes. What to do but shop? I turned around to be confronted with my greatest nemesis: a display of Tostito Lime Chips. With zero to no resistance I grabbed a bag.

I'll portion them out. No you won't, you are tired and frustrated and you will eat the whole bag. Quiet you.

I grabbed a few other groceries that we might need on this long holiday weekend: Brats, hot dogs, Klondike bars, smore ingredients. As I did I knew it was sabotage. I knew it was unwise but I continued to justify every purchase. Once home, I planned to put the chips in the pantry right away and save them for when we would grill the Brats. Aaron saw them in the grocery bag and opened them immediately. Several hands dove into the bag as they are a family favorite. My hands included!

"How was Drew? He was such a turd for me."

"Really? He's been in a great mood for me!" Aaron smiled.

I grabbed another chip.

"Fabulous. His malice must be just for me."

I ran over to Caren's to grab the blackberry bars. Just as I walked up to her door her husband pulled up.

He is probably thinking, Oh geez, is Michal ever NOT at my house?

When I walked in it was completely quiet. Caren's girls had all gone to various friends homes, sans the one on the mend who was down stairs watching TV. I quickly gathered up my stuff and left, knowing how precious these quiet moments alone with your husband can be.

For dinner we had leftover Italian Beef sandwiches (the recipe is under my recipe tab. Check it out because it is easy and AMAZING!) I added some steamed vegetables to the side to try and right all the wrong with the chips. Note: at this point the bag was now half empty. Also note that the whole family helped with that. After eating too much dinner the guys all retired to the basement to watch Guy T.V. (this is what I call the shows they watch. Basically stuff I am uninterested in) and I sat on the couch upstairs. I looked out the window. There was thunder and lightning and then a down pour of rain. I poured myself a glass of wine.

A perfect night to stay in and drink some wine, I sighed.

Just then my phone rang.

"Hey!" It was Caren. "I've been trying not to call you guys for the last two hours! Kevin and I were playing Risk and we kept thinking how much more fun it would be with you guys. We figured Aaron would love a little world domination."

"We are on our way!"

Due to the storm we drove over.

"Does Ms. Caren have a disease or something?" Drew asked.

"Yes, it's called McDowell-itis," I told him. "It's when you can't get enough of the McDowell family."

Just as I was thinking that Kevin and Caren had to have had enough Michal in their faces, they call us over! Yes! Resistance is futile!

Bear!!

2011-08-31T06:28:00.000-07:00

A few weeks before we moved into our home, the previous owner had a bear on her front deck. She woke in the night to the sound of the front gate opening and figure it was her son coming home from a night out with friends. She was surprised then to hear him coming up the stairs to enter the door on the deck instead of entering through the basement as was customary for him. She got out of bed to see what was going on and instead of her big teenage boy at the door she saw a big bear on the deck drinking the contents of her hummingbird feeder.

This story thrilled me! That would be the perfect way to view a bear, with walls and glass between you. I hoped all year to catch a glimpse and with a little jealousy and awe, read the sightings posted on the neighborhood chalk boards. Almost everyone I've known up here has seen one or two a year.

My first year went and the closest I got to a bear were my friends stories and the clues the bears would leave telling us they'd been there.

Last night Aaron and I were jolted awake by a crashing sound under our window.

"What the hell...?" Aaron whispered.

"Bear! The trash!" (We were still not awake enough to speak in complete sentences.)

We know the rules and typically we obey and keep our trash cans in the garage. A few times the trash has been so smelly that the whole house would stink up, particularly our bedroom as our room is directly about the garage. Do to the stinkiness we started putting it outside.

"We might get bears, honey." I warned.

"Nah. It's close to the house and the cars block it."

I think he has been secretly hoping to attract bears. Evidence: he has planted fruit bearing trees and blueberry bushes on our property.

"Babe....remember? Where there's berries, there's bears."

But he insisted and the trees and bushes were flourishing, until.... While the boys and I were in Texas I got a call from Aaron and he was fit to be tied:

"Those %$#@ deer ate my cherry trees!"

"Yes. That is what they do."

"I'm taking off from work tomorrow. I'm going to sit on the deck with my shotgun and if I see one of those @#$%-ers come near my tree.... Let's just say I'll have deer sausage for you when you get home."

I had a vision of Aaron on the deck with a gun and sixer of beer at his side.

"You've been alone on the mountain too long."

Breathe easy reader, he did nothing of the sort.

All of that to say I was not surprised at all to look the window and see a bear dumpster diving in our trash. I say "see" but it was so dark all I could see was it's shape.

"It's a bear!" I stage whispered.

At that, the shadow sort of bobbled and rolled over to my neighbors house. We went back to bed both delighted and disappointed. We could not get a good look at it. Still I was glad to finally have a bear story of my own.

One step closer... I could hear Caren say.

We had not laid our heads down but for a few minutes when the banshee-like yells of a fox were heard in the distance on the other side of the hill. As the sound drew nearer Drake added his baritone to the chorus.

"Nice." Aaron mumbled.

"Yes, he didn't make a peep about the bear but the fox....now there is something we need protection from."

Worst guard dog ever.

In his defense, the bear incident was on the other side of the house from him.

"What time is it?" I asked Aaron.

"3."

I tried to go back to sleep but rarely can after being interrupted. I laid there snuggled up to my hubby and petting my Smee-cat. Then I head another noise! I looked out the window and saw a mountain lion! I tried to wake Aaron up but he wouldn't budge. I saw that there was a mountain goat on the hill as well and the lion was stalking it. I didn't want to see what was about to happen but I couldn't turn away. Suddenly, the lion pounced on the goat. Just as quickly as that happened a herd of goats came out of no where and attacked the mountain lion! They were ripping his fur out of his back.

Then I woke up.

I spent the rest of the night (all three hours of it) on the threshold of sleep with one foot in a dream and one in the awake world. Drake's barks were woven into my dreams.

When my alarms went off, Drake was still barking and trying to bust through the door. I had a text from Caren: Bear.

All of the neighborhood dogs were barking like crazy. I let Drake out and the barking pretty much stopped.

I called Caren and told her what happened last night.

"It was about 3 when I heard noises outside of my house," she said. "I turned on my light and saw a bear. The light scared it and it took off towards your house..."

"Yes, thanks." (I think that was when I dreamt of the lion...)

"Our garage door was open though and I didn't want the bear to get our trash cans so I checked to see if he was around and then went out to shut the garage doors."

"Caren!"

"I know! I was so scared! I had left one can out because it only had boxes in it. The bear came back though (I had a vision of a bear ping ponging back and forth between our homes) and he spent a lot of time on that can. Evidently there was a bag in there. He tore it up and had a picnic in Pete's yard."

"Oh he is going to love that!"

"I picked it up this morning. But I texted you because with all of those dogs barking I could pick out Drake's bark and I wanted you to know why he was barking."

"You think the bear was still there?"

"Oh yeah. The dogs across the street were going NUTS!"

I just brought Drake in and he is still going nuts. I've never seen him so ramped up. He tore through the whole house and checked every room and has finally settled down enough to sit by me but not calm enough to lay down. Chill, dog.

The kids were so mad that we did not wake them up last night to see the bear but it happened so fast! I do understand their disappointment though. Since their daddy insisted on planting fruit trees, I am sure they will get their opportunity.

I Like My Jesus to Party

2011-08-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

One of the funniest scenes in Talladega Nights is when they are sitting around the dinner table talking about their perceptions of Jesus. One of the characters says, "I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party." It's funny but I also think it's true. I think Jesus enjoyed a good party and He loves when we get together with one another!

One thing Caren and I love to do together is throw a party. It's so fun to incorporate decorations, food, drink, favors, etc. into a theme! The preparation is always so fun but the best part is seeing everyone enjoy it all and getting to enjoy it with them. Especially, the food.

For the most part my diet consists of healthy fare. I could stand to eat more veggies and drink more water but I don't eat a lot of junk food. The problem with my diet is not so much what I eat but the WAY I eat. My portions are too big and when food is in front of me I eat and eat and eat.

That's where the parties get me. There is always yummy foods out on the table before you. When setting up for a party you try to have various places where one can grab food so that no matter where your guest chooses to do their socializing there is food with in reach. Do to the easy access of food at parties, I find myself mindlessly putting food in my mouth all night long. Party in my mouth! Woo hoo!

My nutritionist sent me home last week with several pamphlets on Social Eating. Here are some of the tips I found with in them:

At some events there is that ONE thing (or two, or three) that you just have to have! My friend, Jen, makes these super amazing mini-sandwiches, Slider type things. They are also super fattening. (Oops. I'm supposed to be changing my language. Instead of saying a certain food is "naughty" or "fattening" I should say that it is "high-calorie.") So Jen's sandwiches are high calorie but I don't want to be deprived of them. So what to do when I am faced with them at a party?

Eat them. That's right! Eat small portions of the selections that are really important to you and larger portions of low-calorie foods. So I can have Jen's sandwiches but just one instead of 4 or 5. I can have a slice of Caren's pear pie. A slice. A small slice. The rest of my plate should be loaded up with the stuff from the veggie or fruit platter.

Bring one or more low-calorie, nutritious side dishes to share that way you can ensure that there is something for you to eat that will not un-do all of the previous hard work. Also, you can make foods that you don't particularly like but that you know everyone else likes. For example: I don't like seafood. (Wish I did. I try all the time but something about it...blech.) A shrimp cocktail platter would be genius for me to bring! That's one less thing there that I would be tempted to eat. Or something with mushrooms in it. That would work for me too.

The pamphlet also suggests that I eat a high-fiber snack shortly before the party to prevent that famished feeling. I don't know if this would work for me because I don't eat for sustenance but for pleasure. So I don't know that it would really matter that I feel full. I think maybe the idea is that you are not so hungry that you start gorging food. I don't want to add any extra calories though so I think having several glasses of water is a good way to make yourself feel full plus I can get in that extra water I need and be more hydrated before taking down a few cocktails as well. Win-win-win.

They also suggest focusing on non-food activities such as being involved in events with the children. Boo. Terrible suggestion! I don't want to play with my kids at the party. The beauty of it is that we adults can sit and have a conversation because all of the kids are occupied with one another. Plus there are not always children at our parties. I could focus on playing a board or party game with the guests.

Plan ahead. If you know you are going to a party eat a light, low-cal lunch that day so in the evening you are available to take in more calories.

I highlighted a few other tips from the pamphlets as well as worked on my mind set. I started my Pillar of Positives on my kitchen wall. This is where I am writing positive things about myself in order to move out the negative talk and thinking.

The first day I wrote "nice stems." I thought, I love my legs! Well...except that I'm knock-kneed. I started to think what I might put for the next day and the next and I noticed that every time I gave myself a compliment I followed it with an insult. I like my face except for my big nose. I like my hour glass shape but I just wish I was not so short waisted or so big busted. It went on and on like this until the light bulb came on: I've decided that when I write my positive thing I will accept the compliment in full and not allow the negative half to follow. What happens is that I only hear and remember the negative part and forget all about the compliment. I want to practice muting that voice so that when others give me a compliment I can graciously except it with a "thank you" and feel good about.

So where is this negativity coming from? When did it start? As a child I remember being quite proud of my beauty but it was simple then. I had pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty smile. The body was just a little girl body. I think it was around Jr.high that I started being concerned about my body. My brother would tease me about being fat and I had a rather competitive friend that would brag about weighing less then I did. I'm sure these things had an effect on my concept of weight, beauty and how they applied to me but as an adult I know those things don't matter. As an adult I know that my brother was just being a big brother and that he is proud of me in every way. As an adult I know that my friends jabs at me had nothing to do about me and everything to do about her insecurities with herself.

I also think some of it has to do with trying to be a humble, Christ-like, woman. I would feel guilty when I looked in the mirror and was proud of what I saw so I would temper my pride with an insult. How that would be Christ-like I don't know. I imagine He was very comfortable in His skin and did not give a flip about the esthetics's of his physique. He was healthy and that was all He concerned Himself with in regards to it. After all, He knew His time in that body was to be brief. Isn't that true for all of us? These bodies are not permanent. Can I get an "Amen" or "Praise God" for that? So what is the obsession about them for?

Last night Caren hosted a back to school party/happy hour. She rented an inflatable slip-n-slide for the kids and there were water balloons and other fun things. There was also all kinds of yummy food. Knowing there was to be a party I had a delicious but small and light lunch of sliced tomato, mozzarella and fresh basil drizzled with balsamic vinegar and olive oil:

Picture of health!

Before the party I drank a few glasses of water while reviewing what I wrote on the board. The Pillar of Positives read:

Nice stems
Hour glass
Hair

Feeling healthy and (dare I say) pretty I headed over to join the festivities. Once there I had a little trouble with the chips and salsa because it was just a bag of chips sitting in front of me. To keep from grazing, I got a plate and dispensed the amount of chips I was going to allow myself to have on it. When the chips on my plate were gone I was done with them. I used a small plate when I served myself the main meal foods that way I kept each portion small. This made more caloric space for wine and a bit of dessert. I felt very good with the way I managed my eating while still being able to enjoy everything offered.

The best part of the party was not the food but the edifying fellowship with all of my friends. It was so good to see everyone; many of whom I had not seen all summer because of our travels. We all got caught up and shared laughs. I can't help but think that Jesus might look on the goodness of a time like that and say, "I like to party, so I like My people to party!"

The Return of Baking Day!!

2011-08-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

The kids are back in school and the comfort of routine is setting in once again. Drew tumbled out of the bus yesterday with a scowl and greeted me with: "Why didn't you bring the car? Now WE have to walk all the way up the hill!" (As if I was going to float up the hill...) On the chalk board wall in the kitchen I asked the boys to write one good thing about their day at school. The first day Drew wrote: We are Magic Makers! Gabriel wrote: It seemed short. Drew did not write anything for yesterday but Gabriel wrote that his one good thing was: I got to go home.

"You are so full of it," I told him. "I know you had fun and happy moments at school today." I know because Caren saw him there and he was all smiles and cheer! Ha!

This morning was a bit of a struggle to get down to the bus stop because we had a late night; but then Caren and I left to work out at Red Rocks. She met with her Nazi of a trainer and I went to hike the trail. Red Rocks is one of my favorite places to hike! The huge rock formations and their red hue are just so gorgeous! My heart can't help but swell with praise and admiration for God's creativity.

The first time I hiked it I was afraid to go alone. I was afraid of critters, i.e. mountain lions and rattlesnakes and I was afraid of people, i.e. rapists. Today I forged the trail on my own with no hesitation. Colorado has had a ton of rain this summer and so all the foliage is lush and tall. The tall brush made it harder to see what's around the corner and I wondered what was hiding with in it. I was not afraid but my mind kept dipping it's toe in the thought of what's in there? My suspicions of critters a-foot were confirmed when noises of movement came from somewhere nearby off the trail. It was something large to be sure.

I stopped.

It stopped.

I looked down over the edge of the trail and saw two little fawns. Just as I started out again the doe of the fawns crossed right in front of me. She was about 15 feet away and she stopped to eat. I slowly approached while taking pictures. She never moved. I got about 5 feet from her and snapped a shot. I was ready to move past her but she just sat there looking at me. Deer seem docile but they can cause damage to a person. Their hooves are sharp and their haunches and legs are strong. People have been killed by deer (usually bucks though) and so I backed up a little and waited. She stared me down and then finally moved on.

I continued on my hike and encountered 6 rabbits at various points of the trail. I finished the whole hike in about 40 minutes. Not bad for a rugged terrain.

After the hike Caren and I met up and returned to her home for Baking Day. Followers may recall that Baking Day is usually on Tuesday but we've changed it to Wednesday this year. (Girlfriends who avoid calling me on Tuesday's because of my baking: take note.) Before going in we were talking about our weight loss goals and my frustration with how things are going for me in that department.

While hiking I noticed that nearly every guy I passed checked me out. When I see myself in the mirror though I just see...Yuck and I wonder what is wrong with these guys! Just as quickly I ask myself, what is wrong with YOU. Loved ones and strangers alike compliment me all the time. Why can I not recieve that? Why can I only believe the negative bemoans in my own head? Why do I keep telling myself negative things?

"I posted a quote of Olivia's from her Fitness magazine interview that says 'Weight loss starts in the mind.' This is exactly what my nutritionist was getting at on Monday. I just don't even want to get into it though!" I confessed to Caren.

"What do you mean? With your nutritionist? With yourself?"

"Both," pathetically I teared up. "I don't want to hash that out right now."

"No. You want to play!"

"Yes."

"It's like this though, you know when you were young and you had that shoe box that you would put things in that you thought were special and you wanted to save? Then when you reached a new phase in life you went back through that shoe box and you were like, 'Why am I saving this? This is lame!' Like baby clothes! You will save several outfits that you thought were so cute and then when you pull them out you're like 'Gross! This is stained and old or out dated. I'm not putting that on my kid!' When you start to go through that 'stuff' for why you don't eat right and why you have such a poor self image, you may look at that stuff and think 'That's lame. Why am I hanging on to that?'"

"You're right. That is very well put. Let's bake."

(People, tack that little nugget to your bathroom mirror.)

Today we had a small showing. Not everyone is back into the swing just yet. Laurel came to bake our bread, (yea!) Caren made granola and I made snickerdoodles to treat the boys with after school and to share with my Evita cast mates at rehearsal tonight.

I mixed the butter, sugar, and eggs; doubling the recipe as I went. Next was the flour.

We mill our own flour and we use different types of grain for different types of baked goods.

"You should you Soft Flour for those," Laurel suggested.

"I only have a little of that left, " Caren said. "You'll have to mill the rest."

So into the pantry I went to put the Soft grain into the mill. It's not that big of a deal really. You just pour it into a machine and flip a switch. Wa-la. While that was being taken care of I went and added my other ingredients.

"1 tsp of nutmeg," I read allowed.

"You don't put nutmeg in snickerdoodles," Caren said. (She is not a fan of the spice.)

"That's what the recipe says."

"Well does it call for 1 tsp or is that after you've doubled it?"

"That's the double."

"I would use 1/2. Nutmeg is not something you ever want to double."

Taking a smell of the nutmeg I agreed.

"It's pretty spicy. Half a teaspoon for my friend Caren."

"Thank you."

I retrieved the flour from the mill and brought the finished product into the kitchen.

"Use this," Laurel said as she set a scale in front of me.

"Why?"

"You are doing so good so far, Michal. We want to help you to not make any mistakes," Caren said.

Baking is not my forte to be sure. I'm good for some laughs though!

"When you mill it the flour gets a lot of air in it so if you measure out a cup of flour it won't be exactly right. A cup of flour will weigh 6 oz," explained Laurel.

I needed 3 1/2 cups. I weighed each cup.

"There. Three and half!"

"Now add another 1/4 cup," she instructed.

"Why is this now? Oh wait..." I always forget this: "For altitude." Laurel and I said together.

Everything was mixed and I consulted my recipe once again. I needed to make the dough into balls and then refrigerate it for 30 minutes to an hour. I hate that. Boo. I obeyed and made little balls of snickerdoodle dough. After 75% of the dough was made into little balls Caren asked me where I was putting those balls.

"Just in the bowl. I have to refrigerate them first."

"Oh, I was just asking because I didn't know if we were going to have to fight over a spot in the oven or not." Then she started laughing.

"What?"

"Michal, did the recipe say to make it into balls before refrigerating them?"

"Yes," I said rather indignantly and then went to reference the recipe again. "It says here make dough into a ball....and refrigerate.... Oh my lands. I am such a lame-o! What the heck?!" We all laughed as I always, always, always seem to over look or misunderstand some direction in a recipe.

"Oh Michal! You are absolutely the cutest thing!" Caren laughed.

I agreed and lumped all the balls together in a bowl and tossed it into the fridge.

In the end the snickerdoodles turned out lovely! The nutmeg addition was just right and Caren was so right to not have me double it. It would definitely have been over powering.

I am considering changing my chalkboard wall from the kids writing what went well that day to a Pillar of Positives. They can write what went well at school and I can write positive things about myself. Hopefully, this will help to move that old negative stuff out of my "shoe box."

"A" For Attitude

2011-08-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

"Mom! Mom! Are you awake?" Drew stage whispered in my ear at 6:00 this morning. "I can't find any shorts to wear!"

"There are folded clothes on the couch in the basement," I mumbled. "What time is it?"

"6:00," Aaron growled.

"Drew, it's too early. Go back to bed."

"But I want to get ready for my first day of school!"

"It's too early..." I repeated as I tumbled out on to the floor and fumbled for my glasses. Once I am awake there is no turning back.

I tried to help Drew quietly get ready so that Gabe could sleep but...

"HEY! Turn out the light!" Gabriel shouted covering his head with a pillow.

"But I can't see where my shoes are Brother!"

Gabe, like me, was not going to be able to go back to sleep and so he made the slow climb out of the top bunk and started to get ready too.

"Oh good grief, boys! You are going to have hours to just sit around."

Drew was dressed, fed, lunch made and back pack on by 6:20.

"Awesome, son. School starts in 3 hours. Why don't you take your back pack off and relax."

But he couldn't relax. Never has that boy been so excited for school! Last year I was chasing him up the hill when he tried to make a run for it when the bus pulled up.

"We have a Runner!" Caren would announce with a laugh while I hauled up the hill to catch the little turd.

So this is definitely a welcome improvement! I hope he keeps up the enthusiasm but starts keeping better hours...

Drew has a tendency for nose bleeds and had a doosey yesterday. This morning there was some residual bleeding.

"Oh...I hope I don't have a bloody nose at my first day of school..." he whined.

"You'll be fine buddy and I'm sending your medicine just in case."

It's Aaron and I's 13 year anniversary and so he took the day off. We decided to eschew the bus due to the large amounts of school supplies, and the whole family rode to school together. Drew talked (shouted) the whole way there and Gabriel confessed to being apprehensive.

"I heard my teacher is kind of tough," he said tentatively.

"I heard that he awesome!" I encouraged, "He is one of the school favorites. You are going to have a great year!" Please God, let him have a great year...

At the school I dropped off the medicine for Drew's nose with the nurse. While in the front office teachers came in enthusiastically greeting Drew and Gabe. Everyone seemed pumped and optimistic! When Drew got to his class we surveyed the desks to see what students were sitting where. He clapped and cheered for friends that he made last year that would continue on with him this year. He told his teacher (the best of the best, I must say) how excited he was to be there and to have her for his teacher. We hugged and kissed him good bye. Drew is going to have a stellar year.

Next we took Gabe to his class. His teacher told him to find his name card and that he could then pick where he wanted to sit. Gabriel found a spot on the second row in the center. His class is mixed with 4th and 5th graders. Gabriel is small for his age as it is and seeing him up against some of the 5th graders made me nervous for him. Academically, I know he will do great. Socially.... Eek! I told Gabriel goodbye from the doorway and wished him a great day. Aaron went over to tell him goodbye and they slapped each other a "five." No hugs and kisses here. Gotta keep it cool, yo.

After getting everyone off I had a visit with my nutritionist.

Hello Scale! Please love me today.

"You lost 1/2 a pound this week. Not bad."

"Not great either," I countered.

"The scale is fickle. Let's go to my office and figure this out."

I ate very healthy this week. No deprivation but healthy choices and good portions.

"You have a caloric deficit this week so that is good and you got plenty of exercise."

"But I'm not losing."

"Last night you ate out."

"Yeah, a friend took me out to celebrate my birthday belated. I feel like I made pretty healthy choices with my meal though we did have dessert. It was split three ways though."

"Well, I'm not making excuses for you but when you eat out it tends to be saltier and so there is water retention. You probably lost more this week then a 1/2 lb. How did you do with recording your diet?"

"I only did 3 and a half days..."

"This week lets shoot for 5."

She then had me take a quiz and the results were all sorts of labels for the kind of eater and dieter I am.

"You are a Doubtful Dieter. Why don't you think it will work?"

"Because it hasn't. Even when I am on top of my diet and exercise I get stuck. Back in Texas I was very good about things and I worked out 4-5 times a week. I could never get past 135. Now you and the doctor are trying to get me down to 130 and I don't see how I can do it. I'm so far beyond 135 as it is I don't see how I can get under it." (She told me they actually think 120 is a very realistic goal for me. I didn't even weigh that in high school!)

We looked over some of the other quiz results.

"You are a social eater. You don't snack much at home but when food is set in front of you, you have to eat it."

"Yes. I'd say that's right."

"Well, you are not going to stop socializing so let's talk about how you can manage these situations."

She gave me a pamphlet (that I have not read yet) with tips for social eating. She encouraged me to be free to eat and enjoy my meals. Ignore when my friends encourage me to eat more then I should. Pay attention to when I am full.

"I'm going out to lunch with my husband for our anniversay right after this."

"Wonderful! What will you have?"

"I don't know. I don't know what is on the menu and I'm worried about that."

"Can you choose to eat a salad?'

I made a face. "Not very festive."

"What would you like to order?"

"I don't know if it's on the menu but I would like pasta with some sort of creamy white sauce and bread."

"There will be wine?"

"Yes. We are going to a winery so...that's a given."

"How about dessert?"

"We don't always order dessert but since we are celebrating our anniversary I am guessing that may happen."

"I think that sounds like a great lunch! Go and enjoy it! BUT eat it slowly and savor every bite. Pay attention to when you are satisfied and take the rest home. Have dessert but not if you are going to beat yourself up with guilt on the way home. Do you do that? Do you feel guilty after eating foods you label as 'bad?'"

"Not guilty...ugly. I feel gross and ugly after eating too much or breaking a diet."

"We are not on any kind of 'diet' that is depriving. I want you to enjoy food and eat what you like but you need to eat smaller portions, eat the food for the right reasons, stop when you are full and satisfied. Nothing is going to change for you physically until you change what's going on for you mentally. No one is better or lesser of a person because of their size."

"I don't think that of anyone else but myself. I have friends who are more over weight then me but I think they are absolutely beautiful because their beautiful personalities make them so. I think to myself, 'she's such a little hottie and she has a belly...why can't I pull that off?"

We talked about what that implies... Ug. I don't even want to rehash that.

So two more weeks. I am to record my meals, keep exercising, make plans and practice what to do in social situations, enjoy my food, and love myself.

Aaron and I had a lovely lunch and I tried to apply what we discussed. I ate half of my portobello panini and had a salad on the side. We had a dessert flight, which were chocolate pairings with various dry wines. The portions were small (and delicious!) and I left our meal with a doggy bag and feeling loved by my husband and content with myself.

The boys missed their bus. Sort of. They were out front to get on the bus but the front office ladies saw Caren and her oldest daughter (a drop dead gorgeous bomb shell) waiting out front to pick up her youngest. They mistook the young bomb shell for ME and told the boys that I was out there to take them home. Obviously I was not there and so when the buses left they had to call Aaron and I to pick them up. The boys took it all in stride. I did too! They thought I was that hot little number?!

It was a good day. A great day. I am praying that the boys choose to keep their good attitudes about school and that I can choose to have a good attitude about me. Positive talk only around here.

Destined For Fatness

2011-08-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

My doctor had recommend I see a nutritionist due to my body habitually experiencing blood sugar crashes. He felt this was a "fast track" to diabetes and prescribed I lose 10 lbs. Really Doc? Like I haven't been trying to do that since I was 14 years old.

Prior to seeing my nutritionist I visited Texas and added an extra 6 lbs. Sweet. So now I have to lose 16 lbs. Also while away, my husband threw my scale away.

"Where is it?" I asked upon realizing that it was gone.

"Where is what?"

"My scale. Where did you hide it?"

"I didn't hide it."

"No. Tell me you didn't... Did you throw it away?!"

He smiled and laughed. I laughed too but not because it was funny. More because I was freaked out. How will I know if I gained? Rather how would I know how much I gained? Or lost.

The 6 lb gain was confirmed for me at the nutritionists office. She instructed me to record my diet daily on http://www.sparkpeople.com/. I am to keep my caloric intake for each day at 1600 calories. .com

"What can you do for exercise?" she asked me.

"Well, I'm dancing in a production of Evita so that will be good exercise...."

"It will be great but what will you do when the show is over? Is there something you can guarantee yourself to do every day?"

"I can walk 3 miles. There is a loop in our neighborhood that is 3 miles long. I could do that with my dog every day."

"That would be wonderful for you! The fastest way to lose weight is to work out the largest muscle in your body and that would be your legs. So keep track of what you eat on sparkpeople and walk 3 miles. This will be an excellent start. Come back in 2 weeks and we'll see how you are doing."

During that first week my friend Lesley was with me. She was faithful to walk with me every morning. In addition we hiked, paddle boated, and ate healthy every day. The following week I was on my own. I did not walk 3 miles every day but I did manage to get out there 3 or 4 times that week.

The day of my appointment, I was so excited to get to weigh in. I had lost 3 lbs!

"That's very good in two weeks," she said.

We reviewed my diet. She asked what I learned from recording what I ate every day.

"I don't eat very many vegetables," I observed. "And my eating picked up when my friend Lesley left."

"Why is that?"
"I was bored and lonely. My husband was out of town as were many of my friends."
"So you are an emotional eater. You eat for entertainment at parties or to cheer yourself up."

"Yes, I do. I like to "set the stage" and food is usually involved. I make it look pretty and inviting and then I eat it. All."

So my mission for the next three weeks was to add vegetables ("Buy pre-cut veggies or the steamers in the frozen food section") and to pay attention to my emotional eating. I was supposed to "score" it and decide if the food would really make me feel better or not.

"Sometimes eating to cheer yourself up is OK but sometimes the need is not that great and/or you intend to cheer yourself up but instead make yourself feel worse with guilt for over eating."

Problem: During this three weeks I would be spending part of the time in NY followed by out of town company.

"You can still do these things despite all of that," she said. "See you in three weeks."

Three weeks with no scale.

I could tell I was gaining though. My shorts were too tight.

How is this possible? I've walked all over the city of New York. I've been hiking and horseback riding almost every day!

But I knew. I felt fat every day in NY but one. The morning after that I asked Aaron, "How could I feel so great one day and the very next feel like a Texas Cow?"

He too was baffled as he always is by my self image. God love him, that man adores me and he loves the way I look.

"You don't need a scale to tell you if you look good or not," Shalah told me. "Just ask your husband how he thinks you look."

I tried it.

"Baby, I feel like I've gained weight. I feel disgusting and gross. How do you think I look? Do I look bigger?"

Wrapping his arms around me he whispered in my ear, "I think you look like a woman should. I think you are a Hot Mama!"

"You are amazing," I told him. Why couldn't/can't I believe him? It's easier for me to believe that he is delusioned and biased by his love for me then for me to believe that I am the one who is delusional.

Back to school shopping with my friend's young ones, we stopped at a bra store. My sides were bruised from the under wire in my bra and I wanted to get remeasured. I was appalled when the sales lady handed me a certain size bra to try on.

"Is this for me?" I asked. She confirmed that it was.

With young women present, I realized I had to be careful of how I responded to my new size.

"I pretended that it didn't really bother me," I told my sister. "Though I wanted to cry and protest."

"Sissy, it really makes me sad that you have to 'pretend' to like your body."

Today I weighed in with my nutritionist.

"How do you think you did?" she asked as I stepped on the scale.

"I think I gained. My clothes feel tighter."

"Well...you're right. You gained two and half pounds this week."

"So I'm basically back where I started."

We sat in her office while she gave me a pep talk.

"It only takes about 600 extra calories a day to put on 2.5 lbs in 3 weeks. That's not a lot of food. Being on vacation and having company....that will do it. Things were not typical for you."

"But they won't be. My brother and later my brother-in-law are coming next month, then it's the Holidays...'Untypical' is more the norm."

"It is for many. That's why Americans keep getting overweight. We are waiting for this or that to start or stop for us to be able to manage our weight."

"I'm tired of that though. I'm tired of my weight being such a big deal for me and of eating right and exercising and the results being thwarted in so little time just due to some small life event. I don't think my habits are all that bad..."

"They're not," she agreed. "We need to work on your expectations and we need to plan better but all in all you live healthy and you look healthy. What we are doing now is a preventative against diabetes. We are not trying to improve your look so much as your health."

"I want both."

We talked about making a plan for when company is in town or for when I go out of town or for when I'm bored. It's ridiculous. I have an excuse to eat for every situation I'm at in life.

"Basically you need to realize that this is not going to happen fast for you. You need to know that and accept that reality. You were not recording your diet while traveling and while company is in town. Let's do that again for a month. Get back to walking the 3 miles. How about I see you in 2 weeks?"

I blinked back the tears, frustrated with the weight gain and unhappy with not having a scale.

"One week then? That way you can see how you improve this week and be encouraged."

She's sure I'm going to lose weight this week.

I IM'd Aaron when I got home:

"What goes up and down more then the stock market?" I asked.

"Oil."

"My weight."

"Ah...how'd it go today?"

"I gained 2.5 lbs."

"I see."

"It seems I'm destined for fatness."

"Nah."

"Yah. In fact, I may adopt a fat German lady accent. How else can I sexy this up?"

"Nice."

No Kind of Dancer

2011-08-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

We landed in CO with in minutes of our friends from Texas who came in for a visit. I had a great time this past week with my girl Jenn and her kiddos! We hiked, rode horses, swam at the lake and more. Basically we played hard. There is still more to do so we look forward to their next visit.

Our guests were to leave early, early this morning and I had rehearsal scheduled so we all went to bed early last night. With in minutes of our heads hitting the pillow; a yowling scream broke the nights silence. It made me grab my man tighter and every hair on my body stand on end.

"Mountain lion," Aaron whispered.

It screamed again and again and again. The sound seemed to get closer and sounded to be coming from the direction of Caren's house. I thought about calling her but did not want to wake anyone up. Not a single dog barked but as the screams moved on I did hear the dog across the street howl a few times.

"Maybe it was a fox," Aaron mused.

"We've heard foxes though and that was not as staccato. Needs more bark to sound like a fox."

The red fox makes a crazy sound. Something like a dog bark, cat yowl and a woman's scream combined.

Needless to say I did not sleep well. I googled "mountain lion screams" in the morning. I did find a recording of a mountain lion in heat that sounded dead on to what we heard last night. The only thing is that I think they have cubs in the spring and I don't think their gestation period is very long so...maybe it was a fox with a cold or something...Ha!

Since I was so tired I decided to grab a cup of coffee on the way to dance rehearsal. Though I can not handle caffeine well (blood sugar crashes and arthritis) I knew Starbucks still has a little trace of it in their decaf. I figured it would be enough to give me a kick. Plus all that sugar!!!

Darn the drive thru! They can never hear right. I got the real deal this morning. I flew down the road to rehearsal. I felt like I was going fast and everything else was going slow. On top of it all my right eye was aggravated by something. I had hoped it would work out before I got there but instead it seemed more inflamed then ever. I removed my contacts and wore my glasses instead.

My prescription is one of those wonky high, high, high kind so when I put on my glasses it's like looking through a fish bowl. My depth perception is off and my peripheral vision is nill. When I looked down at my feet they seemed sooooo far awaaaaay. Add the swirly, buzz, tornado going on in my body from the caffeine and you have one screwed up little dancer. Woo Hoo! My poor cast mates.

I'm trying so hard to be a good girl but I can't help but make wise cracks. It's a stress reliever for me and since dancing is so out of my element the jokes fly. A few here and there is fun for all but I'm finding myself to be obnoxious and so I'm sure others do as well. The coffee did not help this either. Again, I shake my fist at you Starbucks! I should've double checked before pulling away from there. Curses!

The effects seemed to wear off just in time for our last dance of the day. Since I missed last week I was learning a couple of new dances. This last one is not difficult really but I just could not get it. I can't stand when I don't know what to do or where to go. I really can't stand when I can not manage to do very simple moves. It was extremely frustrating for me. In one of the dances we move together in a cluster. In order to stay together we connect with a hand on a shoulder or elbow. This was helpful because the hand on my shoulder could give me gentle direction and lead me to where I should go. I truly was grateful for it but also peeved because we could move smoother if I knew where to head.

"How was rehearsal?" Aaron asked when I got home.

"I would not have given up our time in NY for the world but it would have been nice to be on the same page with everyone today. I was a mess. A total embarrassment."

"You are too hard on yourself. Everyone knows you missed. I'm sure they are allowing for your mistakes so you should too."

Good advice, I'm sure, but I felt no more comforted. Being new to this theater group I feel like this is one big audition. I totally had it in my head that if I did not get the part of Eva then I would be asked to be in chorale. I never EVER dreamed that dance ensemble would be an option. I almost feel like they just want to see what I can do which is rather egotistical really. I'm sure the added pressure is imaginary. I am loving it but...whew! Today kicked my butt.

I am exhausted from all of the playing we did this week, from that darn mountain lion, and from nearly 4 hours of dancing. A nap is needed.

Must. Get. Pillow.

Mountain Woman Takes Manhattan: The Final Chapter

2011-08-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

On my first trip to New York the "hands down best day" was when Lesley and I took a walking tour, guided by Ben, through The Village, Little Italy, China Town and then across the Brooklyn Bridge. I so wanted to do this with Aaron so on our last full day in Manhattan we set out to sort of re-enact the same tour. Aaron wanted to start further up at the 9/11 Memorial, then to Wall Street, across the Brooklyn Bridge and then end in Little Italy for lunch.

When I had last been to Ground Zero it was a big hole. A construction site. I had not planned on visiting it then but Les and I had been close and so felt we should go. Now there is almost a whole building erected. I don't know what it was about that but this time there was so much more emotional. As Aaron and I viewed the bronze wall mural across from the site, the tears started to well up. There were tourists in hard hats preparing for a tour of the Memorial site. Aaron checked the schedule to see if we could join a tour. While he checked I turned away from him so he could not see how hard I was crying. I did not want to keep him from doing anything on the trip that he had hoped to do. Thankfully the next tour was not until 11 and, since we hoped to be in Little Italy by lunch, we had to forgo it. As we walked away toward Wall Street I really started sobbing. We couldn't walk away fast enough for me. Ug. Maybe one day I'll be able to do a tour but... whatever it was. It just wasn't in me this go 'round.

An unfortunate thread that weaved through our trip was the stock market. What a mess it was last week! (This week isn't looking any better.) I wanted to unplug every single one of those ridiculous monitors back at the hotel because all it talked about was the stock market. Since this is a major part of my husband's job he could not help but pay attention and be effected by it. There was someone he left basic instructions with at work but when the Market was behaving like it was he had to make calls, texts and conferences to tend to them. At one point the battery on his cell phone was dying and he had a conference call. We dove into a T-Mobil where Aaron bought a charger and then asked the clerk if he could plug in here because the conference call was in one minute. I did some people watching while he took his call and then we resumed our tour.

Aaron felt awful but even though we are on vacation the world did not stop. He wished the Market had not been so darn dramatic on our trip but...so it was. Anywhoo, all of that to say Wall Street was all the more interesting that day due to the roller coaster it was on. CNN news was there as were other stations, reporting about the chaos on the floor from outside the stock exchange. There was an ambulance there.

"I wonder what happened..." I thought aloud. "Some poor guy probably had a heart attack," I said to Aaron.

"Or committed suicide," he said.

Geez.

Onward we walked.

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge you see some great views! It's also very hot. Whew! I thought this would be another great scene for a goofy picture but Aaron was not "in." We finally made it across and then took the subway back to Manhattan. We accidentally got a train going the wrong way though so we had that to finagle... Once on the right train we were serenaded by some old guys singing old Motown hits. This is another thing I love about this city! Yea! It's like in the movies!

We made it to our destination and walked through China Town to Little Italy. A friend of mine had recommended we eat at a place called Angelo's on Mulberry St. (Dr. Seuss!) Aaron and I stood at a corner on Mulberry St.

"Which way now?" Aaron asked.

"I don't actually know but I'm sure we could just ask someone." Of course Aaron does not want us to talk to the New Yorkers but I told him there is one thing New Yorkers love and that's giving directions.

"Excuse me," I asked the nearest gentleman next to me. "Do you know where Angelo's is?"

"Yeah. It's right theh," he answered in a perfect New York accent. I looked in the direction he gestured but didn't see it.

"Where?"

"Right theh! You tellin' me you don' see it?" I looked again.

"Oh! There it is! Wonderful! Thanks so much!"

"No problem." I wished I'd had a more challenging quest for him. Angelo's was across the street and three venues down. The food is great there BTW and so is the atmosphere with waiters passionately talking to one another in Italian. I reviewed our map of the city while we ate.

"Hey, The Empire State Building is a block from our hotel. Maybe that really is the Empire State Building outside our window."

"It just doesn't seem old enough," Aaron said. "Maybe it is..."

We walked home through what was supposed to be The Village but it was not the same as when Ben took me. He had showed me such a pretty area and had trivia to share. I had no idea where we were really and it just seemed like any other part of the city. The people watching was still rich! At one intersection we pedestrians had the "go" to cross but a bus decided it was going to go as well. The bus inched through the intersection trying to force it's passage but this one woman was not going to have it.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" she yelled up to the driver as she hit the grill of the bus with her shopping bag. "We're walking here!" she shouted.

Awesome.

Back home we showered and changed for a show. We had tickets to see Jersey Boys at 8 and had originally planned to go to dinner first. Since our lunch was later than we thought it would be neither of us were hungry. I also had two big blisters on the bottom of my feet.

"Why didn't you pack tennis shoes?" Aaron asked.

"I packed the same two pairs of shoes the last time I came here. We took the subway more though."

I had heels for the dress I was to wear that night. Aaron was worried about my feet and so we decided to grab a cab. To catch a cab on a Friday night in NYC is not easy. We still had walking to do. Looking fabulous, we walked in the general direction of the Theater District until Aaron was successful in hailing a cab.

"How are your feet?" he asked.

"I'm good!"

He directed the cab to a wine bar near the theater where we could have a light meal and cocktails. Since we had yet to get our silly NY pic for the day I thought we could do something in the taxi.

"Since it's just us in a cab you have to make a funny face," I instructed.

"That's you being silly?"

"Yep."

"Oh Baby!" I laughed at him. These things are good for him. I'm certain!

The wine bar we went to was called Casellula which means "little house" or something like that. We ordered a variety of cheeses. I can't recall now what kind of wine we had...some sort of white and then with dessert I had a Pinot Noir. It was just right and we were only a block from the theater so there was no problem with walking. Well...as no problem as you can get in heels with blisters.

Jersey Boys was super and our seats were great! I boo-hooed through the whole thing, as I always do when I watch people perform. I just wanted to run on stage and hug all of them and shout "I am so PROUD of you!!!!" They're doin' it!!!

Show over we headed back to the hotel. Funny thing about sore feet: You would think resting them would help but it only made each step more painful! I figured we would walk a bit until Aaron could hail another cab as we did on the way there.

"How are your feet?" Aaron asked.

"Um...I'm OK right now..." I winced. We walked on and quickly found ourselves in Times Square.

"This is out last chance to walk through Times Square," Aaron said.

"So it is," I sighed. It is fun to be there at night! I figured we would walk through and THEN he would get a taxi.

"You doing OK?" he asked as we came out the other side of it.

Not wanting to make him feel bad I said, "Yeah. I'll make it," still thinking we were getting a cab and meaning I'd make it until we got it. Aaron understood it to mean that I could keep going. With each step I was in more pain and getting more ticked off as I realized we were not getting a cab. Finally we were about 3 blocks from our hotel and Aaron asked about my feet again.

"They hurt. Badly." I snapped.

"Well, why didn't you tell me? You want me to get us a cab?"

"NOW? We are only 3 blocks away. I'm finishing it now."

Once back at Hotel Wacky I turned on Aaron. "Why were you concerned enough about me walking in heels TO the theater but not BACK?"

"I asked and you always said you were fine."

"I was fine knowing that a cab was soon to be in our future!"

"I'm sorry I had no idea that's what you meant. I still don't understand why you didn't bring tennis shoes."

"I told you these are the same shoes I wore last trip and my feet were fine. Of course we took the SUBWAY that trip!"

"Well this is not how I hoped our last night here would end."

"Agreed."

We sat on the bed for a bit. I rubbed my sore feet and Aaron his sore ego.

"You screwed up and I screwed up," I told him. "It was not fair of me to assume you understood what I was thinking. Let's end the trip the way we started. Let's go back to Blaggers."

We changed clothes and headed back out.

"How are your feet now?"

"Brutal." I growled, still not done seething.

The bartender that was there the first night was there this night as well. He remembered us and asked what all we had done on our visit. Our anger dissolved after I had a Stella and Aaron a Guinness and after re-playing all the fun times we had together. Our Irish bar tender set up the shot glasses again.

"We are still celebrating a birthday," he said with his fabulous accent.

This time he set up four glasses as his other 'tender (from Dublin) was going to join us.

"Something sweet, right?"

The next morning Aaron and I set out to buy souvenirs for the boys and to solve the mystery about the Empire State Building once and for all. We found some books for the kids and NYPD ball caps then walked a block over to where our map marked the Empire State Building. It was indeed the same building we saw from our window. The one thing that was actually nice about that hotel was that we apparently had a great view the whole time but didn't even know it. Ha! Don't ask. We felt pretty lame.

We found ourselves exhausted and well spent on the whole scene and so called for Deano to pick us up an hour early.

"Yous enjoy your visit?" he asked.

"Very much."

Mountain Woman Takes Manhattan Part 2

2011-08-08T15:19:00.000-07:00

We woke up early our first morning in New York. Hotel Pennsylvania continued to impress (please note my sarcasm) with their Continental Breakfast. The breakfast room allowed entry with a key. There were about 8 cocktail sized laminate tables, two chairs per table. In the corner was of course the TV tuned into CNN. (Ug.) The coffee was nasty. There were bagels and cream cheese and a variety of croissants and muffins. I think there was orange juice...the end.

After breakfast we rode the sketchy elevators down to the lobby which always had a winding line to the front desk. Always. It looked like the lobby was an airport. That place was so weird it was actually a relief to get out onto the crazy streets of New York. The one good thing that did come of that place was that it had a magazine on the desk that had a map of Manhattan in the back. It included subway information. I carefully tore it out and folded it into my purse.

Armed with our map we headed towards The Metropolitan Museum via Central Park. Aaron figured we could walk the whole way.

"Well, we can...but I think the subway would be faster," I said.

"Yeah, but we'll see more of the city this way."

I did not disagree with that and I wanted Aaron to see and be immersed in as much of the city as possible. We passed through Times Square which is always good for pictures and people watching. I was keeping my photo mission in mind while we went. At one corner I saw a guy dressed in a Mickey Mouse costume.

"Oh! Let's take a picture with him! The kids will love it!" I posed with Mickey. As soon as the picture was snapped he held out a bag asking for a tip.

"What? No man, I'm not paying for a picture I took with my own camera," I said as I started walking on. Aaron stayed back though and gave the guy all his loose change.

"No more engaging people on the streets of New York," he said as he grabbed my arm and we hoofed it on.

"Pooh," I pouted. "That's half the fun."

Once we got to The Met we were surprised to see two long lines winding out of its doors. The last time I came we just walked in. It was almost 10:00 and the museum opened at 9:30. I could not remember what time it had been the last time I came. We obediently fell into line though. Others were confused as well. Apparently the line was for security, who was checking everyone's bags. Luckily the line was fast and we moved through quickly. By quickly I mean in 45 minutes but that seemed very fast for a line of this length.

While in line I told Aaron that the museum is actually free.

"They give a suggested price but you can just give them a dollar if you want. It's just a donation. So don't pay the suggested price."

At the ticket counter was a sign that read: Recommended price $25/Adult

"See," I said pointing out the sign, "It's just a recommendation."

Aaron asked the clerk for 2 tickets.

"The recommended price is $50," the clerk said and then Aaron paid it.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

We pressed on.

Aaron loved all of the art! It was so great to show him my favorite pieces from my last visit. I could not wait to show him his favorite artists as well. It's amazing to see these famous works in person. Aaron carefully examined a Van Gogh who slathered on his paints so thick that if it was a dessert you knew it would be rich. Amazing texture! I was inspired by so many works. Can't wait to paint!!!

I kept looking for a hall I'd seen before that was full of marble sculptures. This would be the perfect place for our silly New York pic. After consulting our map and then an attendant the hall was finally found. There were Greek and Roman busts of various philosophers, ornate columns and sarcophagus'. And then I found it. A sculpture of some one...I did not even look at the plaque...who was naked. There he was in all of his marble glory.

"This is it, Babe. Let's take our picture with that guy. We'll pose like we are shocked by his nudity."

"No."

"Come on! It will be hilarious," I implored as we moved around the sculpture.

"I'll take your picture with it but I'm not getting in it."

"Nope. The rule is that you have to be in the picture too."

"That means we have to ask someone else to take it and I already told you that we are not going to talk to any more random people on the streets."

"We're not on the streets," I argued. "We are in a museum and there are other tourists. Look...she looks nice and Mid-Western. Excuse me, would you mind taking our picture with this sculpture?"

By this time we were at the back of it.

"Sure," she said as I handed over my camera and Aaron sighed in defeat.

"Oh, perfect! We'll just take it from his back side. Remember to pose goofy, Baby."

Mountain Woman Takes Manhattan Part 1

2011-08-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

For my birthday my Good Man took me on a trip to NY. He arranged for my mom to come up and watch the boys so that it would just be the two of us. I had only been to NY one other time, about 2 years ago, with my friend, Lesley. We stayed with Olivia and Ben in their adorable little apartment near Harlem. The two of them took us all over the city. It was awesome having our own private tour guides.

I was a little apprehensive as to how this trip would go. Though we were hoping to catch up with Ben and O for dinner, we would not have them to GPS for us. We would be maneuvering through the city on our own. We would be landing in Newark so I was already concerned as to how to get from there to our hotel across from Madison Square Garden. I called Christina the night before we left and left her a message to call me if she knew what trains to take to get us to the hotel.

"Hey Baby," Aaron interrupted my call, "I've already got that taken care of."

"You do? How? There must be a website somewhere..."

"No. Just...I've got it taken care of."

At the airport I informed Aaron of my side mission while in The City. While we were to be in NY, another friend of mine was vacationing in Hawaii. We had decided to have a photo-scavenger hunt of sorts. I had to take silly pictures of Aaron and I doing something uniquely New York-ian and she had to take silly pictures with her travel companion doing something uniquely Hawaiian.

"We both have to be in the picture, Aaron and we both have to be posing funny."

"Great," Aaron said.

After landing and getting our luggage Aaron made a phone call to a guy named Deano. (I kid you not.) Deano from Jersey met us at the curb in a Suburban. He jumped out in a dark grey suit, opened the doors, loaded our bags and welcomed us to Jersey with an accent thicker then those guys on The Jersey Shore. Apparently, one of the companies that Aaron does business with uses Deano's services and arranged the "lift" for us. I was thrilled to bits because the thing I love about NY is seeing the stereotypes in real life: the rat in the subway, the crazy lady yelling at her imaginary foe, the Italian guy from Jersey with the slicked back hair giving "what for" to someone over his cell while punishing a piece of gum. Classic!

We pulled up to our hotel, a beautiful building with "Hotel Pennsylvania" in gilded letters over the canopied entrance. Deano unloaded the luggage and told Aaron he would pick us up to return us to the airport when our trip was over.

Hotel Pennsylvania. What the hell? Like a lot of the buildings in NY, this one is old. That's another thing about NY that I love. The juxtaposition of modern skyscrapers sandwiched in with pre-war architecture is a very present reminder of the history of the city. Hotel Pennsylvania is one of those fabulous older buildings but it has not been well kept. The carpets were once very fine but are now faded and worn. The paint on the walls were chipping. The brass accents were in need of polishing. Our whole stay there I felt like we were visiting a foreign country. The front desk was staffed by 4-5 foreign people all from different countries. It was both check-in and money exchange. Behind the clerks was a long row of television monitors all playing CNN and stock market tickers. The clerks were efficient but terse. They offered no extra information and no well wishes for your visit.

Aaron and I boarded the small elevator. We were followed by probably 8 more people and their luggage, all of us from other lands and speaking other languages. Later I reminded Aaron that New Yorkers and many of it's visitors have no concept of "personal space." There are too many bodies going to the same places to make room for "space." The elevators also had TV monitors with CNN blaring. The elevator went up and at every stop, shook from side to side. Awesome.

Our room: white walls, no art. There was a bed, a TV, a desk and a teeny tiny bathroom.

"This bathroom is not much bigger then Ben and Olivia's," I told Aaron. Another NY trait. Tiny bathrooms. Space is an issue everywhere. I opened our curtains, expecting a view of a roof top. There were many roof tops and rising from it all a tall skyscraper that I was certain was the Empire State Building.

"That's not the Empire State Building," Aaron said from behind me, "doesn't look old enough..."

"Huh...I guess you're right. Seems to me it should be more ornate."

After freshening up we met up with Ben and O and headed out for dinner. It was lightly raining. I kept at a quick clip to keep up with Olivia's long strides in order to share her umbrella. She had a place in mind that she hoped to take us to but when we got there it was closed. We tried to find a place out of the walking traffic to pow-wow and choose a new spot. I think it was Ben who had a new suggestion.

"It's a diner," Olivia said.

"Sounds good! We are game for anything," I told her.

"Alright then! It's so cliche. A New York City diner. Ha!"

"That's exactly why I love the idea!" I said.

Once at the diner we all placed our orders. Everyone else chose a breakfast omelette of sorts (Olivia's with turkey sausage) but I ordered a delicious bow tie pasta cooked in olive oil with scallions, mushrooms and sun dried tomatoes. While waiting for our meals Olivia filled me in on the "behind the scenes" of The Biggest Loser and of what is in store for her next. She just got her copy of Fitness magazine with she and Hannah on the cover.

"No one in Biggest Loser history has been on the cover of Fitness!" she excitedly exclaimed. "Jillian Michaels was just on Fitness two months ago," she said in awed disbelief that she was sharing the same honor.

Our food arrived as we continued to catch up on one anothers lives. Olivia and Hannah had been offered a job on Dr. Drew's new television show about....life improvement (I guess is how to describe it. Over coming addictions and things.) Hannah and O will host the fitness portion of the show; helping others who are struggling with their weight to get in shape.

"This tastes like pig!" Olivia suddenly exclaimed mid-conversation. "Ben, taste this. I don't think they gave me turkey sausage."

Ben took a bite.

"If that's turkey I want to know the brand. That's really good...." Ben said with a pleased expression.

"Will you ask the waitress when she comes back by? Double check for me. She's going to say it's turkey but I know what pig tastes like. I've gone too long with out it to not know the difference."

Aaron and I were cracking up at this whole conversation. The rest of our trip "This tastes like pig!" (said in Olivia's southern accent with emphasis on the word "pig") was our new catch phrase.

Way to go though, Olivia!
"It's all about making healthy choices," she said.

After dinner I told Ben and Olivia about our side mission while on vacation.

"I think it would be fun to have you in the pic too," I told Olivia.

Ben obliged to being the photographer:

With hugs, kisses and instructions from Ben on how to return to our hotel; we parted ways at the corner diner. On our way home Aaron and I passed an Irish Pub called Blaggers. We decided to pop in and enjoy a pint. The bar was another New York City cliche in both appearance and patronage. I was pleased as punch! The bartender was an Irishman who immediately pegged us for tourists (apparently we were cliche as well.) He gave us his recommendations for enjoying The City. Upon learning that we were there to celebrate my birthday he lined up shot glasses.

"Oh no. I don't 'do' shots," I told him.

"You do tonight," he insisted, "what will it be?"

"Those aren't all for me are they?" I asked noticing the three shot glasses.

"Nah," he winked, "we're all going to celebrate."

"One then," I said, "Something sweet please."

He and Aaron exchanged eye rolls to heaven as he began to brew up a potion. We each took our glass and raised them up in Cheers. Down went the delicious concoction. Tasted like lemonade; the sourness cutting the sweet to something the blokes could stand. We thanked him for our shots and and his tips for fun in the city and set back out for our hotel.

The rain had started again and increased as we continued on our way. Aaron picked up our pace to a light jog. I love, love to get caught in the rain! I was laughing as we hurdled puddles and dodged people; stopping only at intersections. Our clothes were drenched through and rain ran down the tips of our noses.

"I love this!" I shouted to Aaron. He kept pulling me along not appearing to share the same affection for the situation. While stopped at another intersection I pulled Aaron under the canopy of a closed up souvenir shop and kissed him.

"You and your 'sweet' shot," he said through a smile. I laughed again, grabbing his hand and running on as the herd began to move through the intersection again.

"You Complete Me" Bwahaha!

2011-07-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

My Nearest Dearest and her family had been on vacay for two weeks. I'm still relatively new to CO and so don't have all of the family and friends that I did back in TX. I have lots of friends here, I do, but Caren and her family are the closest to us physically and otherwise.

I also learned that most people in CO are either gone during the summer or have company. Why one would leave CO during the summer is beyond me. I know, I know....I went to TX for 3 weeks this summer but I vow to never do that again! It was dumb to be in the "screeching heat," as Drew would say, when I could be enjoying temperatures in the 80's and with little to no humidity. I had to see my Texas People though. I missed them so MUCH!! I'll see them in the Spring, when Texas is in bloom and the weather is lovely.

Anywhoo, while Caren was gone I tried to round up some play dates for the kids and I. I was able to schedule 3 such dates. That's right 3 in two weeks and they happened to be the last 3 days before Caren's family was to return home. It was so good! After days of entertaining myself with Tostito Lime Chips, books and laundry, it was so wonderful to see some of my girlfriends and their little ones.

Caren came home Friday and I "killed the fatted calf." OK, not really but practically. I put a roast in the crock pot so when they rolled in at 5:30 she would not have to scrounge around her empty kitchen to feed her hungry brood. This also ensured that I would get to hug and kiss them all. ;) Ha! I also made a chocolate cake because I missed Caren's and her oldest's birthday while they were away.

As always when I try to cook for my Personal Chef Friend, I screwed it up. Really? How does one screw up a Duncan Hines box cake that I've made a million times. Well I'll tell you. The first layer fell so there was a huge well in the middle of it. No problem, I thought, I'll just fill it with something. I looked for strawberries but we were out so I just filled it with extra chocolate frosting. Yummy but ended up being a bit too rich. Also the second layer was somehow bigger then the first and so I thought I'd just trim that little over hang off...BIG mistake. Then there were crumbs and they got all up in the frosting. The end result was a grainy looking chocolate mess. It's the Curse of Cooking for Caren. Arrrrgh!

No one seemed to care but me. Typical. We sat out on the back patio enjoying our meal.
"The texts you sent me while we were gone were cracking me up!" Caren laughed as she read them aloud:

"Come home soon! No one will play with me. Make that 'us.' No one will play with the boys either.

Won't you come home Bill Bailey? Won't you come home?

Hurry home. Never mind. Take your time. The giant pimple on my face is keeping me company. His name is Desperado.

Drew is craving your pear pie.

Tooooomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya tomorrow! You're only a day awaaaaaay!"

"Hilarious or pathetic? By the way, have you been properly introduced to Desperado? He's a mean little cuss. That reminds me...I need to have Aaron buy Desperado his own plane ticket for our trip to New York."

The Husbands sat with us on the patio drinking wine and catching up. Our kids periodically ran through the patio; laughing and screaming. There was talk of back to school shopping and plans for the last days of summer. Ahhh! All is right on my part of the mountain again.

Pages, Pieces, Priceless

2011-07-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school I had this friend, Sarah. She was only at our school for one year but in that time we became very good friends. Her family moved though and we did not see or hear from each other until after we both graduated. As life would have it we had the unhappy coincidence of both of our parents divorcing at that same time. We consoled one another in that brief reunion and then she was gone again and neither of us heard or saw each other again.

I have several stories like that. People who I connected with and loved for a brief time, part ways with and then reconnected with years later. *Thanks social networking!*

About 2 years ago we were living in Texas and a friend of mine gave me an incomplete set of 1940's encyclopedias.

"When I found these I thought of you," she said, "I figured you could think of something creative to do with them."

*Gauntlet dropped*

For a year, the encyclopedia's sat in boxes in my dining room back in Texas. Finally, I decided to set to work. I leafed through each book, and marked the pages that interested me. Later I went back and narrowed it down to the things that had words that encompassed a part of my life or had drawings that had artistic interest. These things were cut out and applied to a piece of stretched canvas with Jesso.

The result was a very interesting collage. In and of it's self it was a piece of work that I was proud of but it never seemed finished to me. I had always thought I would paint a big....something on it. A large typeset letter? I didn't know. I just knew I liked it well enough on it's own that I did not want to ruin it with just some hair brained idea.

My collage stood alone in the corner of my breakfast nook (that no one eats breakfast in) for another year.

You can see it there under my Aspen painting. This was taken at our house warming party in our home in Colorado. Guess who came to that very house warming? Sarah! Turns out she lives about 45 minutes away. It was such a comfort to see a familiar face there! We have since been able to get together numerous times. Each time I think how amazing it was that we became such quick friends so long ago and how close we still seem to be. Our lives rolling along in sync with our faith, spouses and kids.
This summer, while I was visiting folks in Texas, I saw a collage at my friend Lesley's house. (Another Lost and Found friend.) Over the collage was a painting of a huge butterfly and what looked like torn scrapbook pieces. Her piece was a print from Target I think. I snapped a shot because it was closer to what I wanted to achieve with my collage.

Back home in Colorado, it had been raining every afternoon for weeks. The result was an abundance of wild flowers in bloom. There were pockets of poppies everywhere. I have always loved the delicate, papery petals of the poppy...and then it hit me.

After a hike one rainy afternoon, I pulled out the jesso, paints and some tissue paper.

Such is life. So often I have found that events occur in life or people pass through and its good but seems random. Years later it all comes together and you find yourself with a treasure in your possession.

"...Or Are We Dancers?"

2011-07-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

This week I solicited some help with my dancing. I would practice the routine and knew what I was supposed to do but when I would spin I would bobble and then be off on my count. I called my friend Rende who has had years of experience in dance and movement. She is a Pilates instructor and is presently studying the Franklin Method. Both Pilates and Franklin are about moving your body the way it was made to move. Franklin applies visualization to get your body to move how it should. That is my very raw, very layman translation of these very complex practices.

Rende came over on Thursday morning and began by getting me in tune with my body and getting it to move how I asked it to. We then watched the video of the most recent dance routine I had learned. Rende was a quick study of it (as I knew she would be) and she set to work on helping me with my technique. Her tips and using visualization really helped! It was just what I needed. We danced for over 3 hours. It was so fun and I felt much better about my next rehearsal.

My house guest has left, the local yokels are either out of town or working and so this week has been a particular drag. My kids are bored and I am bored so having the dance to work on has been great for me.  To break up the monotony in my kids day we have taken to "swimming" in the hot tub.  The kids love it. We don't turn the heat on and I let them "man" the jets as they care to. In the mean time I sit in the shade of the patio and read or lay out and get some sun.  It's been a little life saver!

The book I'm reading is called Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner.   It's about a mother-daughter relationship. The mother is a writer. She had previously written a book about her life that had some people upset. Though the book was fiction, she gleaned most of the tale from her actual life. Those who recognized themselves in the book were angry that their business had been aired. That's been the biggest reason I have not written a novel. (As if it would actually get published.) But I have not even ventured to try because I know people would recognize one another. It would be a really good book though.... I try to figure out how could I twist it up enough with other people's stories enough to not make certain people or even ME seem obvious.

Blech. Forget it.

I have started a collaboration with another friend who writes and so maybe that will be the key. It's nothing like I ever write or even rarely read as it's a sci-fi/fantasy sort of thing. Crazy huh? It's been surprisingly fun, though we are just in the beginning phases of it all.

Yesterday's dance rehearsal went much better than the first. We learned the rest of the routine and it's super hot! I love it! It's the dance for the song Buenos Aires. It's basically a big street party! The choreographer wanted to record it for at home practice. She and her husband danced and she asked for my partner and I to dance with them as well for the recording. This was both scary and WOoHoO! We must not be doing too badly if we are in the "training video." Ha! Rehearsal was much more fun this week. *Wink to Rende.*

I dreamt last night that I made french toast. I whisked the milk, eggs, vanilla and cinnamon together and added a tablespoon of orange juice to it. When I woke up I had forgotten about it until my kids asked for breakfast. I decided to make my "dream french toast" but we were out of orange juice. I think I've made it that way before...surely I did not just dream that up. Literally. I looked it up on http://www.dreammoods.com/. I love dream analysis! Apparently to dream of French Toast means that you are happy and content in your present life and to dream of orange juice means that you have a positive out look on things. So there you have it!

The current state of things is French Toast and Orange Juice. I just keep on dancing through life.

Shout out to my reader in Kenya! I am fascinated by my international readers.  Who are you? Why aren't you blogging? You must have absolutely amazing things to share! It's gotta be more interesting then hot tubbing with your kids and reading...

Deja Vu

2011-07-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

Several times this week I've had a feeling of deja vu. I'd go downstairs and the house smells like it did when we first moved in. In the kitchen making breakfast, it would feel like one of those first mornings in our new home. It hit me on my walk today that we are very near to our one year anniversary in Colorado. We closed on the house either July 31st or August 1st. I don't remember....

This time of the year the mornings/evenings are cool and light. The breeze carries the scent of wildflowers and pine. Outside birds and squirrels chirp at each other and one can hear the trilling hum of the hummingbirds as they buzz the house. Everything feels new to me again. New but comfortable. Like when you get to pull out those perfectly worn in flip flops for the first time for summer or the equally perfectly worn in jeans for the first time in the fall.

A year ago, everyday felt adventurous. Who would we meet? What would we see? Even a trip to the grocery was trimmed with excitement. There were new dangers too.

Remember that hummingbird that charged my face? We all laugh now but you know another friend of mine (a mountain woman, mind you) said she had something similar happen to her once and it was scary! They have really long, sharp looking beaks. Coming at your FACE! Well, I still love the hummingbird. From a safe distance.

Also the bugs. There does seem to be less bugs up here then it is in Texas. I don't think it's so much that there are less but that they do not swarm you as they do in Texas. When Lesley was here last week we did have a weird sort of bee-fly that followed us down the hill. It was so annoying! We ran flapping our arms everywhere and the little bugger kept after us. Finally it seemed to be gone until I saw it piggy backing on Lesley's back. I took the shirt she had tied around her waist and swatted at the thing until it fell dead. (Sorry Les.) Lesley examined it. We'd never seen a bug like it before. The next morning the same thing happened again! Same bug. Well, not exactly the same bug because we killed it but...same kind of bee-fly thing. My friends always tell me it's silly to be afraid of bugs. "They won't bother you if you don't bother them." BULL! This little turd stalked us!

We have chalk boards through out our neighborhood where people post information like petting sitting, kickball games, things for sale or bear sightings. "6/24 9 p.m. young cat mountain lion spotted at this intersection," one of the chalk boards reads. That always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling...

I remember my first hike at Red Rocks. I got freaked out by a field mouse that ran across the trail I was on. Well guess what I woke up to Monday morning? A dead field mouse in my house! Hurray cats. I guess. I know it's a gift but I have not been able to muster up any thankfulness. Husband was not home, neighbors were gone and so I had to deal with the remains myself. I got two dustpans. One for scooping up the little guy and one for keeping a sort of lid over him. You never know. He could be faking it and jump up onto my face or something. Don't tell me it could never happen because ya'll also told me bugs were not coming after me and hummingbirds are not scary. Wrong on both counts. I flung the little rat over the fence. Some fox probably enjoyed it.

So I have survived a year on the mountain. I can handle critters, feed the hummingbirds, hike amongst mountain lions and bears, build fires, make food from scratch, snow shoe, ski...sort of, and can drive in the snow and ice. I've made wonderful, fabulous friends but I still terribly miss my Texas people. Today especially.

"Miss you," I texted to Shalah and Lauren. Even though I just saw them a few weeks ago, my heart aches for everyone back home.

"Miss you too," they said.

"My last visit left me very unsatisfied."

"Ditto," said Lauren, "Like having only one spoonful of your favorite dessert."

Even the homesickness is a deja vu.

How to Plan a Road Trip

2011-07-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

The boys and I went to Texas for a three week visit/tour. On our return we wrangled in my girl Lesley to ride back the whole 17 hours with us. Yes, she loves me LOTS!

Lesley is a planner. Sometimes it's to her detriment as she will plan what to wear, what to write, and what to do until all her time has been lost. I love a plan but mostly I love the execution of a plan. I am flexible with the plan prior to it being set in motion; then I can not tolerate any deviation from said plan!

Due to our love of a plan and of just being together, Les and I decided to meet just for this purpose. We wanted to map out our route and reserve a hotel. Les arrived (as planned) armed with a giant tote full of supplies, i.e. a bottle of wine.

Here is the official way to plan a trip:

Step 1

Open a bottle of wine.

We were at my mom's house though. Mom does not often drink wine and has a wonky wine bottle opener that Les and I could not get to work.

Les tried:

And tried:

We tried it where I sat on the floor holding it between my legs while Lesley stood above me pull, pull, pulling. Unfortunate that we did not have a picture of that.

Then I tried:

Next I tried a trick I'd seen on YouTube. Did not work since there was already a hole in the cork. There were a few tragic drops that were lost in this attempt...

This did move the cork a tiny bit though and so I tried grabbing a hold of it with my teeth as seen here:

My apologies to every dentist I've ever worked for and who have cared for my teeth.

Yes, I know better.

A final attempt was made in the traditional manner. Sort of... We reinserted the cork at a different angle. I rocked and pulled and rocked and pulled and....

SUCCESS!!

Step 2

Get Your Grub On

Whew! Next we put together a lovely spread of various cheeses, smoked summer sausage, raspberries, strawberries and stuffed grape leaves. Lesley then reached into her bag of goodies and succinctly plopped out onto the table an atlas, post its, pens, and her GPS. I had a lap top computer.

While I both mapquested and called my husband to compare directions, Lesley simultaneously began plugging coordinates into her GPS. In about 20 seconds we had our route planned, plotted and confirmed as well as a hotel reserved for the half way point.

We stared out our spread and laughed! It took about a half hour to get everything ready (not to mention Lesley's 45 min. drive out to my mothers and my half hour grocery store excursion for the "planning fare") for a 20 second planning meeting. I still stand by it. This is the only way to plan a road trip!

Just look at the happy results!

Day 1 of Dance Rehearsals

2011-07-17T02:39:00.000-07:00

This week my sweet friend from high school, Lesley has been in town visiting. Saturday morning we went for a walk on the three mile loop in the mountain-hood. We've had a goal to do it every morning during her visit. We've had beautiful cool mornings but we still worked up a pretty good sweat and...musk. So before rehearsal I was sure to shower. Even though I knew I'd just get sweaty again from dancing, I felt this was a courtesy I must offer my dance partner as the tango is a close quarters kind of dance. My hair looked so pretty though so I tucked it into a shower cap.

After my shower I wondered if preserving my hair was the best idea.

"Les, does my hair stink? Does it feel sweaty?"

"No," she said after taking a sniff and scrunching my hair in her hands. "Smells good really. It looks great!"

Awesome. Les was going to come to rehearsal with me. I was so glad to have that bit of support there. On the way I started to get nervous. I popped a piece of spearmint gum in my mouth, again thinking of my partner and the hopes of not offending the poor guy who got stuck with me.

"I'm getting nervous."

"You are going to be great! Just have fun."

"Yeah. Yeah. It'll be fun. I'm excited."

I was wearing leggings and a button-up oxford that that would cover my toosh. I had another thought...

"Les, here's what I need from you: tell me if during rehearsal my crotch is sweaty..."

"OK, how 'bout we develop a signal for that. Like maybe three fingers together like this..." Lesley made a closed "W" with her fingers and then gave them a little wave almost like saying hi to a baby. This we decided should not be maneuvered in the area of the crotch, nor near the nose. Too obvious. Instead she would just casually make the symbol in a general way.

"Yeah...that's good," I agree. "Also, give me a signal if the back of my shirt goes up too high and my ass is hanging out. Oh man...I hope that won't be sweaty too..."

"K. How's this?" and she mad a smoothing gesture across the top of her legs.

"Perfect. Let me know if I'm making any weird or unsightly faces and please, please honestly tell me how I did when it's over. Let me know if I need to get some out side help. Oh and tell me if you notice my partner or anyone else making faces at me like because I smell or dance bad or gestures that suggest I need to get my eyebrows waxed."

Once there I met my fellow dancers. I recognized some of them from the audition and we reminded each other of our names. The choreographer warmed us up and we got started! The first little bit I had missed while on vacation in Texas. The gal who got the role of Eva has made a website with videos of the choreography so that should be a huge help in catching me up. I tried not to dwell on that first part too much and instead took on tackling the new parts that we were all learning.

Several times I nearly cried. The choreographer would show us what the next part of the dance was and there's some little hop with a flip kick back, then spin, squat and pose. Just seeing her demonstrate it with such grace and ease made me want to run and hide. There was no way I could get this and often I didn't. At one point instead of a flip kick back, I did more of a high kick forward only I don't kick very high. So everyone else is kicking back and I was kicking forward. Awkward.

I am not a dancer. How did I end up here?! What were they thinking?

I was very frustrated with myself. My partner was always encouraging him, bless his heart. I tried to walk a line between getting as much extra help and info as possible and not holding up the rest of the group. I felt like such a problem child.

"Do you guys want to do that part again," the choreographer would ask, "or should we go on?"

"Let's go on!" Every one would agree and inside I was shouting No, wait! Again! Again!

I was very thankful for Lesley. Every time I looked out at her she was giving me thumbs up. Gone were the baseball coaching signals we had developed in the car. Just thumbs up and smiles the whole way.

I felt like a total fish out of water. Always behind. Not going the right direction. I fought tears and laughed in nervous hysterics the whole way home. The Dancing With Stars mirror ball once again came crashing down to the hard wood floor. This was not going to be the glamorous moment that I thought it would. I considered quitting. I mean, we are short one male dancer. If I left that would even it all out.

"Would you really do that?" Les asked.

"No. No way. I really want to do this show and learn to dance. I'm just so bad!!!"

"You really weren't Michal. If you would just watch the videos..."

Lesley had recorded every take. I wouldn't watch them at first but when I did I saw that no one else was any more ahead of the game then I was. In fact I was not so obviously off as I had felt. They all seemed to be having fun though and I looked very frustrated. I was making a strange face....("Why didn't you tell me?") lips mashed together, nostrils flared, eyes slightly bulging in disbelief, fear and frustration. Nice. Also my eyebrows were furrowed...I've really got to get those things waxed.